I can certainly see why some people are single.

Page 3 of 5 [ 64 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

GivePeaceAChance
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jan 2014
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 806
Location: USA

16 Mar 2014, 5:28 pm

Dhp wrote:
I see both sides of this argument; has has the right to have female friends, and if Hale_Bopp doesn't approve of that, then that is her opinion. What I don't like is that he is lecturing her on this point, as if he is going to change her opinion, and having the temerity that she is being rude to him. WTF? Then he goes on and on and on trying to prove his point to convince her. It's like a christian trying to persuade a non believer to convert. No wonder she is angry and he is single! He does have a right to ask why Hale_Bopp feels the way she does, but to lecture her? I think that is morally wrong.


no he does not - she said she does not want to se or be with that type of person , then he has the nerve to force himself on her

mine says no right wingers do not message me if you are right of center - anyone who does would get flamed, i did not say it for political discussion - i said it to exclude fights in dating, I just don't want to meet them. In the same way she has the right to limit who she dates - whether it pleases the person who is excluded or not.


_________________
?The first duty of a human being is to assume the right functional relationship to society--more briefly, to find your real job, and do it.? - Charlotte Perkins Gilman
"There never was a good war, or a bad peace." - Benjamin Franklin


Caleban
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 31

16 Mar 2014, 5:43 pm

i found the message creepy. It seemed too close to me. Like, erm, seemed a little why are you telling this to me exactly? It's not about his opinion, its just the time and place. And i dont know, i cant imagine anyone ever being interested in what he said anyway.

Was he trying to be funny or cute or something? It just came off as boring and weird. I feel disgusted that he would waste someones time with such ridiculous bullshit.

Yeah, leafplants bit about walking over to some random table in a restaurant and talking crap is right. It made me want to lecture him on bothering people with stupid lectures. I'd have gone at him full bore if he'd irritated me like that.

Having said that, its very rude to post someones private message to some forums, and equally creepy in my eyes. What did you want people to say about it? Seems a little attention desperate to me.



hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,774
Location: None

16 Mar 2014, 7:10 pm

FMX wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
The way he went on was ridiculous. If you don't like someone's question, write them off and move on.

Shows a lot about his personality, regardless of what he ranted about.


So, according to your logic, what does the fact that you went to the trouble of creating this thread (apparently to rant about the guy) say about you?


Probably that I'm a whiny twat, at least I can admit it though.



886
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jan 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,013
Location: SLC, Utah

17 Mar 2014, 1:43 am

There is a lot of truth saying that most men who have a lot of female friends probably want to have sex with a good number of them. But, there's also a lot of truth that "nice guy syndrome" and stereotyping are very bad for dating because they don't apply to everyone (although, you could argue that they do for most people). So, you're both right.

But he clearly did a very poor job bringing it up, I really don't know why he'd go out of his way to call you "rude" then offer you a compliment. It sounds like he's just trying to make you feel insecure so that you'll therefore settle for him, so again, maybe there is a little bit of "nice guy syndrome" going on here. If you don't like someone's answer to a question that much, don't talk to them, it's pretty basic stuff I'd think..

Dhp wrote:
I see both sides of this argument; has has the right to have female friends, and if Hale_Bopp doesn't approve of that, then that is her opinion. What I don't like is that he is lecturing her on this point, as if he is going to change her opinion, and having the temerity that she is being rude to him. WTF? Then he goes on and on and on trying to prove his point to convince her. It's like a christian trying to persuade a non believer to convert. No wonder she is angry and he is single! He does have a right to ask why Hale_Bopp feels the way she does, but to lecture her? I think that is morally wrong.

I personally have two female friends, and heh - I'm not looking to score with them (I am NOT that type that only makes friends in hopes of scoring). They are my friends. If they want to take it further, they can ask me (but only the man is supposed to ask, right? - That is ^&^&*&^^% nowadays, as the tables have been turned). One of my female friends has a boyfriend, so she is off limits to me. It doesn't matter, as I like both as friends.

Well, hale_bopp, at least he didn't say, "WANAFUK?" lol But I'm sorry that you're taking that kind of abuse. I sincerely hope you find the right guy for you. Let this be a lesson folks; you have no right to lecture the other one if that one has a strong opinion; but you can ask that other one why he or she holds that opinion. Don't try to change anyone. It doesn't work. They have to want to change for themselves.


