Women and men irritate the crap out of eachother!

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[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGelJhg4B9Q[/youtube]

YESSSS. I totally agree with this.

It is a very liberating realization. You realize that it is just chemical impulses and nothing more so it can be manipulated and "tricked" in other ways.

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news ... ision-sex/

Studies after Studies are showing how different women and men are, and much more than mere physical differences, how wouldn't they irritate each other? lol We are SO different, so different, and as I said probably bigger difference (brain differences) than between NTs and ASs of the same gender.

Women and men have evolved in parallel and very closely, but yet on two close different lanes.

Theoretically, if each gender was capable to breed independently, and there was no constant genetic transfer between the two, they would have evolved to two different cousin species by now.

I dont think men and women are all that different. Certainly, I think a lot of differences are exaggerated by social/cultural conventions and assigned gender roles. I think it makes some sense that there probably are innate 'default' differences, but these are fairly easily overcome/over-ridden with various efforts, internally and externally, and the spectrum of behaviours within either sex is pretty wide.

I see 'human nature' as varied, incoherent (as in, traits do not cohere and compliment), contradictory, incomplete and plastic. This view allows for all exhibited human behaviour, unlike other more rigid/essentialist views which are left bewildered (and often angry) at the non- and contra-appearances their theory faces.

No human can breathe unaided underwater. That is a clear, biological fact. On the other hand, I was not born able to play the guitar the way I can now (which is pretty damn good, IMHO). I had to change my body by years of practice. The agility and speed and co-ordination simply wasn't there when I started. Similarly, no amount of campaigning or legslation is going to make people able to breathe unaided underwater, whereas social/behavioural changes happen all the time.

If this were some real life thing, I'd open my mouth to respond, not know where on earth to begin, close my mouth and just look at you funny for a second or two.

Umm... not the case for me. Woman irritate the crap out of me. Always end up being jealous and vicious, without just cause. I mostly get along really well with men. I don't get a long with woman (never have).

I've witness a lot of friendships between women that end up in jealously and viciously - with lot of gossip and rumor spreader against the former friend.

The wise duck says:






And hey, before some of you accuse me of being sexist or posting a sexist picture, ironically, the same women here who accuse men here of generalizing women are the same ones who can't tolerate long to be with other women in the same room.

Over-generalization. I don't get along as well with most women, and definitely not in groups, as I do with men. Nevertheless, at the moment I have way more female friends than male.

Also, I think there's a huge difference between NT women and AS (or AS-like) women. For us Aspie women, hearing you continue to say that all women are devious and untrustworthy, is like one of the female members here insisting that all men are PUAs. For you guys who are not PUAs, it's a totally foreign concept. Same deal with us women. Remember that AS women have "masculinized" brains. We don't "get" NT women any better than you guys do. Even so, there are exceptions to every rule.

If it is more important for you to complain about women than it is for you to get along with the ones you have the best chances of getting along with (i.e., AS women), then by all means keep complaining about women. Wouldn't it be more productive, however, to put your energy towards understanding rather than hatred?

Generalizing doesn't mean hatred, do you hate NT women? Because you did over-generalize them the other day.

Also, as I said many times before, aspies are not statistically significant in numbers, many of us haven't even met an aspie woman or man before.

Stereotypes aren't often about a mjaority, I read somewhere they are often about 30% (largest minority).

"Masculinized brain". Do you have a copyright on that? I want to borrow it.


Since I sorta instigated that wise-duck-quote-photo I feel badly that The_Face_of_Boo is getting nitpicked about it, even though Boo is perfectly capable of defending themselves. I was the one over-generalizing (as a woman myself) based on my own life experiences. I personally agree with and had a chuckle over the duck picture.. and will continue to say that woman tend to end up being jealous and vicious around me without being prodded (again life experience) and they will most likely always irritate the crap out of me. Though will admit I like spectrum woman better.

Geist, your experience is by no mean an unique one, I have heard it from countless of women too and it seems to be cross-cultural too, I live in the Middle East and I've heard similar complains from women here and from almost every corner in the world (I usually get along more with the nerdy/science type of women).

To be fair, in every group of female friends I was involved with or friends with there was usually ONE of them who's Friendship-wrecker and who does mess things up: I've seen it multiple of times at school, at university, in the workplace, in extended family and life.

