the "real woman" excuse

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i'm sick of hearing that men aren't good to women anymore because women don't act like real women.
it might be true for many men, but i've never been treated well or desired as a long-term partner by having no money or ambition, acting submissive, and being nice and sweet.
in general, young women have "liberated" themselves sexually and socially.
young men have too liberated themselves by no longer feeling obligated to work, get married, settle for one woman or buy a house. it's just not cool. having a girlfriend = ridicule in a bro circle. a man has more fun partying with his bros and playing video games.
i know, i know. not ALL men are like that.
but why are men less enthusiastic about dating and long-term partnership? why is just hooking up more cool now than ever?
is it really because women are taking away the mens' pride by working and acting less womanly??
do men long for a more traditional woman?

I'm kind of confused by your post, tbh.. I think I understand what you're trying to say but not sure..

I like girls I can party & play videogames with. Considering how many of my 'bros' are single, I'd say it's about 50/50 and certainly not a target of ridicule. If anything, guys try to emulate those in successful relationships. What choice have we? Yes, women's actions determine men's, but everyone is under the same societal pressures both for & against basically any traditional opinions. Men & women alike waste incredible amounts of time taking shots at one another's pride, and this crosses the gender gap routinely. Men may prefer causal short relationships because their world has been convincing them for quite some time they're unsuitable for anything more.

How old are you, madbirdgirl?

Im too preoccupied with watching anime and playing video games to pay attention.

Same here. I also drive really fast

Wow, where's that?

It is a matter of perspective, really. Personally, I am attracted to girls with ambition and a life project, because I too have ambition and a life project of my own and I need somebody who gets that. Because that means not being always available and that you'd rather enjoy whatever free time you have left in your hands enojoying someone's company rather than fighting because you spend way too long on your personal projects or just out of petty jealousy.

I had a friend that dated a more traditional girl and it was a huge fiasco. She made a lot of scenes for stupid reasons, and got him in trouble several times, and that's because she had too much free time in her hands to pull that sort of crap. In the end, I know a lot of people that would rather have a long-term relationship with someone with ambition.

That said...

I think your problem is that you are probably looking in the wrong places.

Don't expect me to act like a woman. I'd rather stay a 21 year old Mod forever than act like a lady. You can call me Mr. by the way.

In fact, madbird, I think this isn't totally true. Take a breath, be less ranting, and let's do some reality checks about men. And you'll figure that it's not really a matter men wanting more traditional women or the like.

If you look at data, you see that even in the Western countries the stay-at-home dads are barely 1% of all dads. That only means one thing: Gender roles are still very very strong in the West, and the role of househusband is still not much respected by men and women . So men, of all kinds, traditional or non-traditional, still feel this social obligation to work if they wanna get married and settle for a one woman! The reasons for that are plenty (biological, societal, cultural) - I won't go too much in detail into that, we all know them. In that, it's not much different than Eastern world really!

And because men, in most parts of the world, still feel that way and because of the increasing unemployment rate (which is worse among men-dominated professions), then no wonder the affected men would avoid long-term/marriage. Most men (traditional and non-traditional men alike) wouldn't even think of settling for a woman unless they secure a GOOD career. On the other hand, an unemployed woman still has the option to become a housewife as long her man works - again, the number of housewives is a proof of that optional reality for women.

I think culturally we've moved on from the "traditional" idea of settling down in our late teens or early twenties to start a family, and the sense of duty or commitment that would have gone with it isn't necessary any more (and by "we", I mean everyone).
I wouldn't say having a girlfriend is any reason to be ridiculed by your peers if you're older than 11, but being "pussy-whipped" or "under the thumb" would be.
I honestly can't say if men long for more traditional attitudes towards monogamy, but I would say that around the age of 30 the idea of settling down becomes more desirable - but not necessarily monogamy.

Last edited by sapere_aude on 28 Feb 2014, 5:04 am, edited 1 time in total.

Of course, then you come to Australia where the men are complaining that women are "b*****s" and that they're going to go overseas to get a nice, compliant Asian girl. There are men out there who want a mum/slave not a life partner, just like there are women who only want a wallet.

Thankfully there are plenty of decent human beings out there, you just have to look.

It's different for everybody. Some have been hurt too many times to really care. Some people just don't like the idea of monogamy, or some just don't like being involved emotionally at all. Either way, you're certainly not meeting the right guys, a lot of men out there do still want the american dream (or, monogamy)

Try to look at it this way: men who have these attitudes you hate aren't worth being upset over 'missing out on'. It makes no more sense than being upset over moldy bread that isn't even yours - just forget about them because they aren't what you want. In my opinion it is very healthy to do this, because I think 'accepting whoever you can get' is what contributes to non-mutually-beneficial relationships, abuse, and divorce. It is good to stand up for yourself and demand that someone who wants to be your partner meets your needs.

One benefit of a world population of (currently) about 7.146 billion is that it's nearly a statistic impossibility that there are not many people who you are compatible with. Sure, the hard part is finding them, but that's just an inconvenience that those of us who are more picky have to deal with. But I believe the search will be worth it once you find one. People can seem very crappy sometimes, but there are good ones out there who can fit with you, they just take much longer to find.

the eyebrow pencil is mightier than the sword in very many instances.

Whats wrong with being a traditional housewife? Yeah, my 27 year long marriage has some problems, but so do all long marriages. My husband actually enjoys coming home to a clean house, with supper cooked for him. He enjoys having roles clearly defined so he knows what his jobs are and what mine are. He doesn't mind doing mine when need be and I don't mind doing his when need be. Nobody said I have to do this. This was my idea, and my husbands idea. When we started having kids we decided that one parent should stay at home and considering that he made more money than I did, the stay at home parent should be me. I enjoy being a housewife, and no I don't eat bonbons and watch soaps all day, by any means. Nor do I scrub and drudge like Cinderella.

I did have ambition. I had a s**t ton of it. But my kids were more important to me than that. I CHOSE to do this with my life!! I had other choices. I don't EVER want to hear you put down women who choose this again! Just because somebody calls somebody who does what I do a "real woman" and that gets your panties in a wad because you don't want to do it, don't you go around acting like we are all stupid and vapid and Quiverfull! Some people, actual people, actual women, or even womyn if you'd rather, CHOOSE to take care of their homes and families with their lives! Careers are great! You can have one and still take care of your family, just like men can too! If the man wants to stay at home while the wife works that's fine and dandy as well if it works for them. But don't you EVER run us down by acting like we are some half witted barefoot and pregnant, submissive 1950's throwback!