Guys, did dating get easier after college?

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A little background on me; my luck with dating was decent 3 years ago. Since then, I've had a change in personality (less likely to BS or fake confidence), I've also switched college majors, moved to a different state, and live with my parents (until I finish school).

Now, I practically don't exist online or in real life. The last date I had, (the only in 2yrs), acted like she was doing me a huge favor and treated me horribly.

Did anybody else's luck pick up when they finished school? I'm hoping my living situation is to blame and not my personality.

After living on my own from 1985 to 2008, I have been back living with my parents since October 2008 and it has been difficult to say the least. And yes, it does grind on my confidence, if for no other reason than you do sometimes look at yourself through society's eyes.

And college can take almost all your best hours. One thing I recommend is pre-studying, jumping ahead even if behind and otherwise trying to get ahead of the curve, and then adding a couple of activities such as sports leagues, activism, volunteer work.

And then the light touch of course, that you're doing the activity for it's own sake, that if you happen to meet anyone it's a happy bonus.

Last edited by AardvarkGoodSwimmer on 20 Dec 2013, 1:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

No I found life got harder. As hard as it is you have to reintegrate and build up your lifestyle again. Be productive and get out there again in a huge way.

Sigh... at least you guys aren't sugar coating it. Sometimes I think about hitting up a foreign dating site, but I'd rather find success here. I think I'll just browse the ce catalog for a dance class.

It went from unlikely to impossible.

It was easier in HS, probably because women and people in general are less mature. Then it gets more difficult, then it gets easier if you keep at it.

in college your social bubble is fairly huge, there are litterally thousands of people you are aroundish on a given day.

Last week I saw 3 different people. I worked 46 hours as a caretaker + 60 hours night shift. I've been doing this for three years with little variation. It gets MUCH harder. Online dating SUCKS.

If your weight isn't where NTs want it to be, fix that s**t. The guy from BRCC (porn) put on 20 lbs and had to shut down his business for 6 months because his success rate with "potential clients" went from 45% (I know, right) all the way down to 5% because of his weight. And that 5% was much more likely to sue as well. being a little overweight costs you a lot of social equity.

Online dating sucks! It only works for around 25% (guess which 25%), is largely unsuccessful for 50% and worthless for the bottom 25%.

You CAN run into awesome people being out and about... but if you are like me and are aspie you probably wont realize until it's too late. You might shoot yourself down. Even worse: you might be so successful that she takes the lead leading to an uncontrolled social situation I.E. panic attack time! The guy I care for bumbled into a cute girl on the train platform, we started talking and she sat next to me on the train. I STARTED NERVOUSLY PLAYING WITH MY PHONE AND DIDN'T ASK HER NUMBER (yelling at me, not at you don't worry). Self-sabotage will be your number one enemy.

A lot of aspies seem to have trouble actually being attracted to 90% of women. There are a lot of posts about how guys need a certain figure or feature to be attracted. That is a major problem that I don't know how to fix but maybe someone else will chime in.

My luck changed about 2/3 of the way through doing my Master's degree. The pool of women was much smaller but I left myself open to meet new women through going out with colleagues. Eventually I met someone who liked me and she asked me out.

I can't really tell you if things really got much better for me or if I was just lucky. I've never been very social. In some ways I was well-adjusted, though: at that particular time I studied regularly and got good grades, I took care of myself (relatively speaking), I didn't drink or do any drugs, I didn't argue or fight with people. In graduate school I think these qualities started to become more important for other people.

But you probably won't end up dating anyone if you don't open up enough to meet new people. If you're single and looking, then you should try to do so on at least a weekly basis.

Most NT guys complain that it suddenly gets harder after they finnish whatever level of school they achieved. Same is true of aspies, including moi.

After college, I'll have more spare time, I'll make more money and I'll have my own place. This is bound to make dating a whole lot easier.

I am planning to open myself up to dating again this upcoming year.

Right now I've been finding women on Zoosk that have checked out my profile on Facebook, trying to friend them to see if they want to chat.

While it's nice that my profile is getting looked at, unfortunately it's mostly by crack whores.

It would be nice in 2014 to meet a woman worth dating, and who finds me appealing; I guess we shall see what happens.


However generally I appear to be doing better with colleagues and in terms of a social life now that I'm long out of high school. I'm under the impression I'll probably meet the right women thru those networks.

Last edited by TheDoctor82 on 22 Dec 2013, 2:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

After High school dating got 100x easier, but I'm not out of college yet so I can't say. I imagine it would be harder since most of the women I meet are somehow related to me going to college.

The only place I could see myself regularly being around women after college is wherever I work and I have a personal policy against dating co-workers.

Ahahahhaha.

Ooooohhh, just you wait.

There's only two girls in the computer science class, so it can't get any harder, at least. 130 hours of sparetime (as a full time computer science student who gets good grades and works on the side, you'll have roughly 70 hours if you count sleep in) every week will come in handy as well.

It did get easier after high school, though.

Join a club you lazy bum! go to Starbucks and find a girl who looks like she is looking for an excuse to stop studying and give her one!

My safe haven is the weight section of the gym. Not many girls there either...