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albedo
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14 Jul 2013, 5:31 pm

This is probably going to cause a stink here, but anyone here not feel lonely? I mean in situations where you would expect to?

I'm interested companionship and affectation. honestly. :lol: I definitely get a lot out of my friends, even though I don't need to see them often.

I used to think I might be lonely, but actually I don't really experience this emotion, and part of this was not really knowing what it was but also wanting to emulate a societal norms. Nowadays I could give two s**t about societal norms.

I'm just pretty stable on my own, and am independent.

My fight is not with loneliness but complacency.



Thelibrarian
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14 Jul 2013, 5:44 pm

That depends on what you mean by lonely. I can do just fine with very little human contact, though at times I do wish I had more. I think the ideal for me would be an hour or so of quality face-time with people I like, and maybe a few hours of Internet-type contact--but it's just an ideal. My bigger concern by far is not being lonely enough, as in too much contact with others.



Pabalebo
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14 Jul 2013, 5:55 pm

I never used to care. Through most of high school I couldn't have cared less about anyone else... I could have sat in my room and read and played video games for the rest of forever. Sometime senior year of high school I realized what I'd been missing out on, and for lack of a better term, got "addicted" to human contact in college. Nowadays I get pretty depressed if I'm not in a social situation for a few days.


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billiscool
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14 Jul 2013, 6:12 pm

no, I am semi-loner,and would rather be by myself than socalize.
I do socialize but not on a regular bases.



albedo
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14 Jul 2013, 6:16 pm

Pabalebo wrote:
I never used to care. Through most of high school I couldn't have cared less about anyone else... I could have sat in my room and read and played video games for the rest of forever. Sometime senior year of high school I realized what I'd been missing out on, and for lack of a better term, got "addicted" to human contact in college. Nowadays I get pretty depressed if I'm not in a social situation for a few days.


When I was you age I was very isolated, hand all sort of problems, partly brought on by the isolation.

Slowly I turn my life around figure out this reciprocal friend thing, and made some. It has hugely benefited me.

However unlike you I would be pretty depressed if I was forced to socialize every (other) day. I have a good measure of socialization for me.

In hindsight I still wouldn't call what I experienced as the emotion 'loneliness'.



conundrum
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14 Jul 2013, 7:16 pm

In a general sense, no. There are certain people I miss if I don't see them for a while, but outside of that, no.

At work, I must be around people all the time. All I can think about is getting home and trying not to deal with anyone for a while. I could go for several days having minimal to no contact with most people and think of it as a vacation of sorts. :)


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redrobin62
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14 Jul 2013, 11:21 pm

I'm practically alone all the time.

I live alone in a neighbourhood I feel like I'm trespassing in.

I have a job but it may as well be in Timbuktu because people barely speak English there.

I tend to eat from drive-thru's a lot. Yes, I know. Not healthy but saves me the embarrassment of eating alone inside them.



eric76
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15 Jul 2013, 12:46 am

I used to feel quite lonely, but by now I have gotten used to it and feel comfortable being alone.



eric76
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15 Jul 2013, 12:51 am

redrobin62 wrote:
I live alone in a neighbourhood I feel like I'm trespassing in.


I try not to drive in areas that I have no need to be in. I know that the streets may be public and anyone can drive down them, but I invariably feel like I'm in the wrong place if I go down them.

On the other hand, when I lived in the Houston area and rode a bicycle 3,000 to 5,000 miles a year, I felt quite comfortable riding down any street.

Quote:
I tend to eat from drive-thru's a lot. Yes, I know. Not healthy but saves me the embarrassment of eating alone inside them.


I usually take something to read or work on while I'm eating if I eat out, but I prefer to just get something and bring it back to the office to eat.



auntblabby
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15 Jul 2013, 1:40 am

on my birthday, I used to make myself go out to some restaurant ALONE, and pick a window seat, and enjoy my meal ALONE. I did it at least partly out of spite, because we live in such a couple-oriented society that looks askance at singletons having the temerity to be seen enjoying themselves in public.



Ferrus91
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15 Jul 2013, 4:52 am

I can't say I feel lonely, I have a sort of social life. A lack of personal understanding is more of an issue, one I don't think any old relationship would solve too.



belladonna25
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15 Jul 2013, 6:33 am

I do feel loneliness quite a lot. I don't have many friends at all, but even if I do go out with a group of people I still feel lonely due to lack of connection, so it's kind of a strange situation. I wish I was more independent, but a lot of the time I feel like I need someone to love me in order for me to feel worthy, so when I don't have that I lose a lot of motivation in life.



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15 Jul 2013, 9:24 am

I have almost no social contact with anyone and don't feel lonely. The less people I have to fake a connection with, the better. I'm a happy hermit.



albedo
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15 Jul 2013, 12:04 pm

auntblabby wrote:
on my birthday, I used to make myself go out to some restaurant ALONE, and pick a window seat, and enjoy my meal ALONE. I did it at least partly out of spite, because we live in such a couple-oriented society that looks askance at singletons having the temerity to be seen enjoying themselves in public.


Even select very independent social people are able to pull this off. I have done this, but don't do it often.

It used to be painful nowadays depending on mood I could generally pull it off if I wanted to.

My birthday nowadays, I don't really have to mention anything, chances are because people have busy schedules, the chances of actually celebrating on the day are slim. However people will 'take me out', etc which I mainly do for them (I'm not spiteful about reciprocation). However this year I had one to many birthdays, it was pretty draining,.

It is funny most of the people who call themselves independent really aren't, they need people, just they want to be the ones doing the delegation.

One thing I don't do is celebrate New Years Eve, it is simply a night which everyone is in town which I can use for whatever I'd like. My friends, have also stopped making such a big deal out of it too.



albedo
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15 Jul 2013, 12:23 pm

Well I'm a weird mix of getting something out of some social contact and not feeling lonely. In fact I get a lot out of a little social contact, with diminishing returns if I can't take a breather.

I'm also a master of faking moderate extrovert behavior, which is learn't. It does help if you have a dry and quick wit. Obviously if you are nervous you brain doesn't function like that, so it take time to get to that stage.

However I could quite easily go for months without social contact, if I allow it.

One of the things I would say about total isolation (have been there), is whether or not you feel lonely, there can be negative consequences on your health. Quite common is paranoia. At the very least you might develop some anxiety issues. The reason is, your brain fills in the gaps it doesn't know about, being out of the loop, and very self centric, it can lead to a very "you against the world" mentality.

The direct social contact during my week involves my interests, and the relationship are fairly superficial to me, but the people aren't superficial, I just keep it that way.

My friends, they are few exceptional people, which is why I tolerate and like them even.



RudeGoldbergMachine
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15 Jul 2013, 1:23 pm

I am not lonely. I have a few friends that I can hang out with at more or less whatever intervals work for me. I don't really know many people, but I am also not that social. I'm the kind of person who can tolerate a small party now and then, but mostly would rather go by myself and sneak a flask into a movie theater :lol:

I moved around a lot when I was younger and have mostly been way too inept to make any friends. So I have almost always been lonely til recent.