Relative expertise in dating/relationships - ASK ME ANYTHING

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Hey everyone.

I happen to possess a lot of significant experience in dating and relationships and have managed to use the advantage of my autism to be able to understand this much deeper.

If you have ANY questions (I mean ANY questions) then please fire away.

Ninja

Let me guess.

Go and meet people!

Get a job!

Don't be depressed!

There are people out there with missing limbs and you should be grateful!

Smile!



Just PLEASE be different from most of the crap, STUPID repetitive advice here. PLEASE.

Hey Ninja 1992,

Will I ever fall in love with someone where it's mutual?

Greetings,
cafeaulait

Forget the Autism/Aspergers part in my question as I would like to see you answer this from your point of view:

How do you effectively manage your time away from your SO? How do they manage that time?

Yes,I have some,how do you get a gf,that won't dump you.
Plus,how you get a gf,that is always happy.
how do get an ex gf,to go back with you.

what are your qualifications as a relative expert in dating/relationships?

How many dates have you been on over what period of time? with how many different people? How many relationships? Of what length and level of seriousness?

Assuming you were born in 1992, I find it a little hard to believe that you could be a dating/relationship expert. Mind you, if you are in fact 21/22 years old and have been dating since you were 13 or 16 years old and have had plenty of successful dates and possibly a lengthly relationship or two, then it is possible for you to be a relative expert compared to some of the dateless-at-40-years-old types that are on this forum.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt252159.html

So basically you just want to teach men on here your PUA techniques. Correct?

@MegaBass

Sweet, a fellow bassist! You will be glad to know that my advice definitely is NOT generic advice.

No, and I'm quite insulted that you would ever suggest that. I absolutely loathe the idea of people thinking that certain techniques get girls. It's false; otherwise everyone would be doing it. I've decided to advise you people because, 1) I want to help people, particularly in the future, and 2) I want to help people to develop the know-how or 'inner sense' of how to attract other people. I get a kick off that.

@goldfish21

I don't like being judging on facts and figures, I don't believe it sums up who I am as a person. But just to be nice, I'll do it

I've been going out and developing myself since May 2012. Prior to that I was a virgin and could probably count the number of women I had kissed on my fingers. Over the summer of 2012, I must have made out with 60-70 girls. Last year I must have dated about 15 girls, over time and with experience/trial and error I've got a great system of dating women down. I've slept with 11 women; it's not a lot - unfortunately I'm having trouble with sticking points in my development - but I certainly have the 'inner sense' of how to go about sex. I had a casual relationship (non-serious) with a girl last year which taught me loads (particularly in the bedroom).

I've done all this is just under 2 years. For any ordinary man, that is a feat in itself I believe.

@aspiemike

Not sure what you mean by SO.

@Cafeaulait

Will you? I can't read the future lad! But it sounds as if you're wishing on a star. So instead of wishing and hoping, why don't you take action to make it happen?

@billiscool

That's very vague. PM the specifics of your situation. I will keep everything confidential and answer it as best as I can.

WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT IF YOU PM ME IN FUTURE GUYS. JUST SAYING.

Calling B.S. on on your assertion of being an "expert" on dating/relationship.....

Picking up girls to make out with/sleep with - check.
Dating - that many girls in that short of time? You didn't have time to actually date any of them.
Relationships - NO WAY, DUDE! Sorry, none of those count as relationships. Not even close.

Just read that, and I have googled similar stuff on the internet before. The only thing PUA's seem to get right is by telling men to have some more self-respect. It seems they got women as all being the same and labelling them as numbers (ranking them from 1-10 based on how attractive they look on the outside), and the idea that women apparently can't act like responsible adults (more below)

Take this from a person who found out how PUA tends to work: You figure out you are dating a lot of insecure or immature or selfish women who don't know what they want and their minds change a lot quicker than a child. PUA seems to also instill this belief into men that women are incapable of acting like adults (a huge myth as I have found out and that each women is different). I don't think I will be asking for any advice at all now.

I am more concerned about what I can do to build my relationship with my girlfriend. I already know my relationship with God has helped me more than anything else on the internet. I know who to seek when I need the most help in my life.

Whenever you see the word 'expert' just remember:

an 'ex' is a has-been

and a spurt is a drip under pressure

Goodnight, hope you all enjoyed the chocolates, cards and flowers.

I don't follow that advice. Unfortunately the old principles in which the world of PUA used to work are quite shallow. I am absolutely against them. It kind of casts a shadow of negativity on the whole thing. You should check out Real Social Dynamics's material, that's much more 'new age' and very 'healthy' to put it one way.

