When does a woman owe you sex chart

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tarantella64
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29 Jul 2014, 9:27 pm

Yes, I'm sure that by "frigid cow" that one guy meant he was inviting me to sample the choice cuts in his meat freezer in the garage.

Oh, wait, he didn't have a meat freezer. Or a garage.



AspieOtaku
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30 Jul 2014, 4:44 am

I dated a woman for 3 months and on the third month after she took me to her apartment she all of a sudden took off her clothes and offered to have sex with me and I panicked and declined her offer the relationship ended afterwards.


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SabbraCadabra
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30 Jul 2014, 3:41 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
Same applies to men. They don't owe you sh** for being "hot" when it comes to a dinner bill.


That's more of a "social custom", really, to have the guy pay for dinner, regardless of whether or not the girl is "hot". At least in America it is, I don't know about New Zealand.

Though it is starting to change, depending on the girl, she might be totally cool with "going Dutch" and paying for her own meal, or going 50/50...but I don't think she'd be very happy with paying for the guy's meal.


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Sweetleaf
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31 Jul 2014, 10:47 am

What the hell is a sex chart exactly? and probably never.....


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AngelRho
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31 Jul 2014, 3:14 pm

SabbraCadabra wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
Same applies to men. They don't owe you sh** for being "hot" when it comes to a dinner bill.


That's more of a "social custom", really, to have the guy pay for dinner, regardless of whether or not the girl is "hot". At least in America it is, I don't know about New Zealand.

Though it is starting to change, depending on the girl, she might be totally cool with "going Dutch" and paying for her own meal, or going 50/50...but I don't think she'd be very happy with paying for the guy's meal.

Don't think of it as a "social custom." Accept it as a gift. If I bought you dinner, it's my way of saying "thank you" for good company and allowing me briefly into your presence and the opportunity to get to know you better.

For me, I'd let the company of a female friend be sufficient as a gift in and of itself. If a woman happens to be interested in making love later, that's up to her. I look at sex as two people giving themselves as a gift, so nothing else is required in return afterwards. Although if you prefer to let me stay the night, I'll make you breakfast!

Guys who do the whole "you owe me" thing for a date simply lack respect for other people. I'd guess they're jerks to everyone, not just women.



SabbraCadabra
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31 Jul 2014, 8:43 pm

AngelRho wrote:
Don't think of it as a "social custom." Accept it as a gift. If I bought you dinner, it's my way of saying "thank you" for good company and allowing me briefly into your presence and the opportunity to get to know you better.


So if it's not a social custom, then what is stopping the woman from being the one who pays for dinner?


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tarantella64
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31 Jul 2014, 9:31 pm

SabbraCadabra wrote:
AngelRho wrote:
Don't think of it as a "social custom." Accept it as a gift. If I bought you dinner, it's my way of saying "thank you" for good company and allowing me briefly into your presence and the opportunity to get to know you better.


So if it's not a social custom, then what is stopping the woman from being the one who pays for dinner?


Nothing. Sometimes she is.



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31 Jul 2014, 11:27 pm

SabbraCadabra wrote:
AngelRho wrote:
Don't think of it as a "social custom." Accept it as a gift. If I bought you dinner, it's my way of saying "thank you" for good company and allowing me briefly into your presence and the opportunity to get to know you better.


So if it's not a social custom, then what is stopping the woman from being the one who pays for dinner?


I don't get this having someone paying for food for you thing. It's probably because I'm not obsessed with food. Getting free food is not a big deal to me at all. Having a great conversation with someone I can relate to would be more exciting than any greasy American restaurant food. So I'd be glad to buy dinner for someone I can have great conversation with and I actually have done that in the past.



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02 Aug 2014, 5:22 pm

AspieOtaku wrote:
I dated a woman for 3 months and on the third month after she took me to her apartment she all of a sudden took off her clothes and offered to have sex with me and I panicked and declined her offer the relationship ended afterwards.


I met a girl once on a friday, and went on a second date with her the very same saturday. She was aware of my diagnosis, and the first thing she said when we entered her apartment afterwards was "let's go to bed". If only all girls were that blunt. :)


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AngelRho
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02 Aug 2014, 6:38 pm

tarantella64 wrote:
SabbraCadabra wrote:
AngelRho wrote:
Don't think of it as a "social custom." Accept it as a gift. If I bought you dinner, it's my way of saying "thank you" for good company and allowing me briefly into your presence and the opportunity to get to know you better.


