Women frustrate the crap outta me

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BirdInFlight
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07 Apr 2014, 7:26 am

alien91 wrote:
i agree with everything you are saying but It doesn't apply to me because i'm direct in my interactions with girls so they would have to be deaf to not understand that I like them in a romantic/sexual way... It seems to me that women,most of them anyway, hate direct flirting and would much rather be subtlety teased. Yet they complain about guys lying and playing games.


I was trying to say clarity would be nice from both sides. Not just when a woman isn't sure if a man is interested, but I was trying to say that yes, women can seem like they are playing games and leading on, but I was pointing out that although sometimes that girl may well be doing that to be cruel, other times it only seems like she is playing games but her real reasons might be that she's beating around the bush because she's not interested but is afraid to come out and say so.

I'm not saying that's right either, it's wrong, I'm just saying that if a woman seems to be playing mindgames sometimes it's because she herself is either undecided or is afraid to just be honest and say she doesn't want to date you. And that's a pity. That's why I'm saying it would be nice if everyone -- and I mean women too -- could find a way to just make things plain so that nobody has to feel like they are getting strung along by someone.

.



TornadoEvil
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07 Apr 2014, 9:21 am

BirdInFlight wrote:
alien91 wrote:
i agree with everything you are saying but It doesn't apply to me because i'm direct in my interactions with girls so they would have to be deaf to not understand that I like them in a romantic/sexual way... It seems to me that women,most of them anyway, hate direct flirting and would much rather be subtlety teased. Yet they complain about guys lying and playing games.


I was trying to say clarity would be nice from both sides. Not just when a woman isn't sure if a man is interested, but I was trying to say that yes, women can seem like they are playing games and leading on, but I was pointing out that although sometimes that girl may well be doing that to be cruel, other times it only seems like she is playing games but her real reasons might be that she's beating around the bush because she's not interested but is afraid to come out and say so.

I'm not saying that's right either, it's wrong, I'm just saying that if a woman seems to be playing mindgames sometimes it's because she herself is either undecided or is afraid to just be honest and say she doesn't want to date you. And that's a pity. That's why I'm saying it would be nice if everyone -- and I mean women too -- could find a way to just make things plain so that nobody has to feel like they are getting strung along by someone.

.


It would be nice, but can you imagine two Aspies struggling with their identities and sexualities and always getting into arguments and being passive aggressive and unclear or not getting things across. I still can't get the knot from that out of my head. I can find ten things to describe it as "but it's much worse because." Yet somehow I still miss her. I don't really see things as right or wrong anymore, just I feel like I'm going with some Byronic internal messed up flow. I need help sorting things out still. My previous therapist felt like I should just be able to sort things out on my own and needed to stop pushing me, and I think that just made me worse. I really honestly can't figure out what I want to do with myself anymore. I would give anything for her to honestly tell me that she really doesn't care about me anymore, despite being on the verge of being possibly kicked out of school for my behavior towards her. I can't really pull anything rational together for myself some moments. Even just declaring everything completely over.

Just putting this out there because I want help. Is there anything wrong with that?



thewhitrbbit
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07 Apr 2014, 11:08 am

My room mate is a female and I've noticed that the men she dates are as bad as women when it comes to being clear about what they want.



hurtloam
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07 Apr 2014, 12:21 pm

MDD123 wrote:

Sometimes I think if women had their pick, all guys would be like Eminem and they could just melt our icy bad boy hearts.

I know its a little sexist and broad stroke, but I've wanted to say that for awhile now.


I dunno about sexist. Lets just leave that out of this conversation, but I do wonder if it is a class thing. Is it just working class people who like the rough guy, I want to fix him thing or who want to emulate the rough guy to get girls? Or do middle class women like this too? Just saying because I want a man as educated and with the same level of manners I've been brought up with - yeah I know I'm being a bit snobbish, but I wouldn't look twice at an M&M mimic.



AspieOtaku
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07 Apr 2014, 12:42 pm

I don't trust anyone, I fear getting stabbed in the back if I do, its probably not healthy but it is what it is not everyone is kind or compassionate some of them pretend to be so they can get what they want out of you and leave you and kick you while your down. Not all women are kind hearted some are only out for themselves will put on their false friendly attitude to lure you in and they got you where they want you and stab ya in the back and rip your heart to shreds without a care in the world. Image


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vickygleitz
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07 Apr 2014, 4:53 pm

I agree. women in general I think are more conniving and play more nasty games than men do. and guys? Well, my daughter[NT] has had her heart broken a number of times. [ and she has broken plenty more] Every time though, I mean EVERY time, when she first started dating these guys they pretty much told her. They would tell her things like "i'm not the marrying kind," 'I'm really not a kid person," "I like the chase more than anything," "I get bored easily," " I NEED to have the most beautiful woman around on my arm." Things like that. Then they fall in love with my daughter and she disregards what they told her in the beginning. Until it comes back and breaks her heart.

Women just need to learn that men usually tell the truth about who they are from the get-go, while many women rarely do. Men, for you it's especialy rough.

But, there are some really good women out there. Honest. And everyones heart gets broken. Most people say 'never again' at least a dozen times before saying "Wow! This is really it. Finally!"



