So I've got a wonderful new GF...

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Shau
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09 Jan 2014, 1:21 pm

Unbelievable.

So, a year or so back I used to be pretty miserable at flirting with people. An AS woman I know, we used to "practice" with each other, building up our flirting skills together.

However, things kept escalating. She had a BF however, so I was constantly having to tone things down. She's a very "liberated" woman in that regard and they're in a quasi-open relationship, but I never wanted to get too involved in anything complicated in fear that it would ward off any prospective women.

Now, she's been like a goddamn luck-struck puppy lately, and now my GF is suspicious. My GF had made a couple of comments lately, so I had a talk with the AS woman about setting some serious boundaries here, and to have her let my GF know that there was nothing happening.

Well, it didn't work. It just f*****g backfires on me. I try to be a decent man, and people f**k me over for it. This is why I'm a misanthropist, I hate people so f*****g much....

People have never been anything but a source of grief in my life. People do nothing but bring me pain and harm, always have. Goddamnit all to f*****g hell...don't feel too offended if I couldn't care less if horrible things happen to all of you, on some level we'd all deserve it.



The_Face_of_Boo
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09 Jan 2014, 1:30 pm

Unbelievable.

Wtf?

Look, it's either your gf is too over-jealous or your friend was crossing limits. Either way, this sucks big time.

Remember, some people would consider even the mutual flirting as an act of mental cheating or potential cheating, even if there was nothing physical.



aspiemike
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09 Jan 2014, 1:36 pm

I probably would have just showed the girlfriend that I had the conversation... and if it happened through text, show her the text. Girls like to talk and speak with eachohter about things in common. This is how men get screwed over.

It sucks, as Boo said. best wishes and I believe that you will be fine soon.


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leafplant
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09 Jan 2014, 5:22 pm

Shau wrote:
Unbelievable.

So, a year or so back I used to be pretty miserable at flirting with people. An AS woman I know, we used to "practice" with each other, building up our flirting skills together.

However, things kept escalating. She had a BF however, so I was constantly having to tone things down. She's a very "liberated" woman in that regard and they're in a quasi-open relationship, but I never wanted to get too involved in anything complicated in fear that it would ward off any prospective women.

Now, she's been like a goddamn luck-struck puppy lately, and now my GF is suspicious. My GF had made a couple of comments lately, so I had a talk with the AS woman about setting some serious boundaries here, and to have her let my GF know that there was nothing happening.

Well, it didn't work. It just f***ing backfires on me. I try to be a decent man, and people f**k me over for it. This is why I'm a misanthropist, I hate people so f***ing much....

People have never been anything but a source of grief in my life. People do nothing but bring me pain and harm, always have. Goddamnit all to f***ing hell...don't feel too offended if I couldn't care less if horrible things happen to all of you, on some level we'd all deserve it.


I assume you had meant 'love-struck puppy' not luck-struck? In which case, you only have yourself to blame. Only a fool would let a woman who has feelings for him talk to his girlfriend. Let this be a lesson to you in human and particularly female nature. Also, good idea at this point would be to watch Basic Instinct and acquaint yourself with the concept of Bunny Boiler.

You live and learn my friend, live and learn..



The_Face_of_Boo
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09 Jan 2014, 5:39 pm

leafplant wrote:
Shau wrote:
Unbelievable.

So, a year or so back I used to be pretty miserable at flirting with people. An AS woman I know, we used to "practice" with each other, building up our flirting skills together.

However, things kept escalating. She had a BF however, so I was constantly having to tone things down. She's a very "liberated" woman in that regard and they're in a quasi-open relationship, but I never wanted to get too involved in anything complicated in fear that it would ward off any prospective women.

Now, she's been like a goddamn luck-struck puppy lately, and now my GF is suspicious. My GF had made a couple of comments lately, so I had a talk with the AS woman about setting some serious boundaries here, and to have her let my GF know that there was nothing happening.

Well, it didn't work. It just f***ing backfires on me. I try to be a decent man, and people f**k me over for it. This is why I'm a misanthropist, I hate people so f***ing much....

People have never been anything but a source of grief in my life. People do nothing but bring me pain and harm, always have. Goddamnit all to f***ing hell...don't feel too offended if I couldn't care less if horrible things happen to all of you, on some level we'd all deserve it.


I assume you had meant 'love-struck puppy' not luck-struck? In which case, you only have yourself to blame. Only a fool would let a woman who has feelings for him talk to his girlfriend. Let this be a lesson to you in human and particularly female nature. Also, good idea at this point would be to watch Basic Instinct and acquaint yourself with the concept of Bunny Boiler.

