01 Apr 2014, 1:34 pm
01 Apr 2014, 2:39 pm
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,886
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
01 Apr 2014, 2:44 pm
01 Apr 2014, 9:52 pm
02 Apr 2014, 3:34 pm
02 Apr 2014, 4:08 pm
thewhitrbbit wrote:
I like that headline.
The red chair picture has been one of the most controversial ones I've posted. People either seem to love it or hate it. Some people have said it looks great that I can make fun of myself falling out of a chair and smile. Others have said it looks like a drunken mess.
Here are a sample of some of the messages. I would love some feedback/advice on better messaging. I try not to write to much, and always show that I read their profile by asking a question. It doesn't seem to be working.
"I do love to travel too, it would be awesome to have someone to go with though. I've been to New England, Texas, Arizona, California, England, and Japan. I'd really like to see the alps and visit Israel too. How about you?"
"Hey
What are you getting into in the medical field? Nurse, tech, emt? I got into EMS last year and it's really rewarding. Any fun plans for the weekend?"
"Hey
Congrats on graduating and becoming a nurse. Not only do you get to help people, but you (hopefully) get the cool schedule. I like your pictures, it looks like you have done some awesome stuff. Have you done any zip lining around MD/PA area? Or tubing? One of my summer to-do's this year is tubing at Harpers Ferry."
The red chair picture has been one of the most controversial ones I've posted. People either seem to love it or hate it. Some people have said it looks great that I can make fun of myself falling out of a chair and smile. Others have said it looks like a drunken mess.
Here are a sample of some of the messages. I would love some feedback/advice on better messaging. I try not to write to much, and always show that I read their profile by asking a question. It doesn't seem to be working.
"I do love to travel too, it would be awesome to have someone to go with though. I've been to New England, Texas, Arizona, California, England, and Japan. I'd really like to see the alps and visit Israel too. How about you?"
"Hey
What are you getting into in the medical field? Nurse, tech, emt? I got into EMS last year and it's really rewarding. Any fun plans for the weekend?"
"Hey
Congrats on graduating and becoming a nurse. Not only do you get to help people, but you (hopefully) get the cool schedule. I like your pictures, it looks like you have done some awesome stuff. Have you done any zip lining around MD/PA area? Or tubing? One of my summer to-do's this year is tubing at Harpers Ferry."
Maybe you need to pull back a bit. You are talking to them as if you already know them, whereas you need to take some time going back and forth making small talk almost until you get the sign from them that they want to step it up to the next level.
Also, it's best when you don't know someone to ask open ended questions - the idea is to make it comfortable for the other person to feel inclined to open up to you about whatever it is they find important or relevant to themselves at that time.
Are these messages to one person? You sound very hyper in your messages as if you are about to take off at great speed. Maybe you need to lay of caffeine/adrenaline when you are using OKC?
02 Apr 2014, 4:15 pm
02 Apr 2014, 5:27 pm
yellowtamarin wrote:
^ I'm a bit confused...where in those messages does he go beyond small talk? It all sounds pretty generic and casual to me.
Also, what would be a "sign" that she wants to step it up? I have no clue about those things, could be very useful info for many of us.
Also, what would be a "sign" that she wants to step it up? I have no clue about those things, could be very useful info for many of us.
Well maybe it's not then, idk, I guess I am not very open when I first meet someone. Also I wasn't sure if that was all to same person or to different people. It just sounded to me like one of those overly eager people who try to go too far too soon, but I guess maybe I am off on that estimation. Also, outside of UK people are much more likely to engage in personal talk with strangers anyway
I think the sign would be if she says something direct and personal about herself or asks him a question. But it really depends on each person I suppose.
02 Apr 2014, 6:45 pm
leafplant wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
^ I'm a bit confused...where in those messages does he go beyond small talk? It all sounds pretty generic and casual to me.
Also, what would be a "sign" that she wants to step it up? I have no clue about those things, could be very useful info for many of us.
Also, what would be a "sign" that she wants to step it up? I have no clue about those things, could be very useful info for many of us.
Well maybe it's not then, idk, I guess I am not very open when I first meet someone. Also I wasn't sure if that was all to same person or to different people. It just sounded to me like one of those overly eager people who try to go too far too soon, but I guess maybe I am off on that estimation. Also, outside of UK people are much more likely to engage in personal talk with strangers anyway
I think the sign would be if she says something direct and personal about herself or asks him a question. But it really depends on each person I suppose.
I'm not suggesting you are off in your estimation, the "levels of friendship/relationship" is something I've never understood so I'm just trying to learn. I actually wouldn't even know how to ask something less personal than the questions he asks...if I asked about the weather (is that what you mean?) I'd feel silly, but maybe that is what most people do.
If a "sign" that she wants the conversation to get more personal is that she asks him a question, isn't that sort of saying that it's up to her how the conversation goes? She's allowed to ask a personal question first but he is not? Doesn't seem fair to me.
02 Apr 2014, 8:40 pm
03 Apr 2014, 7:06 am
^^both, idk why I am trying to give advice, there is a reason I am on this forum so much 
at self.
the only thing I will mention is that old chestnut - it's not so much what you say but how you say it. But you have to be a bit of a mind reader to know what the other person will respond to (so read HOW they said things in their profile and try to reply in a similar tone)
03 Apr 2014, 8:05 am
03 Apr 2014, 9:36 am
03 Apr 2014, 10:10 am
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,886
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
03 Apr 2014, 10:17 am
03 Apr 2014, 1:45 pm
leafplant wrote:
^^both, idk why I am trying to give advice, there is a reason I am on this forum so much at self.
the only thing I will mention is that old chestnut - it's not so much what you say but how you say it. But you have to be a bit of a mind reader to know what the other person will respond to (so read HOW they said things in their profile and try to reply in a similar tone)
at self.the only thing I will mention is that old chestnut - it's not so much what you say but how you say it. But you have to be a bit of a mind reader to know what the other person will respond to (so read HOW they said things in their profile and try to reply in a similar tone)
You have offered constructive criticisms I have never heard before, so I was interested in them. I've often found I can help others find love, but not myself.
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