BirdInFlight
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07 Apr 2014, 5:11 pm

By vickygleitz: "Women just need to learn that men usually tell the truth about who they are from the get-go" -- Uh, hell no. Are you fcking kidding me? Men connivingly misrepresent themselves ALL the time depending on what they think is going to lure a girl into bed, whether it's pretending to be "in love" with the girl who they sniff out wants that, or have money, to the girl they realize is looking for that -- men connive ALL the time. I cannot believe you think not.

I'm out of this conversation. I initially posted with compassion and a desire to help, as a middle aged woman myself who has lived through all kinds of situations and can look back with clearer vision than when I was a young girl feeling very confused by men. I was a sweet young woman who was strung along and manipulated by men, rather than the reverse. Yet all there is on this damn board is HATEFUL young men thinking that NO woman can be the well intentioned one, and NO man can be the conniving ass hole.

Wow. As probably the oldest one in this particular conversation, I'm giving up on you guys here. I was trying to be helpful but the bitterness here is off the fcking charts. Enjoy that. That SURE will get you love.....


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vickygleitz
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07 Apr 2014, 6:03 pm

You seem a little bitter.



AspieOtaku
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07 Apr 2014, 6:29 pm

Anyone can be cruel and conniving regardless of sex.


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Kezzstar
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07 Apr 2014, 6:52 pm

vickygleitz wrote:
You seem a little bitter.


YOU are the person who is tarring every woman with the same brush and you're calling BirdInFlight bitter?!

...Yup.


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07 Apr 2014, 7:15 pm

Well this thread is full of fedora sporters, clearly.
What a bunch of idiotic generalisations.



Eureka13
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07 Apr 2014, 7:24 pm

Some women are evil. Some women are good.

Some men are evil. Some men are good.

Some people are evil. Some people are good.

Some women play games. Some women don't.

Some men play games. Some men don't.

Some people play games. Some people don't.

Shall I go on? :roll:

Almost all of us are taught to be polite and not to unnecessarily hurt other people's feelings. What that means is that a lot of people won't say what they really mean for fear of hurting someone else's feelings. NTs are probably much better at doing this while still getting their point across. NTs are probably much better at understanding when someone is doing this to them.

I doubt there is one adult human on this planet who hasn't had their feelings hurt by being rejected. For most of us, it's probably happened more than once. Likewise, I doubt there is one adult human on this planet who hasn't been the one doing the rejecting. Probably more than once. It is what it is. Life.



vickygleitz
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08 Apr 2014, 11:27 am

I am not tarring and feathering every woman. if you choose to interpert it differently than my intention, well, of course it's your choice. All I know is that which I have personally witnessed. And what I have seen is man after man jumping through hoops and emptying their bank accounts for beautiful women. I have seen one of my daughters friends [not my daughter] planning in which order to date men according to the most amount of exotic vacations within an alotted amount of time and which guy is hottest enough and presents best for a specific occasion. I have seen so many texts from men to women begging for another chance, or at least to be told what they did wrong. I have seen many of these women laughing over the texts and saying things like, "Couldn't the idiot see he was out of my league? Next!"

I have not seen anything even similar among any of my sons friends. [ except one slut named Matt. But,to his credit, he says that he always tells the women from day one that he is not looking for a serious relationship. I am a mama figure [and actual mama] to some of them. These guys who do not cry call me crying all of the time when their hearts get broken.

Sometimes we will have gatherings where the kids bring their friends. Inevitably some of my boys friends will ask if I would introduce them to one of the girls. I tell them that I care too much about them to do that.



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08 Apr 2014, 11:58 am

Eureka13 wrote:
Some women are evil. Some women are good.

Some men are evil. Some men are good.

Some people are evil. Some people are good.

Some women play games. Some women don't.

Some men play games. Some men don't.

Some people play games. Some people don't.

Shall I go on? :roll:

Almost all of us are taught to be polite and not to unnecessarily hurt other people's feelings. What that means is that a lot of people won't say what they really mean for fear of hurting someone else's feelings. NTs are probably much better at doing this while still getting their point across. NTs are probably much better at understanding when someone is doing this to them.

I doubt there is one adult human on this planet who hasn't had their feelings hurt by being rejected. For most of us, it's probably happened more than once. Likewise, I doubt there is one adult human on this planet who hasn't been the one doing the rejecting. Probably more than once. It is what it is. Life.
That almost sounds like a poem LOL

Some men are evil some men are good

Its not easy being misunderstood

Some women are good and some are bad

the latter is what makes me very sad


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Eureka13
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08 Apr 2014, 12:28 pm

^^

Love it!! !



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08 Apr 2014, 8:31 pm

hurtloam wrote:
MDD123 wrote:

Sometimes I think if women had their pick, all guys would be like Eminem and they could just melt our icy bad boy hearts.

I know its a little sexist and broad stroke, but I've wanted to say that for awhile now.


I dunno about sexist. Lets just leave that out of this conversation, but I do wonder if it is a class thing. Is it just working class people who like the rough guy, I want to fix him thing or who want to emulate the rough guy to get girls? Or do middle class women like this too? Just saying because I want a man as educated and with the same level of manners I've been brought up with - yeah I know I'm being a bit snobbish, but I wouldn't look twice at an M&M mimic.


It's definitely not a class thing, could be an age thing though, all I know is that if you treat opposite sex relations like they're disposable, the success rate goes up. My old roommate is living proof of that.

I get told that I don't appear confident, but in my experience, having confidence is like a death sentence to actual talent. If I started acting confident, I'd put less effort into things like school, exercise, and everything in between.

I'm glad manners count for something though, that's something I actually have going for me.


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