how to deal with a bad situation

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redriverronin
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13 Oct 2013, 11:10 pm

I recently started going back around an old friend and his wife we have known each other our whole lives. The problem is his wife is very attracted to me sending signals so obvious a 5 year old could see it. The other part of the problem is she is a blonde bomb shell who loves cars and science so Iam very attracted to her also. This is a situation that I don't know how to deal with other than badly that is.



auntblabby
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14 Oct 2013, 12:48 am

golden rule applies here- what would you feel if it were you who were married to her and she was wanting to cheat on you with her friend? would you do that to a friend?



Who_Am_I
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14 Oct 2013, 2:15 am

1. Keep all of your clothes on.

2. Keep all of her clothes on.

3. If the conversation starts getting suggestive, bring up the weather or something equally boring to redirect.

4. Consider what is more important: a brief fling, or staying friends with your old friend?


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The_Face_of_Boo
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14 Oct 2013, 3:05 am

Some women just look/sound flirtatious 24/7, usually it's the case when they are that obvious, It doesn't necessarily mean they want something.

Either way, keep it in your pants.



hanshotfirst
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14 Oct 2013, 4:36 am

auntblabby nailed it, think how it would feel if she was your wife, that's the best thing you can do as a good friend.



BirdInFlight
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14 Oct 2013, 7:59 am

I second everything the people above have said -- don't do it. Consider your friendship, his marriage, etc.



JanuaryMan
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14 Oct 2013, 8:17 am

auntblabby wrote:
golden rule applies here- what would you feel if it were you who were married to her and she was wanting to cheat on you with her friend? would you do that to a friend?


Asking WP'ers in L&D to think of people other than themselves???! ! BLASPHEMY!! !
Seriously though, RRR. Listen to Labby on this one.



Wafflemarine
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14 Oct 2013, 8:28 am

I have found that just being yourself does pretty good at keeping women away....or could just be me.


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octobertiger
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14 Oct 2013, 8:59 am

Wait a second - is it your old friend or his wife you have known all your life? There's a lack of information from the OP.

Forgetting morality for a moment - make a list of the worst-case scenario. Let's say something happens between you and this woman you've kind of put on a pedestal. What's the worst that could happen, what is likely to happen (as you know your old friend better than anyone else here) - and could you live with yourself? Could all parties?

I would say, if there's really something between you and your friends' wife, then surely it would wait until they divorced. Of course, if no divorce is ever on the cards, then...that gives you your answer.

In practice, it's simple - everyone will do what they really want to do, and retrospectively excuse their behaviour on some notion of morality.

I would question how much of a friend you really are, though, if you follow through on something that has little substance. If the marriage is dying, and there is a genuine connection there, that's possibly another thing...but it doesn't sound like it.



Codyrules37
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14 Oct 2013, 9:40 am

Reminds me of the biblical story of about Joseph and the ones dude wife. The wife tries to flirt with Joseph and Joseph is like no way you're married. Then the wife tells the husband that Joseph was trying to flirt with her and the husband gets mad and throws Joseph in jail.

my advice is run for the hills. Especially if the husband is a cop.



aspiemike
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14 Oct 2013, 11:17 am

Been in a similar position, but the person wasn't married or engaged. I ended up looking like the bad guy in the mess. I was the one that lost all the friends despite the fact everyone else knew what she was up to as well. showing up to meetups in the meetup group we met would likely result in me being isolated and made to feel uncomfortable to the point I have to leave.

Now a person that is married. I can see the consequences being far worse than what happened in my scenario. In these scenarios, the girl always wins and a guy in the mess will have to take the blame for anything that happens.


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