To say that the women I am involved with are insecure is also out of proportion. I've met a lot of women over the past year. You're saying that ALL of those women are insecure? Highly doubt that dude.

@Eureka13

I never said I was an expert - I said I have 'relative expertise'. Re-read my post if you will.

Concerning dating - Yes, in that short space of time. I would consider meeting up with the person once as dating them - think of it like you're 'going on a date' with them.

Concerning relationships - I'm not after a girlfriend. I'm only 21, I'm after fun and excitement within casual dating. And by that, I mean sex AND also enjoying myself and developing myself. Infact, it's more about what I'm learning from my experiences. I began to see the girl I was seeing last year as if she was my girlfriend, strangely enough. If that counts for a relationship, I dunno.

And finally, I like how you and everyone wants to pick me apart. I appreciate the challenge, but I would appreciate more if you accepted what I'm telling you as true. I'm an incredibly genuine person, and quite honestly, why on earth would I go about spreading BS on an anonymous forum? Your logic is flawed.

I'm calling B.S. because you included the word "relationships" in the thread title, not for the dating part. Although, personally, I don't consider going out with a whole bunch of different people one time as an indicator of "success" at dating. Seems to me the goal of dating (at least from what I've seen posted by most in this forum) is generally to get more than one date with the same person (assuming you like them) and/or to find someone with whom you wish to have a relationship. YMMV.

You are obviously good at meeting new people and convincing them to go out with you once. I salute your relative expertise in that arena.

Also, as a female, I find it a bit offensive that you think it's cool to have "made out with 60-70 girls" in one summer and to have slept with 11 different girls in less than two years. That sounds to me exactly like a PUA or, as we used to call them back in my day, a "womanizer." Even though double standards have long existed for male/female sexual activity, calling a man a womanizer implied that it was more than just the expected "sowing of wild oats" - it's an implication of a man USING women for his own shallow motivations. It is not a compliment.

If you had said, for example, that in the last two years you had gone on 30 first dates, 10 second dates, 5 third dates, and had 2 relationships that had lasted more than six months each, I wouldn't question your claim to "relative expertise."

Having read through your post, I think you've posted this in the wrong forum. It appears you don't actually have much experience with relationships at all, but only with sex. There's an "adult" forum you could have posted in if you wanted to boast about how good you are at being promiscuous.

I'm not surprised you were a virgin. If you were kissing girls on your fingers, you were doing it wrong. You're supposed to kiss them with your lips.


(Hint: your sentence should have read: "I could probably count on my fingers the number of women I had kissed." The way you phrased it confused me at first and brought an amusing image to my mind, because I tend to read things literally).




Kissing 60-70 girls in a single summer, dating 15 girls in a single year, and sleeping with 11 women does not make you an expert in dating or relationships, because sex and kissing do not equal a relationship. Sex is only part of a relationship. In a true relationship, emotions are involved. Since the one official relationship you've ever had apparently taught you nothing but how to have sex, then it probably wasn't a proper relationship at all.



Are we supposed to applaud?

If a woman made a thread to say that she'd kissed 60-70 men in a single summer people would be calling her a slut. Yet because you're a guy you are referring to what you did as a "feat."

That statement right there (about your "feat") is just typical male bragging. You're basically boasting about how many women you've slept with and kissed.

I do not agree that there is anything worth admiring in this "feat" of yours. Anyone can sleep around and kiss random strangers. It's very easy to do. Provided you are a person who does not form emotional attachments, and is capable of thinking of other people as mere bodies and not caring at all about the emotions inside them, there will always be scores of lonely people out there desperate to kiss a perfect stranger.

Just because you can find people willing to kiss you with no commitment doesn't mean that you know anything at all about how to maintain a long-term, committed relationship with somebody.

If you are the kind of person who can happily kiss 60-70 women one after the other and not feel that you've sustained or inflicted any emotional damage at all for having done so, you are probably the kind of person who is currently not capable of having a proper relationship at all.



So you are familiar with the meaning of the acronym "PUA," but have no idea what "SO" stands for.

LOL that pretty much sums it up right there....

Last edited by thumbhole on 14 Feb 2014, 5:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

You are going to get herpes. Keep on kissing. There is no condum for your lips ninja. You should have enough experience to know when not to. If you dated, kissed, and slept with that many girls in 2 years, surely you must be doing something wrong.