Taking the next step.

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As well as the social difficulties I encounter on a day to day basis, I also have a marked fear of men. This is a result of things that have happened in my past, and an unpleasant experience with harassment that I endured last year. So already, I'm on the back foot here.
My last relationship ended nearly 2 years ago, and since then I have had little to no interest in romance or dating.

I started a new job last year. It took me 6 months to be able to even say hello to colleagues with whom I had little direct contact. I slowly built a relationship with others in my department, and they have accepted me for who I am. I only received my diagnosis at the end of last year, so I think it's fair to say that it does not dominate my life too much. My employers have made adjustments to allow me time to refocus when I feel things are becoming too much.

There is one guy I work with that I've developed feelings for. We worked together all-day, every day for two weeks during the summer, and we struck up a friendship which has slowly blossomed. We go out in a group regularly. He knows about the ASD, but he accepts my quirks with no questions and always seems happy to see me. Recently, a mutual friend told me that he had confided that he has feelings for me. For a long time, I thought that this was just a wind up. But others have said the same to me, and I now think that it's true.
He is a few years younger than me, and I suspect that he is also on the spectrum.

We've been out alone twice recently. The first time I was so anxious that I felt physically sick, and came close to cancelling. This week, he asked if I wanted to go out after work and I said yes. We had a lovely time, and we're both comfortable with each other. Comfortable enough to maintain eye contact when we talk, and to be ourselves. I'm at the point where I want to tell him that I have feelings for him, but I have no idea how to approach the subject. There's still a chance that I'll make a fool of myself and he isn't interested. Our colleagues are on the edge of doing it for us as they have described our relationship as "painful to watch" due to the shyness.

I'm sorry for waffling as much as I have done here. If anybody has any suggestions for how to approach the situation, I'd be very grateful to hear them!

Many thanks

You don't have to tell him you have feelings for him, just show him! Each time you go out together, you're showing him that. Show that you trust him. Take an interest in his life and invest time with him. That's all you have to do.

Don't overthink. There's no need to rush into anything. Just have fun and let things fall into place on their own.

Totally agree, he sounds like a really nice understanding guy! Im happy for you, however I will add that if you think that he has not picked on you having feelings for him just say to him basically that you do feel the way he dose, but I'm sure he will pick it up if you get on so well, just show him you trust him and enjoy his company. Good luck I hope it works out for you both

Thank you both for your replies It was my birthday this week, and when I got to work there was an e-mail wishing me a Happy Birthday. That e-mail has been the catalyst for the week I think. Suddenly, all his emails ended with an 'x'. I was sat at work with a big smile on my face- partly due to that, and partly because the reaction of my colleagues on my birthday made me feel truly blessed.

On Wednesday I missed my buses home because I'd sat chatting with him and another friend for an hour and a half. The friend told him to give me a lift home and he obliged. When we got back to mine he asked "Do you ever think that we could be more than friends?" I said yes... and so now we're seeing each other!! !

We're going on our first date next week, but we're keeping it quiet at the moment to see how it goes. We went out last night with friends for my birthday, and he dropped me home again. We managed a hug but that's as far as it went. I don't know if it's us being socially awkward, or me being afraid of men, but I can't bring myself yet to be so bold as to kiss him. Argh!

Congrats!

Good for you two! Hope your first date gose well, Best of luck