lamest pickup lines

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ur hot wanna play world of warcraft together?

If you were a Dark Lance, then I would bang you all night long.

Fnord listed my faves. Here's a kinky one:

Do you keep your phone under your pants fly, or are you a transexual?

LOL

"Look, there's not much time. I think they're on to us. Come with me if you ... omigawd! Hurry! This way!"

"You've stolen my heart baby. Now give it back. I don't have Obamacare yet."

"Miss Petrovka? I have the limo waiting outside. Oh ... you're not Miss Petrovka ..."

"Yo, babe, alright, check it out, alright, like dig it, i have this, you know, it's like a proposition... nah nah nah, its not what your thinkin'. Look babe, we all know you're one special lady, yeah, and we dig that, and i dig that. You know im not playin' you right? Right? You don't never play a woman. I ain't like that. Aight, check it out, i got this place, aight, but i dunno how to handle that shiz. I aint no decorator! That's not how i roll. I like sports mother**** well ya, you know what im talkin' bout babe. So here's how it plays out: Ima buy you a drink, cause you deserve that shiz yo, then we go back to my place, and watch The Notebook. I can't watch that alone dawg, i gets all emotions n' you know how that goes down. We gots to be alone tho, i don't want my bros see'n me like that. You get where I'm comin' from, right, babe?"

HIM: "Tickle your a__ with a feather tonight?"

HER: "I beg your pardon?"

HIM: "It's particularly nasty weather, right?"

Whats the difference between me and Ford?
...
Ford has better pick-ups, can we **** yet?

I don't get it. I can only guess there's some pun going on between "feather" and "weather", but I can't see it.

"Fancy some late night scrabble?"

Yeah. Really. She thought she was being ever so witty.

It gave me some useful comebacks.

"I don't think the scrabble board is kept in there".

"Did the scrabble board move for you?"

and "I'm not actually pleased to see you; there's a scrabble board in my pocket".

Well, that'll teach her.

It's a doubletake. The idea is that the person you're using the pickup line on is supposed to be fooled into believing the replacement line is the same as the first. You'll notice a double-rhyme between the two lines. The second line is supposed to replace the first, with the listener/target none the wiser as to what you actually said in the first place.

It took me a while too. Its probably british humor or something.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have a gun
Get in the van

You are not hit on you pretty pretty lady YOU! Oh, looks like your my date tonight! Isn't fate lovely! *sneaks away, comes back with movie tickets*

Here is your free amazon gift card! *has sexual health written on the 'To:' space, and has "ask me out for more info" on the 'From:' space*

Well there is a lady without a free ticket to "my party of 'two sexy people and a scary movie'" in this room, how is this atrocity allowed to fester with out snacks and beverages? *twirls wax into his handlebar mustache for maximum humor*

If there ever is a time there is a more beautiful lady than you, I'll help you bury the body. <kind of a fail

Allow me to give you a free side of venison, ma lady.....
*holds sign that says cosplay boy friend only valid til you ask me out*

I'm gonna try this one!