When does a woman owe you sex chart

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Nope, not even then. Although apparently in Texas you can shoot her if she doesn't give the money back.

you know, here's the thing I don't get.

I like sex a lot, and I've had some mindblowing lovers, and some crazy-bad lovers, and lovers who could not for the life of them keep it up long enough to get anywhere, and lovers who got abruptly shy and embarrassed and admitted that actually they hadn't wanted sex just then but were putting on a bit of bravado.

At no time -- no matter how sexually frustrated any of these guys left me -- did it even occur to me that they owed me anything. That it was up to them to "finish what they'd started". Because omg, what a horrifying and brutal thought that is. Also, I have a fully functional hand with which to get myself off, although it also never occurred to me to just forget they were in the room and get to it, because hello rude. I'd always ask if they minded, first. (Answer: sometimes, yes actually, it made them uncomfortable, so if they suggested leaving the room, I'd say that's okay, forget it.) Or just, you know, it's sexual frustration, not cancer, I can put my pants back on and go out, I lived.

So what the hell is this "rage at woman if she doesn't get you off when it looked like a sure thing" business that floats around in the culture? Blue balls, necessary for nobody.

And that is why for centuries men had the right to have sex with their wife, even if she refused, because she was deemed to have given her consent, once and for all, when they got married.

I am a 46 year old woman, living in Scotland, and I was old enough to be married when the law here eventually acknowledged that for a husband to have non-consensual sex with his wife was actually rape. Before that, it was technically impossible for a woman to be raped by her husband.

No, it's not more or less implied in marriage, and anyone who believes it is doesn't know much about marriage. People's sex drives wax and wane and vanish for long periods for all sorts of reasons. Anyone who's in it for the f***s should not be considering marriage.

Men, by the way, lose their sex drives too, and it's a common thing we don't talk enough about, because there's still women being surprised by this. My ex was all for sexytime when we got married, but the combination of stress and psych meds put him out of commission, longterm, pretty fast. Other men just...lose interest along the way. And no, they do not owe their wives sex. Ordinary couples working and raising kids also often go sexless for months at a time just because if they get to lie down, they're out cold in seconds; it's just an exhausting time of life.

If your hubby or wife isn't into it? Well, you can play solo, or, if having sex with other people is a big part of your life, you can talk to your spouse about opening the marriage. Honesty's essential there, though. I found out much too late that my ex had actually pushed his wife to go find a boyfriend (it turned out the collapse/psych-med thing was chronic with him), then was so shocked and wounded when she actually did it that he divorced her. She's been happily married to the other guy ever since, though.

Not a lot of people actually break up a marriage over lack of sex, because in the end other things turn out to be more important in a marriage.

I think that sex is somewhat owed in a marriage, by both the husband and the wife. I don't think it's owed at any time, for any reason, all the time, drop of a hat, the wind is blowing thing, but unless one partner has a physical problem with sex that makes it uncomfortable, then I think it's wrong to constantly deny the other person. I've been married 27 years and had a lot of sex with my husband. e don't do it very often now, but that's because we are both 50 and he's having trouble getting it up and I just don't care that much about sex right now cause of menopause. However, there are times that I've had sex with him when I wasn't interested in it, and when he's had it with me when he wasn't interested in it, and there were times that both of us have told the other one no. It's not going to kill me or hurt me in any way to screw my husband when I'm not horny and he is. In fact, it doesn't even have to last very long cause I can just throw it into overdrive and get it over with in ten minutes and he's satisfied and goes to sleep.

I don't think anybody owes sex for a date though, or for being in a relationship that isn't long term, committed, etc. I lump living together in with being married too.

Sex is just sex, it's not like you are giving somebody a kidney.

There are places where prostitution is legal, you know.

On the other hand, according to your remark, it?d seem there?s nothing in Texas legally stopping the client from demanding that the prostitute give him back his money even if he?s actually had sex with her?or else he?ll shoot her. Unless there were witnesses, he can easily deny it, and, considering the whole activity was illegal in the first place, I don?t know if it even matters. I suppose it?s a good way to make prostitution as dangerous as possible

That's what I say too, but unfortunately many people are doing so. (Not only for the f***s but as an important part.)

I don't know Texas law but I'm pretty sure that would just be considered murder, as it cannot be considered self-defense in any way. And to ask his money back in a legal way he would have to prove that he gave her that money in the first place, and that she didn't provide the service she promised.

Ah another man hating thread.

Yes, that's right, McStudly. "Married folks don't get to demand sex" is basically misandry.

There was a case a in Texas few months ago; the guy got off clean. Apparently the judge decided it was stand-your-ground territory because the hooker was robbing him.

Yup.

So, if you're horny and she's not, that's equivalent believing that she "owes" it to you? If you've got a higher sex drive than her and feeling frustrated by the lack of sex in your relationship (but not demanding it from her, which is a different issue), then does that mean that you're feeling "entitled"? You know, I find it quite unfair to label all men who've done nothing at all except simply feel frustrated that their sexual needs aren't being met in a relationship (not even to the point of demanding sex from their wives or girlfriends), when I know that there are a lot of women who would leave a relationship for that reason.

Even a prostitute doesn't "owe" anyone sex if she refuses to accept payment and/or gives the money back.

Aside from that obvious commercial setting, sex should not be a transaction - i.e., given in exchange for something the other person has provided. It should be engaged in when both parties are willing and when, hopefully, it will be enjoyable for both.

If one party is expecting something in return for sex (other than enjoyable sex), there's something off-kilter with the relationship. And there's absolutely no reason that either party involved should not be able to say "sorry, just not feeling it right now." If that becomes an ongoing pattern, however, there is likely some underlying cause, either psychological or physiological.

Having similar sexual needs can be important in choosing a partner. OTOH, there will be times when even the most sexually compatible people in the world will have off days (or weeks, or months). My ex-husband and I had sex once or twice a year the last 6-7 years we were married (his choice, not mine). Even at the beginning of our marriage, he only wanted sex once or twice a month (had I known he was so uninterested, I probably wouldn't have married him). In contrast, my late fiance and I never went more than a couple of days without having sex, which was a mutual agreement, something we actually discussed.

I don't hate men at all.I'm rather fond of them.

No, I didn't say that at all.



No, I didn't say that, either.



1. It would be unfair -- if someone had said that sexual frustration is the same thing as demanding sex from someone else. But nobody has said that. Or implied that.
2. I believe we've already covered the point that men don't owe women sex, either.

tarantella64, you didn't say these thins, I don't know why Jono quoted you. The originally linked article implied these things.