For instance, last year I was friends with two women who were friends too and over a small dispute (her friend couldn't make it to visit her at the hospital for a gastric bypass surgery), the other started spreading bad things and baseless sex rumors about her. Another case almost happened this year with another bunch of female acquaintances, and over a stupid thing again.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 28 Apr 2014, 11:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

Genetics? Or feel-good-knee-jerk reactions? Deflect their own embarrassments, pain?

I proved this theory of my own about woman the day my mum had a heart attack. We ran a daycare out of our home at the time. When I called up the parents to tell them we were taking at least a week off due to the emergency the reaction I had was not what I expected. I thought the mothers would be sympathetic.. because well.. they were mothers. And woman by natural assumption are the gentler/weaker sex, no? All of the mothers answered the phone. Not one of them was sympathetic. All of them made comments as to why they couldn't just bring their children in that day... uh because I was going to be at the hospital with my mother that was why. Then the fathers started calling in (about an hour later) They, to my utter shock. Where the ones telling me to call them if I needed anything. I was so upset over my mother to begin with and then to have a bunch of mothers railing me about putting them out I wasn't about to take the fathers up on their offers but blandly thanks them anyway. All this mind you when I'm not one to use the phone to begin with (and they all knew that) Anyway, that was the first time that I collectively felt the full effect of the female gender. (there have been many others)

Another experience, I was used to work with 7 female coworkers before the downsizing - one of them had developed a relationship with a coworker guy, and because he is Christian (and she's Muslim); the other 6 women (who happened to be all Christians btw) were so viciously disapproving and gossiping about this relationship because of the religious differences and describing it as "pointless" and "crazy". On the other hand, male coworkers, while I know that a lot of them had secret crush on her in particular, were totally ok with it and didn't say any criticism regarding the relationship, including the Muslim coworker who did try to propose to her once.

I have no idea how the spectrum women are in real life, I've never met one for real.

Basically, what it comes down to for me is that group dynamics are extremely difficult for me, whether it's male or female or mixed-gender groups. At least when I'm in a group of males, they're not (subconsciously) trying to compete with me. Since I don't get the whole social competetiveness thing, this makes it a more comfortable setting for me.

When I say things like I'd rather cut off one of my limbs than be in an all-female group, it's not because I hate them or think they're all worthless b*tches; mainly it's because they usually are interested in talking about typical mainstream interests. Since I have less than zero interest in any of these topics, I can't contribute, so I sit like a lump in the corner while all this completely uninteresting (to me) conversation goes on around me. With a group of men I can always talk about cars or science or sports and find some common ground, or at least some topic where I can join the conversation. If I do happen to find a woman who shares one or more of my interests, I do my best make friends with her. But it's rare to come across a woman like that.

Men I can talk to are much less rare; therefore it's simply easier for me - less of a stretch to my anti-social tendencies. Trying to make conversation is hard enough; when the prevailing conversation is something I know nothing about, it becomes a Catch-22 - the more excluded I feel, the more uncomfortable I am; the more uncomfortable I am, the more excluded I feel.

Speaking from an evolutionary point of view, if we were more comfortable with our own genders we would not be seeking relationships with the opposite sex and stop procreating. Maybe its part of our competitive nature, its interesting to see how we have not much changed our ways since long time ago.

Also interesting that humans tend to sometimes stick in gender herds, which some animals do in nature.

Also on the subject of aspie women having a more male mind, this is opposite of my own experience. The only difference I see is they tend to be more logical/intelligent, but not really manly so to say, which there are also just intelligent women out there.

Last edited by Vomelche on 28 Apr 2014, 1:45 pm, edited 3 times in total.

On the subject of cross gender communication and Aspergers, I couldn't help but notice all the Aspie-like females I know have mostly male friends (and few if any female friends) and all the Aspie-like males have mostly female friends and few if any male friends (like me). I recently met an Aspie male in his mid 20s and you guessed it, all his close friends are female. I've also tried to befriend Aspie males and it has been a monumental failure on both sides. Maybe this has to do with the whole being oblivious to the whole social competitiveness game?

I'm male but I find I feel more at home around females and can generally relate to them better. Probably why it's hard to show off my masculinity in a relationship.