You live and learn my friend, live and learn..


Ahh sound like some evolutionary psychology here, tell me, I am curious, about which nature you mean?



leafplant
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09 Jan 2014, 6:58 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
leafplant wrote:
Shau wrote:
Unbelievable.

So, a year or so back I used to be pretty miserable at flirting with people. An AS woman I know, we used to "practice" with each other, building up our flirting skills together.

However, things kept escalating. She had a BF however, so I was constantly having to tone things down. She's a very "liberated" woman in that regard and they're in a quasi-open relationship, but I never wanted to get too involved in anything complicated in fear that it would ward off any prospective women.

Now, she's been like a goddamn luck-struck puppy lately, and now my GF is suspicious. My GF had made a couple of comments lately, so I had a talk with the AS woman about setting some serious boundaries here, and to have her let my GF know that there was nothing happening.

Well, it didn't work. It just f***ing backfires on me. I try to be a decent man, and people f**k me over for it. This is why I'm a misanthropist, I hate people so f***ing much....

People have never been anything but a source of grief in my life. People do nothing but bring me pain and harm, always have. Goddamnit all to f***ing hell...don't feel too offended if I couldn't care less if horrible things happen to all of you, on some level we'd all deserve it.


I assume you had meant 'love-struck puppy' not luck-struck? In which case, you only have yourself to blame. Only a fool would let a woman who has feelings for him talk to his girlfriend. Let this be a lesson to you in human and particularly female nature. Also, good idea at this point would be to watch Basic Instinct and acquaint yourself with the concept of Bunny Boiler.

You live and learn my friend, live and learn..


Ahh sound like some evolutionary psychology here, tell me, I am curious, about which nature you mean?


It's not that complicated. It happens from early age. think about children when they first start to become socialized - they want a toy and will not understand that they can't have a toy because some other child is playing with it. they want it and they want it now. nobody and nothing else matters. We sort of learn to try and suppress this urge as we grow old but it manifests itself any time we want something. In Shau's case, his AS female friend wants him for herself. He even says himself that she was acting love-struck - so that would indicate a high level of interest in him. A person in that emotional state is very unlikely to act rationally so asking his friend to reassure his GF about his lack of involvement with his AS friend was not likely to go well even if his AS friend didn't actually say anything factually implicative of a relationship, she could have said things and in such a way as to still make GF very cross. I mean, she just had to say the truth - we used to practice flirting on eachother - that's really not very reassuring to hear if you are someone's girlfriend (that would be the female perspective in particular).
Does that help?



aspiemike
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09 Jan 2014, 7:24 pm

I would think the AS girl now may have suddenly wanted shau now that she couldnt have him. Great way to sabotage relationships. Wouldn't surprise me in the least bit if she no longer wants him either.


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yellowtamarin
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09 Jan 2014, 8:28 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
Yay, this one sounds sane :)

But I could be wrong.



Stalk
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10 Jan 2014, 5:18 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
Yay, this one sounds sane :)


We should rather wait and see how the value systems aligns.



Shau
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10 Jan 2014, 5:04 pm

Update:

Both me and the GF have calmed down, and I've had a talk with the AS chick, and fortunately things have blown over. We've (literally) kissed and made up. As it turns out the GF had pretty decent reasons to get upset.

All we had to do was just take a day to calm down, then have an honest, open talk about it, and we managed to get through it without further incident. Outsiders say this is a pretty good relationship test that we managed to get through rather well, so I'll take that as a positive sign.

Still a fair bit pissed with Ms. AS though...we've both agreed that she should completely back off for a while.

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Unbelievable.

Wtf?

Look, it's either your gf is too over-jealous or your friend was crossing limits. Either way, this sucks big time.

Remember, some people would consider even the mutual flirting as an act of mental cheating or potential cheating, even if there was nothing physical.


I had put a stop to the flirting when I entered the relationship proper with the GF, so I wasn't doing anything naughty.



The_Face_of_Boo
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10 Jan 2014, 5:45 pm

Yeah, I would completely cut contact with that AS girl too If I were you. Too late for her, she should had shown interest when you were available.



Shau
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11 Jan 2014, 4:00 am

^ A difficult option, I've known the girl for a long time and we were good friends. I'm hoping enough time will cool riled emotions. If not for her, I would have never gained as much confidence and skill flirting with women as I have now.