Does "Let's just be friends" exist between people

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DavidCook
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24 Oct 2013, 10:37 am

I know I've had this problem plenty of times with NT girls. I try to treat them right, but they don't consider me as a boyfriend simply because I've been too nice to them. Isn't care supposed to be an important part of relationships? And shouldn't people start out as friends before becoming lovers? Is there such thing as a "friend zone" for people with AS? In other words, do people with AS put others in the "friend zone"?



Codyrules37
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24 Oct 2013, 10:39 am

yes would you consider ur mom ur girlfriend?

or ur grandpa ur boyfriend?



Schneekugel
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24 Oct 2013, 10:41 am

I think people with AS simply often have problems with sending the right signs for an interest in relationships.

Being nice is something that is totally normal among friends, that what friends are about.

For showing an interest into relationship, you need to add something, that is simply done without intense by NTs.



DavidCook
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24 Oct 2013, 10:50 am

Codyrules37 wrote:
yes would you consider ur mom ur girlfriend?

or ur grandpa ur boyfriend?


Sorry for that. There were two important words cut off. I meant to say "Does 'Let's just be friends' exist between people with AS"?



lost561
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24 Oct 2013, 10:53 am

DavidCook wrote:
I know I've had this problem plenty of times with NT girls. I try to treat them right, but they don't consider me as a boyfriend simply because I've been too nice to them. Isn't care supposed to be an important part of relationships? And shouldn't people start out as friends before becoming lovers? Is there such thing as a "friend zone" for people with AS? In other words, do people with AS put others in the "friend zone"?


"Let's just be friends" = " your not good enough to be my boyfriend" or "you are in adequete in someway" you heard it here first.



Codyrules37
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24 Oct 2013, 10:55 am

yes duh



Marcia
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24 Oct 2013, 11:15 am

In answer to your question, yes, people can be friends. People who like each other, but don't "fancy" each other, aren't romantically interested or physically atracted to each other, are friends.



Geekonychus
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24 Oct 2013, 11:24 am

Boohoohoo......... :cry:

A girl offers you her friendship........what a b***h. :roll:

What exactly is so wrong with having a girl as a friend? Is she supposed to f**k every guy who is "nice" to her even if she's not attracted to them? Are girls slot machines you put "nice guy" coins in and then sex falls out?



Uprising
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24 Oct 2013, 11:32 am

They consider you to be too unattractive (ugly) to be their boyfriend.

Offensive and saddening, I know, but if you want love you will have to move on to other (new) people until you find someone who doesn't reject you.



JanuaryMan
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24 Oct 2013, 11:47 am

These types of friendships exist, yes.

The "let's just be friends" thing though? It could mean something as innocent as they aren't ready to date, don't want to ruin your friendship or don't think you're their type but still like you as a friend.
It could also mean the other stuff that has been pointed out in this thread.



Uprising
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24 Oct 2013, 3:25 pm

Marcia wrote:
In answer to your question, yes, people can be friends. People who like each other, but don't "fancy" each other, aren't romantically interested or physically atracted to each other, are friends.

There has to be some kind of slight vague hidden sexual chemistry between 2 people of opposite gender to be connected as true friends or soulmates.

If there isn't, it often leads to conflicts where one feels like he/she isn't good enough.

It sounds weird and cliché and maybe paranoid but this is what I've noticed.



Geekonychus
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24 Oct 2013, 3:33 pm

Uprising wrote:
Marcia wrote:
In answer to your question, yes, people can be friends. People who like each other, but don't "fancy" each other, aren't romantically interested or physically atracted to each other, are friends.

There has to be some kind of slight vague hidden sexual chemistry between 2 people of opposite gender to be connected as true friends or soulmates.

If there isn't, it often leads to conflicts where one feels like he/she isn't good enough.

It sounds weird and cliché and maybe paranoid but this is what I've noticed.

Yes. It is cliche. There doesn't need to be sexual chemistry for a real friendship regardless of gender. You're just pulling that s**t out of movies and other nonsense. Many of my best friends are women and there isn't any attraction there.

Thing is you actually have to want to be friends which the OP doesn't want. If he did he wouldn't be moping about getting "friendzoned" because NT girls don't want to touch his wiener. He would actually be thier friends without expecting sex in return.



leafplant
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24 Oct 2013, 3:35 pm

^ needs to start a thread on what is involved in being friends with a girl



babybird
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24 Oct 2013, 3:39 pm

I've always been 'just a friend'.

Aw! :lol:

I jest, but it's true.


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leafplant
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24 Oct 2013, 3:47 pm

^ I don't see what's wrong with that, unless you really wanted to be something more than friends?



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24 Oct 2013, 3:48 pm

I had/have female friends but not not out of "Let's just be friends", they were simply initially friends.

In my experience, "Let's just be friends" is a polite rejection and they don't really mean it, even if I am totally convinced and I want to make a friendship, they often do zero effort to progress it as friendship. ie. they never initiate contact or suggest group outings or any friends-activities. That's not real friendship.