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Again relative to other guys your age, how satisfied would you consider be with being "just friends" in relation to being sexually involved with a girl?
Compared to other guys, I am more likely to pursue girls as friends rather than sex partners. 52%  52%  [ 13 ]
Compared to other guys, I am less likely to pursue girls as friends rather than sex partners. 20%  20%  [ 5 ]
I see girls as sex partners, but want to be friends first. 24%  24%  [ 6 ]
I have observed no difference relative to other guys. 4%  4%  [ 1 ]
Total votes : 25

biostructure
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21 Feb 2007, 10:31 pm

Here's the last of my questions for guys. Remember to answer based on what you would want your interactions with females to be ideally, not how they actually end up.



Tanz
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22 Feb 2007, 12:09 am

Again, I probably skew these results: I don't like guys enough to want to hang out with them, except for certain ones who share some interests with me. Given a choice, I would rather have all women friends than all male friends. I simply get along better with them and don't really like a lot of typical guy things, nor do I like the way most guys talk about women and how they treat them when it's just guys around.

I do not view women as sexual objects, and most don't attract me, but of those that I find attactive and would want to have as a sex partner, I'd rather start as friends. In my opinion, marriage, or any relationship leading upto it, is a partnership, and I want a woman who is independent enough to have her own life and interests, and yet passionate enough to share some of her interests with me, while respecting my right to have private time as well. In short, a true partnership of equals, with time divided equitably between solo and shared pursuits.

My last girlfriend understood this, but no one else has; I just wish we'd known about AS back then, we might still be together.


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Gamester
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22 Feb 2007, 3:22 am

I'm gonna say what Tanz said, because basically he's saying what I'd be saying....sorta.

I'd have to answer number one, adn I'm not sure if he did or not. But I'm better at being friends with them, and I'd rather not have sex with a girl, because it might lead to akwardity betwixt the two of us. And most of my friends who are female, I value their freindship.

I can say that if I were presented with the desire for said female to have sex with me, I wouldn't turn her down, but I'd take it carefully and slowly, showing her that I do care and want her to be okay with where we go.

Thats the thing I do dislike, is girls who do enter into a sexual relatinoship with a guy who then control it, forcing the girl to do them, and at times when a girl may not want to. control, especially in a relatinoship such as that is important.


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azsxdc
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22 Feb 2007, 7:00 am

Tanz wrote:
Again, I probably skew these results: I don't like guys enough to want to hang out with them, except for certain ones who share some interests with me. Given a choice, I would rather have all women friends than all male friends. I simply get along better with them and don't really like a lot of typical guy things, nor do I like the way most guys talk about women and how they treat them when it's just guys around.

I do not view women as sexual objects, and most don't attract me, but of those that I find attactive and would want to have as a sex partner, I'd rather start as friends. In my opinion, marriage, or any relationship leading upto it, is a partnership, and I want a woman who is independent enough to have her own life and interests, and yet passionate enough to share some of her interests with me, while respecting my right to have private time as well. In short, a true partnership of equals, with time divided equitably between solo and shared pursuits.

My last girlfriend understood this, but no one else has; I just wish we'd known about AS back then, we might still be together.

Wow, that's pretty much exactly how I feel! Just I've never had a gf before. :P
What can I say? What he said? :P



larsenjw92286
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22 Feb 2007, 4:05 pm

I see girls as friends because I always think that I don't want to pursue a strong relationship with anyone at first sight.


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22 Feb 2007, 5:15 pm

The problem with these questions is that you assume we have an idea of how other guys compare on these attitudes when in fact I have no clue. I have neither male nor female friends.



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22 Feb 2007, 5:17 pm

By the way, if I were pursuing a woman romantically and she wanted to be "just friends," chances are I'd cut her off and reinvest my time and energy on other women.



biostructure
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22 Feb 2007, 10:16 pm

Thanks to those who have answered these polls so far. It seems like I am generally in the minority. My answers are

1) I seem to value commitment less than other guys my age
2) I tend to value physical attractiveness about the same amount
3) I seem more likely to associate traits with particular genders (at least certain traits, relative to "modern" guys, though much of that probably has to do with gender stereotyping being politically incorrect at this time)
4) I am significantly less likely to pursue girls as friends rather than sexual/romantic partners than other guys, it seems. I can't actually remember ever purposely trying to become friends with a girl--it was always the girl taking the initiative unless I was attracted to her. It's not that I don't want friends at all--in fact with guys I have been the one to push for the friendship at least half the time.

For those of you who say you can't answer because you are virgins--I am too. I have in fact never dated, but I still have things I value in the opposite sex and things I would want to do if I could find a girl interested in me.



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22 Feb 2007, 10:48 pm

i really dont think guys and girls can be friends withought sex getting in the way, i havent had a alot of girls that were friends but for most of them sex was the last thing on there mind. i had a friend named chandra when i was a teenager and we hang out and stuff and all she wanted to do was watch tv and talk. alls i wanted to do was suck on her boobs and stuff. it just doesnt work


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23 Feb 2007, 11:04 pm

I am more likely to pursue members of the opposite gender my age as friends rather than sex partners because at my HS, sex is most likely the last thing on most NT girls' minds.

If she wanted to be friends with me, then I will respect her decision although I do not want to pursue a sexual relationship.