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alien91
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

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Joined: 26 Sep 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 96
Location: Tn,USA

20 Jan 2014, 4:20 am

I'm an aspie and I struggle finding a balance between contacting a girl too much or too little. When I'm interested in a girl i tend to get obsessed and text ,email,or call her too much.... It's almost like the girl I'm interested in becomes my special interest and I want to know everything about her and talk to her 24/7. This seems to flatter the girls initially but they apparently get annoyed by it because they always quit talking to me completely without warning. I really wish women could be more direct and tell me when they need space and what they expect from me so I would know these things. I realize I need to chill out but how much? What do most women expect? How much should I contact a girl? It's all a balancing act because if you contact them too much you get on their nerves or freak them out but if you don't contact them enough you can't establish a bond and get forgotten. So what do ya'll think ? This dating sh*t is confusing....



wowiexist
Veteran
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Joined: 13 Nov 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 659
Location: Dallas, TX

20 Jan 2014, 9:30 am

I am not sure actually I have had the same problem. Next time I start talking to a girl I may look for warning signs that I am annoying her.



warsend
Snowy Owl
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Joined: 7 Dec 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 132

20 Jan 2014, 10:46 am

I've been on both sides (contacting someone too much and contacting someone too little). Unfortunately, recently, I think I killed my chances with someone by not talking to them enough (legit busy, but not in their eyes).

As for contacting too much, you have to read the girl. If she responds quickly and with long messages, she wants to talk to you and you are free to keep talking. If you notice her messages get shorter and shorter (also it depends on the questions you ask..), then back off a little bit, also let her initiate conversation once in awhile.

I recently waited almost 2 weeks to reply to a girl after apparently she gave obvious signals she wanted to go out on a date (based on friends and some comments on here), so if she keeps responding, there's some interest there (else she'd just ignore you).

My advice is be aware of what you are doing and realize the person on the other end has a life meaning he/she can't contact you 24/7. I think once you realize that and keep that in your head you will do better at this problem. Also, staying busy helps a ton so you don't get enamored with the situation.

Like I said, I've done both, it's very hard to balance it. Experience (sadly I'm still lacking but getting better) is also something that will help greatly.