So if it's not a social custom, then what is stopping the woman from being the one who pays for dinner?


Nothing. Sometimes she is.

Bingo. If I offer you a gift, it would be gracious of you to simply accept it. You have the right to refuse.

I'd more likely ask myself if I'm really interested in someone who doesn't know how to accept a gift, or for whom a gift from me isn't good enough for her, or it is beneath her to accept it. That says a lot about a person--not that this person is a total b!tch, but more about how compatible we'd be. Accepting a gift from me is also accepting an opportunity to let me get to know you better, and I'd take that as a sign of rejection.

If paying for a date means that much to you, you could always steal the initiative and ask ME out! I probably wouldn't turn you down. If I'm not asking you out, it's likely I don't think you're interested, haven't noticed you, or I'm just flat broke until payday.

I'm cool with going Dutch, too, but it takes away the opportunity to do something nice for someone. I prefer doing the buying, no strings attached. But that's entirely a personal preference, and I explained that earlier. The best reward next to the time spent in her company is being allowed the pleasure of picking up the bill. If she doesn't accept the gift after I've offered it, I might think she doesn't really appreciate my company that much and suspect we aren't going to be compatible.

If we're already well acquainted and good friends, fighting over the bill is just good sport. But if I don't know you and I'm taking up your time, at least give me the chance to do something nice for you. If all I did was waste your time and you'd rather not see me again, at least you got a good dinner/movie/roller skating/bowling trip out of it and it's not a TOTAL loss.



AngelRho
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02 Aug 2014, 7:00 pm

Yuzu wrote:
SabbraCadabra wrote:
AngelRho wrote:
Don't think of it as a "social custom." Accept it as a gift. If I bought you dinner, it's my way of saying "thank you" for good company and allowing me briefly into your presence and the opportunity to get to know you better.


So if it's not a social custom, then what is stopping the woman from being the one who pays for dinner?


I don't get this having someone paying for food for you thing. It's probably because I'm not obsessed with food. Getting free food is not a big deal to me at all. Having a great conversation with someone I can relate to would be more exciting than any greasy American restaurant food. So I'd be glad to buy dinner for someone I can have great conversation with and I actually have done that in the past.

People don't go to dinner to actually eat. It's just an excuse to hang out and have conversation. Taking a bite of food forces you to shut up and actually listen to what someone has to say. When the other person takes a bite, you can speak freely without fear of interruption. A dinner date is a fail when the food is better than the conversation. The best restaurants understand this, and food service itself is as much a conversation piece as it is edible. They sacrifice portion size for presentation and because the dish isn't yummy after it goes cold. Smaller portions survive longer conversations better and keep high quality over the course of the meal. And if you don't like the conversation, just take another bite. A dinner date who obsesses over the food on his/her plate isn't interested in you and probably doesn't deserve another date with you.

That's what separates fine establishments from greasy American food. You only take someone to Pizza Hut because you're hungry and you don't want to cook. That's why I only take my family out for Mexican MAYBE once a month. It may be cheap, but it's not worth it even for that amount of money. We like the food, and someone else is serving it. We actually go to eat. If you are two single people out on a date, you really don't want to do that.

I LOVE movies. Movies are easier dates than dinner. But they are terrible dates for actually trying to get to know someone. It's just a way to be physically a little more intimate with someone you already know and enjoy some entertainment together.

If you want to go out with me for a good laugh, go bowling. I can't hit pins even with the bumpers up. I could do rollerskating or ice skating for hours...



tarantella64
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02 Aug 2014, 8:40 pm

AngelRho...you've kinda made the paying-for-dinner thing all about you, there.



AngelRho
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02 Aug 2014, 10:59 pm

tarantella64 wrote:
AngelRho...you've kinda made the paying-for-dinner thing all about you, there.

What? The last bit? I just meant there are more things to do than greasy American food and movies where you sit in a dark room and don't say a word to each other. Those are things I happen to enjoy that could potentially be common interests. I'm really not picky.

But, hey, if someone picks me up instead of the other way around, why can't paying for dinner be about me? I'm a valuable person, too, dammit! Make me a sammitch!

:lol:



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03 Aug 2014, 3:57 am

When I look at her.


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