I'm so sick of this whole aspie women have it easier crap

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Venger
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26 Dec 2013, 11:18 am

Perhaps the AS diagnostic ratio is less for women partially due to their NT significant-other making them appear to be more NT as well. Probably not true for one diagnosed though.



leafplant
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26 Dec 2013, 11:18 am

I have to say, one thing that irritates me is this (perhaps wrongly perceived by me?!) attitude of people (whether on spectrum on NT) that relationships of any kind are a god-given right that somehow they are being denied (possibly because the Evil Queen has got it in for them?)

there. I had to get that off my chest.


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26 Dec 2013, 7:57 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Most bisexual women I came across admit that dating men is way easier and even easier to deal with during a relationship.


Serious?

In my experience, men and women are exactly as bad as each other. Neither is easier to date for me IMO!


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Shau
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26 Dec 2013, 8:12 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:
Understanding things about someone is not the same as understanding what it's like to be that person.


*Shrug*

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Oh, and just to be clear I agree with pretty much everything else you wrote to include that autistic males get screwed pretty hard on the "approach" phase.


Fair enough. I tend to suspect that men would be more content with at least sex than women would be. Who says Nature doesn't have a delicious sense of irony?

leafplant wrote:
I have to say, one thing that irritates me is this (perhaps wrongly perceived by me?!) attitude of people (whether on spectrum on NT) that relationships of any kind are a god-given right that somehow they are being denied (possibly because the Evil Queen has got it in for them?)

there. I had to get that off my chest.


Feeling entitled and feeling sad that you don't have something aren't always the same thing, though. Sexual fulfillment is even listed on the hierarchy of needs.

Kezzstar wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Most bisexual women I came across admit that dating men is way easier and even easier to deal with during a relationship.


Serious?

In my experience, men and women are exactly as bad as each other. Neither is easier to date for me IMO!


WAY easier to get sex from a man, but can't say much for relationship dynamics.



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26 Dec 2013, 9:51 pm

Shau wrote:
The problem with male aspies isn't that they aren't socializing, it's that they suck at it and men are punished for this pretty severely in the dating market.


I'm certain this is true for many (maybe most). But there are many who truly aren't socializing. I've talked to plenty right here who admit that after a few bad experiences they just gave up; guys who don't leave the house except maybe for work or school, or guys who refuse to approach women for fear of negative reactions.

Hell, I talked to one guy who said he'd only approached ten or so women in his entire life. Which was just crazy to me. I mean, there've been times when I've approached (and been shot down by) more women than that in just one night. It was like he'd dipped his toe into a pool, declared it too cold, and then had the nerve to complain about how awful everyone else was for having fun swimming while he sat off to the side.

I sympathize with these guys, I really do. I get how past social failures can make a person fearful about trying again. I've had months on end when I didn't leave my apartment or talk to anyone because of exactly that fear. It sucks and I get how hard it is to get past it, but it is their own personal issues that are getting in their way, not that the male role is inherently harder.

And these guys are often the ones complaining the loudest about how much easier women (and any guys other than themselves) have it when, in reality, they have no idea how easy or hard it is for anyone because they've never really tried. And that's BS.

I'll point out here that I am not referring to all guys who have trouble meeting women, just a significant percentage of them. Nor am I claiming that women's hardships in dating are exactly the same as men's, I just think that trying to compare difficulty levels is both stupid and pointless; even if we could do it accurately, who would it help?


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27 Dec 2013, 7:10 am

mds_02 wrote:
I'm certain this is true for many (maybe most). But there are many who truly aren't socializing. I've talked to plenty right here who admit that after a few bad experiences they just gave up; guys who don't leave the house except maybe for work or school, or guys who refuse to approach women for fear of negative reactions.


But where are we supposed to go? Ok I'm not male, but you've described me here. Where is this mythical place called "getting out more" that people keep telling me I should go to? Whenever I am invited out it's usually to girls only nights organized by females I know who want a break from their husbands and a fun night out with the girls and usually the purpose of getting together is because someone is trying to sell me tupperware or candles or something. I seem to be the only person who ever organizes anything with both sexes attending and even then, it's all married people and a handflu of single women because they are the only people I know these days.

It's so insightful reading about men's experiences here because the handful of single women I know feel like there is no way we will ever be noticed by single men and we feel like these guys get to choose whomever they want and just disregard us as individuals because there are more of us than there are of them and we are too odd to be noticed or the men we know our age who are single are a bit aloof and have been hurt in the past and say they are sworn off women and focussing on other goals.

I'm not saying anyone has it easier, but our perspectives are maybe warped by not spending enough time getting to know the opposite sex and understanding their perspective.



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27 Dec 2013, 10:17 am

hurtloam wrote:
I'm not saying anyone has it easier, but our perspectives are maybe warped by not spending enough time getting to know the opposite sex and understanding their perspective.


If you Aspergirls would knock it off with that "being really rare" thing this part would be a lot easier! :(



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27 Dec 2013, 10:37 am

Shau wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
I'm not saying anyone has it easier, but our perspectives are maybe warped by not spending enough time getting to know the opposite sex and understanding their perspective.


If you Aspergirls would knock it off with that "being really rare" thing this part would be a lot easier! :(


I don't understand. Who am I saying is rare and what is the significance of that?