The answer to her question was "an absurd amount" think about it, do you know any guys who have an absurd amount of female friends that aren't either gay or having sex/trying to have sex with them? An absurd amount is that, an absurd amount, not just one or two. It doesn't mean she's going to be the jealous controlling girlfriend who deletes all other girl's numbers from her boyfriend's phone, either.

Gotta love stereotypes!


_________________
If Jesus died for my sins, then I should sin as much as possible, so he didn't die for nothing.


The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,721
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

17 Mar 2014, 2:54 am

He's offended but he over-reacted pathetically.

But hale_bopp, you're somehow too obsessed in diagnosing 'nice guy syndrome' in guys generally, having a lot of female friends is no indicative of any shape or form for nice guy syndrome; nor not having any female friends is a sign. I am not saying this just based on this thread but on your entire posting history.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,721
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

17 Mar 2014, 3:06 am

886 wrote:
There is a lot of truth saying that most men who have a lot of female friends probably want to have sex with a good number of them. But, there's also a lot of truth that "nice guy syndrome" and stereotyping are very bad for dating because they don't apply to everyone (although, you could argue that they do for most people). So, you're both right.

But he clearly did a very poor job bringing it up, I really don't know why he'd go out of his way to call you "rude" then offer you a compliment. It sounds like he's just trying to make you feel insecure so that you'll therefore settle for him, so again, maybe there is a little bit of "nice guy syndrome" going on here. If you don't like someone's answer to a question that much, don't talk to them, it's pretty basic stuff I'd think..
Dhp wrote:
I see both sides of this argument; has has the right to have female friends, and if Hale_Bopp doesn't approve of that, then that is her opinion. What I don't like is that he is lecturing her on this point, as if he is going to change her opinion, and having the temerity that she is being rude to him. WTF? Then he goes on and on and on trying to prove his point to convince her. It's like a christian trying to persuade a non believer to convert. No wonder she is angry and he is single! He does have a right to ask why Hale_Bopp feels the way she does, but to lecture her? I think that is morally wrong.

I personally have two female friends, and heh - I'm not looking to score with them (I am NOT that type that only makes friends in hopes of scoring). They are my friends. If they want to take it further, they can ask me (but only the man is supposed to ask, right? - That is ^&^&*&^^% nowadays, as the tables have been turned). One of my female friends has a boyfriend, so she is off limits to me. It doesn't matter, as I like both as friends.

Well, hale_bopp, at least he didn't say, "WANAFUK?" lol But I'm sorry that you're taking that kind of abuse. I sincerely hope you find the right guy for you. Let this be a lesson folks; you have no right to lecture the other one if that one has a strong opinion; but you can ask that other one why he or she holds that opinion. Don't try to change anyone. It doesn't work. They have to want to change for themselves.


The answer to her question was "an absurd amount" think about it, do you know any guys who have an absurd amount of female friends that aren't either gay or having sex/trying to have sex with them? An absurd amount is that, an absurd amount, not just one or two. It doesn't mean she's going to be the jealous controlling girlfriend who deletes all other girl's numbers from her boyfriend's phone, either.

Gotta love stereotypes!


It can be the other way around, it can be that the guy is too attractive and women-magnet to the extent that a lot of woman want to befriend hoping to get him :).
I personally knew a single guy who's literally "any woman's dream" in everything: looks, height, body, confident personality, successful, and he had tons of female friends, an absurd amount like you say it- but a lot of them were exes and I bet the other half were admirers (they so remarkably like to take pictures with him leaning on him, body contact...etc).

Is that a nice guy syndrome case too?



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 17 Mar 2014, 3:19 am, edited 1 time in total.

886
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jan 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,013
Location: SLC, Utah

17 Mar 2014, 3:13 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
886 wrote:
There is a lot of truth saying that most men who have a lot of female friends probably want to have sex with a good number of them. But, there's also a lot of truth that "nice guy syndrome" and stereotyping are very bad for dating because they don't apply to everyone (although, you could argue that they do for most people). So, you're both right.

