a good idea, how do I do it?

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Halfmadgenius
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09 Nov 2013, 5:45 pm

I posted on thread a few days ago wondering where to find smart men. Some one suggested having lunch in the hospital cafeteria. I like this idea actually. Not only are there doctors but male nurses and lab techs and such.

Problem is how do I explain having lunch at the hospital when I am not sick and have no sick friends. Do I just tell people who try to talk to me that I am hoping to meet a guy who is my intellectual equal? I mean it's not a common place to hang out and I don't want to give an impression that I am some gold digging bimbo.

And how do I get some one to approach me? Or what do I do if someone does approach me and I have a hard time speaking. I am not mute, if anything I have a problem with speaking when I shouldn't. But I do have difficulty speaking when I feel put on the spot. I stutter, speak sentences out of order or have a hard time finding the words then whispering them when I do.

And while I will try new things on occasion I approach any new experience and environment with apprehension. And to be blunt I am no actress so I am sure people will sense I don't belong there.



starkid
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09 Nov 2013, 5:53 pm

I hang out at the hospital all the time and no one notices. There's no way for anyone to know why anyone else is in the cafeteria, so you won't stand out just for being there, and most people will be too caught up in their own affairs to notice or care. If someone actually asks you why you are there, you could just say you came to buy something in the gift shop and got hungry.



Woodpecker
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09 Nov 2013, 6:11 pm

My worry is that people in the hospital cafe will be busy professionals who are grabbing a quick bite, they will not be looking for the opposite sex.

How about finding an excuse to be on a university campus, I would suggest hanging around those who do science for a living. If the university is a tradiational old fashioned one then it might have a chapel with regular services, try going there keeping a careful eye for unattached nerds.

Another suggestion is learn ballroom/latin at a university site, or go folk dancing. A lot of computer nerds do energetic folk dancing.


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Halfmadgenius
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09 Nov 2013, 6:18 pm

Well my mom has been urging me to apply there for a while (she thinks my current boss is taking advantage.). I guess that's as good a reason as any.



Halfmadgenius
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09 Nov 2013, 6:22 pm

Any thing requiring grace, coordination, and body awareness will not work. And I am afraid if I enter a Christian chapel I'll burst into flames. Besides college kids are way to young, I am 31.



leafplant
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09 Nov 2013, 6:46 pm

I went shopping tonight around 8pm and the supermarket was full of single looking guys. I was literally freaking out ..I've never seen so many in one place lol They were accidentally bumping into me a lot as well, so it's obvious that they go shopping on a Saturday evening hoping to find a date. I wonder if it ever works. Maybe I will try this on purpose in a better supermarket :lmao:


I used to go to hospital cafeteria every day to write. I'd get my coffee and write until the coffee was done. I miss those days. You could do that to. Then guys can ask you what you are writing about and you could say a romance novel set in hospital. And then ask them if they knew any good pick up stories that you could put in your book.

..



OMG I am like total PUA - get me! *does a little self congratulatory dance*


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Halfmadgenius
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09 Nov 2013, 6:54 pm

leafplant wrote:
Then guys can ask you what you are writing about and you could say a romance novel set in hospital. And then ask them if they knew any good pick up stories that you could put in your book



Actually the main characters in my romance novel are a librarian and a musician. She would not do well in a high stress environment as she is autistic... Hey, write what you know. Yes it is a bit of fantasy fulfilment :oops: that one probably will never see the light of day. The main character in my SciFi is autistic too. Hmmm, I am noticing a trend here...



TheGoggles
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09 Nov 2013, 6:55 pm

I really can't recommend this. I mean, let's say that you do meet a suave, accomplished doctor who wants to take you out to dinner. Then you get to explain that you were at a hospital dining area for the specific purpose of meeting male doctors. Besides, there's the implication that you're being treated for something. And nobody wants to bother a sick stranger out of courtesy, much less hit on them.



starkid
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09 Nov 2013, 7:09 pm

TheGoggles wrote:
Besides, there's the implication that you're being treated for something. And nobody wants to bother a sick stranger out of courtesy, much less hit on them.


No, family and friends of the ill also frequent hospital cafeterias; in fact, very sick people are more likely to be served meals in their rooms that to be there.



leafplant
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09 Nov 2013, 7:12 pm

Halfmadgenius wrote:
leafplant wrote:
Then guys can ask you what you are writing about and you could say a romance novel set in hospital. And then ask them if they knew any good pick up stories that you could put in your book



Actually the main characters in my romance novel are a librarian and a musician. She would not do well in a high stress environment as she is autistic... Hey, write what you know. Yes it is a bit of fantasy fulfilment :oops: that one probably will never see the light of day. The main character in my SciFi is autistic too. Hmmm, I am noticing a trend here...


Going to gigs or concerts and conventions should be where you will find your One then.



TheGoggles
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09 Nov 2013, 7:15 pm

starkid wrote:
TheGoggles wrote:
Besides, there's the implication that you're being treated for something. And nobody wants to bother a sick stranger out of courtesy, much less hit on them.


No, family and friends of the ill also frequent hospital cafeterias; in fact, very sick people are more likely to be served meals in their rooms that to be there.


True. Still, I'd be inclined to leave them alone, since who wants to risk hitting on a person who is visiting their terminally ill grandmother or something like that? Besides, hospitals have ethics rules that would make doctors pretty wary about hitting on people at their workplace.

Honestly, there are just a lot of better ways to go about this. Maybe find a Meetup group with people who are in to literature or science.



Halfmadgenius
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09 Nov 2013, 7:35 pm

Googlrs, where do I find meet up groups. All the SciFi conventions are in other cities, which is problematic as I don't drive or have any friends to bum a ride from. Plus I work Saturday so if I did bum a ride how would I get back for work?



1401b
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09 Nov 2013, 8:37 pm

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TheGoggles
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09 Nov 2013, 8:59 pm

Halfmadgenius wrote:
Googlrs, where do I find meet up groups. All the SciFi conventions are in other cities, which is problematic as I don't drive or have any friends to bum a ride from. Plus I work Saturday so if I did bum a ride how would I get back for work?


Sorry, should have mentioned that Meetup.com is actually a website. If you live in a small community, they may not have much though. The only other place I can think of is college campuses. If you're young enough, people just kind of assume you're a student. I used to walk through my localcampus all the time just to feel like I belong. Pathetic, obviously, but you take what you can get.



nick007
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10 Nov 2013, 2:12 am

I think that only patients would be hitting on you. The professionals would be chatting with their coworkers while eating lunch & would hit on the women nurses/docs or women they interact with(like patients or family & friends of patients) instead of approaching a random women eating in the cafeteria. I think it would be better to try & volunteer there. You could get to know the various professionals after awhile & then make a move.


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10 Nov 2013, 3:40 am

1401b wrote:
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Have you got breasts on the mind ?

I would like to point out that if you display your breasts in public with a very revealing outfit then you might end up attracting the wrong sort of attention. You might end up with all the local perverts trying to pick you up, also you might scare off a lot of decent shy men


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Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity :alien: I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.