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27 Dec 2013, 10:39 am

hurtloam wrote:
I don't understand. Who am I saying is rare and what is the significance of that?


I'm not saying you're saying anything is rare. I'm saying Aspergirls are rare, and if we want some good Aspergirl perspectives we need you Aspergirls to stop being so rare! So hurry up and start becoming more common somehow cause it'll do us all a lot of good.



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27 Dec 2013, 10:58 am

Shau wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
I don't understand. Who am I saying is rare and what is the significance of that?


I'm not saying you're saying anything is rare. I'm saying Aspergirls are rare, and if we want some good Aspergirl perspectives we need you Aspergirls to stop being so rare! So hurry up and start becoming more common somehow cause it'll do us all a lot of good.


Oh I see. I totally misunderstood. I thought you were inferring that we were being precious and saying, "oh I'm so rare and should be treated extra special."

I think the problem is that we are not very social and you won't tend to meet us in real life. A lot of women I know who I suspect have Aspergers have never heard of it and I don't see it as any of my business to inform them when they are happy with who they are. I was going to describe some of them, but as they are very private people I think I had better not and leave them to their anonymity.



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27 Dec 2013, 12:58 pm

hurtloam wrote:

But where are we supposed to go? Ok I'm not male, but you've described me here. Where is this mythical place called "getting out more" that people keep telling me I should go to? Whenever I am invited out it's usually to girls only nights organized by females I know who want a break from their husbands and a fun night out with the girls and usually the purpose of getting together is because someone is trying to sell me tupperware or candles or something. I seem to be the only person who ever organizes anything with both sexes attending and even then, it's all married people and a handflu of single women because they are the only people I know these days.


my theory may be true,the aspie women who have the highest success in getting
partners,have a very active social life,which would indicate,they are more milder.



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27 Dec 2013, 1:05 pm

billiscool wrote:
my theory may be true,the aspie women who have the highest success in getting
partners,have a very active social life,which would indicate,they are more milder.


I think that is true of all human beings given that the whole dating thing is a numbers game. The more people you meet the more likely you are to find someone you click with and want to spend more time with.



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27 Dec 2013, 1:41 pm

hurtloam wrote:
billiscool wrote:
my theory may be true,the aspie women who have the highest success in getting
partners,have a very active social life,which would indicate,they are more milder.


I think that is true of all human beings given that the whole dating thing is a numbers game. The more people you meet the more likely you are to find someone you click with and want to spend more time with.


And since it's a number game as you say it, and since aspie men are more likely to have less dates than their female fellows (because they are supposed to use their social skills to make the first moves while the latter are not), then again.... we can see that they are more likely to have a harder time to find this someone they click with.

We can see that there are lot of aspies here rely on dating sites, and the numbers are not in the favor of males at all.



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27 Dec 2013, 2:00 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
billiscool wrote:
my theory may be true,the aspie women who have the highest success in getting
partners,have a very active social life,which would indicate,they are more milder.


I think that is true of all human beings given that the whole dating thing is a numbers game. The more people you meet the more likely you are to find someone you click with and want to spend more time with.


And since it's a number game as you say it, and since aspie men are more likely to have less dates than their female fellows (because they are supposed to use their social skills to make the first moves while the latter are not), then again.... we can see that they are more likely to have a harder time to find this someone they click with.

We can see that there are lot of aspies here rely on dating sites, and the numbers are not in the favor of males at all.


Just out of curiosity I checked the statistics listed on the Aspie Affection site:

Total Male Members: 5728
Total Female Members: 2007

Woof. Then I found a (admittedly out of date) graph for OKCupid profiles based on age:
[img][800:586]http://i.imgur.com/FdxLQls.jpg[/img]

About what I expected, honestly.



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27 Dec 2013, 7:47 pm

Shau wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
I'm not saying anyone has it easier, but our perspectives are maybe warped by not spending enough time getting to know the opposite sex and understanding their perspective.


If you Aspergirls would knock it off with that "being really rare" thing this part would be a lot easier! :(

There are a lot of very intelligent, scientific aspies around here...someone build an Aspergirl Cloning Machine?



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28 Dec 2013, 3:16 am

TheGoggles wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
billiscool wrote:
my theory may be true,the aspie women who have the highest success in getting
partners,have a very active social life,which would indicate,they are more milder.


I think that is true of all human beings given that the whole dating thing is a numbers game. The more people you meet the more likely you are to find someone you click with and want to spend more time with.


And since it's a number game as you say it, and since aspie men are more likely to have less dates than their female fellows (because they are supposed to use their social skills to make the first moves while the latter are not), then again.... we can see that they are more likely to have a harder time to find this someone they click with.

We can see that there are lot of aspies here rely on dating sites, and the numbers are not in the favor of males at all.


Just out of curiosity I checked the statistics listed on the Aspie Affection site:

Total Male Members: 5728
Total Female Members: 2007

Woof. Then I found a (admittedly out of date) graph for OKCupid profiles based on age:
[img][800:586]http://i.imgur.com/FdxLQls.jpg[/img]

About what I expected, honestly.


Lol age 31 is disastrous, no wonder I gave up on okc. Literally, there are no potentials left there.