But he clearly did a very poor job bringing it up, I really don't know why he'd go out of his way to call you "rude" then offer you a compliment. It sounds like he's just trying to make you feel insecure so that you'll therefore settle for him, so again, maybe there is a little bit of "nice guy syndrome" going on here. If you don't like someone's answer to a question that much, don't talk to them, it's pretty basic stuff I'd think..
Dhp wrote:
I see both sides of this argument; has has the right to have female friends, and if Hale_Bopp doesn't approve of that, then that is her opinion. What I don't like is that he is lecturing her on this point, as if he is going to change her opinion, and having the temerity that she is being rude to him. WTF? Then he goes on and on and on trying to prove his point to convince her. It's like a christian trying to persuade a non believer to convert. No wonder she is angry and he is single! He does have a right to ask why Hale_Bopp feels the way she does, but to lecture her? I think that is morally wrong.

I personally have two female friends, and heh - I'm not looking to score with them (I am NOT that type that only makes friends in hopes of scoring). They are my friends. If they want to take it further, they can ask me (but only the man is supposed to ask, right? - That is ^&^&*&^^% nowadays, as the tables have been turned). One of my female friends has a boyfriend, so she is off limits to me. It doesn't matter, as I like both as friends.

Well, hale_bopp, at least he didn't say, "WANAFUK?" lol But I'm sorry that you're taking that kind of abuse. I sincerely hope you find the right guy for you. Let this be a lesson folks; you have no right to lecture the other one if that one has a strong opinion; but you can ask that other one why he or she holds that opinion. Don't try to change anyone. It doesn't work. They have to want to change for themselves.


The answer to her question was "an absurd amount" think about it, do you know any guys who have an absurd amount of female friends that aren't either gay or having sex/trying to have sex with them? An absurd amount is that, an absurd amount, not just one or two. It doesn't mean she's going to be the jealous controlling girlfriend who deletes all other girl's numbers from her boyfriend's phone, either.

Gotta love stereotypes!


It can be the other way around, it can be that the guy is too attractive and women-magnet to the extent that a lot of woman want to befriend hoping to get him :).
I personally knew a single guy who's literally "any woman's dream" in everything: looks, height, body, confident personality, successful, and he had tons of female friends, an absurd amount like you say it- but a lot of them were exes and I bet the other half are admirers (they so remarkably like to take pictures with him leaning on him, body contact...etc).

Is that a nice guy syndrome case too?


No, but I'm sure in modern society/the WP L&D forum, we could find a way to shame him for being who he is. :lol:

My whole point of what I posted is that there's always an exception to the stereotypes created by the internet, I guess your statement agrees with mine in a way.


_________________
If Jesus died for my sins, then I should sin as much as possible, so he didn't die for nothing.


hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,774
Location: None

17 Mar 2014, 5:39 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
He's offended but he over-reacted pathetically.

But hale_bopp, you're somehow too obsessed in diagnosing 'nice guy syndrome' in guys generally, having a lot of female friends is no indicative of any shape or form for nice guy syndrome; nor not having any female friends is a sign. I am not saying this just based on this thread but on your entire posting history.


A lot of female friends != an absurd amount of close female friends.

Clearly the idiot *did* need clarification on whether he read it correctly, because he clearly didn't.

The person you mentioned boo is the exception. Not the rule. I know an aspie guy exactly like that. But he's also a sex addict and a little strange and sociopathic.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,721
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

17 Mar 2014, 6:08 am

hale_bopp wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
He's offended but he over-reacted pathetically.

But hale_bopp, you're somehow too obsessed in diagnosing 'nice guy syndrome' in guys generally, having a lot of female friends is no indicative of any shape or form for nice guy syndrome; nor not having any female friends is a sign. I am not saying this just based on this thread but on your entire posting history.


A lot of female friends != an absurd amount of close female friends.

Clearly the idiot *did* need clarification on whether he read it correctly, because he clearly didn't.

The person you mentioned boo is the exception. Not the rule. I know an aspie guy exactly like that. But he's also a sex addict and a little strange and sociopathic.


What's the threshold number of close female friends one can have before getting into the absurd zone and therefore a Nice Guy candidate?



Geekonychus
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Nov 2012
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,929

17 Mar 2014, 7:04 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
He's offended but he over-reacted pathetically.

But hale_bopp, you're somehow too obsessed in diagnosing 'nice guy syndrome' in guys generally, having a lot of female friends is no indicative of any shape or form for nice guy syndrome; nor not having any female friends is a sign. I am not saying this just based on this thread but on your entire posting history.


A lot of female friends != an absurd amount of close female friends.

Clearly the idiot *did* need clarification on whether he read it correctly, because he clearly didn't.

