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Pete579Williams
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31 Jan 2014, 10:21 am

Please give me advice on this.

As a result of my Aspergers Syndrome I have no natural social tools. I am like a small kid inside, and the only way I can get something done in this world is through (constructive) anger. This works out well when I am on my own, but trouble arise when I am to find a relationship with a woman (which is something I would really want, to have a family and my own kids).

I have only two possible comfortable positions in relation to a woman:

1. - Complete boss (dominant)
2. - Complete servant (submissive)


The reason for this is that anger is my only natural (non-exhausting) tool to get things done. When I express anger, I become the boss, when I do not, I become the servant. But since I do not have great social skills I realize it would be more beneficial to have a bossy (social) partner, who is the decision maker.

This submissive position allows me to be that small kid, and I really like that because of my upbringing (where I always had that position with my father being the boss, in a good way).

So what type of women would accept a man wanting that submissive position? Single moms could be an answer, because their social status dramatically drops as soon as they get children, since men usually prefer to raise their own kids. The thinking goes: "They already have one kid, they might as well adopt another (me)."

But the issue is, this is not a healthy approach to relationships. I just do not know how to change it. This cuckoldry position with a single mom is a huge turn on for me because it allows me to be myself. I want her to decide for us, while trusting her abilities as a leader.


But I want a normal relationhip with a woman, which I have never had.

How can I possibly change this way of feeling?



Fogpatrol
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31 Jan 2014, 2:26 pm

I know many people who are totally comfortable with their woman being the boss and there is a limitless amount of woman who's into that as well.

To what extend do you "need" her to decide for you?



tarantella64
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31 Jan 2014, 4:44 pm

You've got a very messed-up notion of what single moms are, and this business of lower social status...wow. You have...these are not only wrong ideas, but insulting ideas.

Incidentally, I have yet to meet any mom who's looking for an adult child to look after, and who wants more work heaped on her plate.



singularity
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31 Jan 2014, 4:45 pm

It sounds like you're talking about dependence rather than being submissive. (And having a woman look after you is not 'cuckoldry'.)



Marcia
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31 Jan 2014, 6:17 pm

tarantella64 wrote:
You've got a very messed-up notion of what single moms are, and this business of lower social status...wow. You have...these are not only wrong ideas, but insulting ideas.

Incidentally, I have yet to meet any mom who's looking for an adult child to look after, and who wants more work heaped on her plate.


This.

I am a single mother - divorced from my child's father - and I am a competent, professional woman whose social status is just fine, and I have zero desire to take on a man with attitudes like yours.

I realise you understand that your thinking is messed up and I'd recommend that you find someone to speak to about your attitudes towards women and life in general.