The person you mentioned boo is the exception. Not the rule. I know an aspie guy exactly like that. But he's also a sex addict and a little strange and sociopathic.


What's the threshold number of close female friends one can have before getting into the absurd zone and therefore a Nice Guy candidate?

They're both wrong. Him for overreacting to something fairly innocuos and Halebop for posting this in a public forum. He's clearly socially awkward so there's a bit of "pot calling the kettle black" going on.



Eureka13
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2013
Age: 63
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,058
Location: The wilds of Colorado

17 Mar 2014, 7:45 am

I don't see where Hale Bopp is wrong for posting about this on a public forum. This is a place where all of us socially inept Aspies are trying to learn the "language of love" right?

So she gets a lecture from a total stranger on a dating site based on her answer to ONE of the 3000 questions. I'm sorry, that's just effin' weird. If it struck her as weird, I'm very glad she DID come here and ask (or rant) about.

There are obviously some of the men here who don't see a problem with what this guy wrote to HB. She is letting them know (with the help of a few others) that what this fellow did to her is one of those SOCIALLY AWKWARD things that we Aspies are trying to avoid, right? He's not a bad person for having done it, and this thread here has absolutely nothing to do with the topic of his uninvited lecture to HB, but what he did was socially inept. Period. He made her uncomfortable, and as a result, she won't communicate with him further.

For men who are trying to get dates, there is a lesson to be learned from this. In a public forum or in a classroom, lecture away! In a private message on a dating site, CAN THE LECTURES!! !!



Lilya
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,601
Location: Finland

17 Mar 2014, 8:34 am

Eureka13 wrote:
I don't see where Hale Bopp is wrong for posting about this on a public forum. This is a place where all of us socially inept Aspies are trying to learn the "language of love" right?

So she gets a lecture from a total stranger on a dating site based on her answer to ONE of the 3000 questions. I'm sorry, that's just effin' weird. If it struck her as weird, I'm very glad she DID come here and ask (or rant) about.

There are obviously some of the men here who don't see a problem with what this guy wrote to HB. She is letting them know (with the help of a few others) that what this fellow did to her is one of those SOCIALLY AWKWARD things that we Aspies are trying to avoid, right? He's not a bad person for having done it, and this thread here has absolutely nothing to do with the topic of his uninvited lecture to HB, but what he did was socially inept. Period. He made her uncomfortable, and as a result, she won't communicate with him further.

For men who are trying to get dates, there is a lesson to be learned from this. In a public forum or in a classroom, lecture away! In a private message on a dating site, CAN THE LECTURES!! !!


Well said.

I found this guy's lecture very bizarre and quite offensive. Hale_Bopp is entitled to her opinions, it was inappropriate of him to attack her like that for a singular answer and then have the nerve to call her incredibly rude.

I also don't see it as a very convincing argument that his past lovers surpass any male friends in number and closeness, it's generally speaking not telling about specifically stable social/romantic relationships..

A lot of guys here that fail to see the offense in his message could take a lesson in here.


_________________
It's not the sinful, but the stupid who are our shame - Oscar Wilde


Erwin
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 19 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 161

18 Mar 2014, 1:29 am

Jono wrote:
I don't get it, he's right. There's nothing wrong with a guy having lot's of female friends and calling him a loser for that seems bit disingenuous to me.

I know right? There's this guy who can kill 10 people at once in unarmed combat.



hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,774
Location: None

18 Mar 2014, 3:05 am

As other people have mentioned, the topic of his rant is beside the point. The point was it was a rude and strange thing to do.

I am a witch on the internet, I know I don't come across as very nice a lot of the time. I don't know why this is, something wrong with me probably. I could have worded the "rant" better and swore less. But I did not post his profile here for people to gawk at him. No-one knows who he is. How is it a problem that this has been posted here?



Wind
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jan 2014
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 525
Location: UK

18 Mar 2014, 8:30 am

hale_bopp wrote:
How is it a problem that this has been posted here?


Probably because this is a community for people with Autism/on the spectrum, and the majority probably don't have great social skills/social cues, and may have been spoke about negatively or treated in a negative way because they made a mistake, for example like the guy did who messaged you, so they may understand how this guy feels.


_________________
Your Aspie score: 187 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 25 of 200
AQ: 43
Empathy Quotient: 8
I have ASD, ADHD, Hypermobility Syndrome.