Is this a good way to ask a girl out?

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Next Sunday I am going to ask a girl at church out. As of now my plan is roughly something like this:

I will be sitting on a bench waiting for her to walk by. When she does I'm going to ask her to sit next to me for a minute so I can talk to her. First I'm going to ask her if she told her parents about me (They don't go to church with her). Then im going to say I like her... a lot, and if she likes me back. Assuming she says yes (because she probably does.) I'm just going to say "do you want to be my girlfriend?" And hope she agrees.

Reasons I am pretty sure she likes me

-She always says hi, not just the first time she sees me, but everytime. She also waves goodbye to me from her bus until we're out of sight of each other

-I made a drawing for her and put a heart on it, and she liked it.

-she let me take a picture of her.

-she doesn't mind me hugging her.

-She shares her treats she got from her class with me.

-I have complimented her several times on her looks, which she also doesn't seem to mind.

Suggestions, comments, and questions are fully free to be asked, but the main thing I want to know is if this is a good way to do it or not.

i think you've got the cart before the horse. go out on a few dates before you ask her to go steady.

Yep, agree. Is there a movie she might want to go see? Or maybe she'd like to go play some frisbee or get some ice cream? If so, you do that, then if you've had a good time, ask if she'd like to do something again.

Take her on a few coffee dates.
Cheap, and sparks conversation!

Yes to all the above suggestions. So instead of saying, "Do you want to be my girlfriend?" say, "Would you like to go on a date?" What do teens do for dates now? When I was 15, we went on group dates to movie matinees, then we would walk over to a chain restaurant for dinner. Our parents would drop off and pick up.

So ? uhm ? isn?t anyone going to tell him he should suppress his crush and not even think again of dating till he is much, much older?

i dated when i was 15 and i turned out fine.

If he wants to date at 15, he should be able to. There's no magic age above the age of 13 when kids should start dating.

No, because that would be the typical, boring answer lame adults give that I obviously won't listen to. That might be why nobody will.

Yeah I agree with the general sentiment on here. You should definitely tell her that you like her, it's best to be clear and if you've gone out there and said it it gives her the chance to say it without wondering if you feel the same. I also agree that saying do you want to be my girlfriend is a bit strong and that you should just say do you want to go on a date.

I really love the initial post here. So detailed and planned-out. Unfortunately, this usually doesn't work too well. Wish it would, but it typically doesn't. The usual problem with such planning is that the other part will be totally unprepared. Thus, if both parties are Aspies, one of them will be extremely well prepared and the other unprepared, which usually will be a bad idea.

Before attempting to do something like this try to reverse the roles. What about if this girl did this to you, having a detailed future plan with you, and you had no idea and got this as a total surprise, and then asked you to accept it instantly.

I know how I react., I get totally blocked and unable to say anything.

Last edited by rdos on 30 Jun 2014, 7:00 am, edited 1 time in total.

It's normal for teens to date and it's pretty good as long it's not too early and they aren't having sex and getting pregnant.

I think it's very beneficial for maturing into adult life - in fact in a poll was done once here the ones who started dating since teen phase were the ones who had successful relationships the most as adults, it is an important transitional period.

Something that I didn't have.

So, by preventing you from dating at 15, you?d have been prevented from having a point to support it.



I wish I had been able to afford such an attitude at your age. I hope you don?t mind me quoting your reply in the thread next door for someone who doesn?t seem to have made up her mind so strongly.



Oh, but you shouldn?t do it because of peer pressure, should you? So just because something is normal doesn?t mean you should do it, let alone be allowed to do it.



How early is too early? The only way to err on the side of caution is to wait till it is ridiculously late, or simply to let your whole life slip by without ever having that experience. Especially never having the experience of doing it while you?re young.



Oh, but that?s pretty much normal these days, too. Besides, why let teens date if you don?t want them to have sex? That?s just playing with fire. Don?t let them ever meet someone of the opposite sex and you can rest assured they won?t have sex, at least not the kind of sex that leads to pregnancies.



No need to convince me about that. I?m sort of playing devil?s advocate for the following reasons:

1) It seems pretty clear that preventing teens from having sex is one of the top priorities of most parents, and sometimes that extends to preventing them from dating for about as long as possible. More often than not, this seems to trump any regard for the possible benefits of dating.

2) I have observed that some people do receive advice on dating at a pretty young age, without anyone suggesting that they should refrain from such an activity, while others are sternly reprimanded for wanting to do it and told the proper age is much, much later. The latter tend also to be those who are already in a harder position to meet someone they might eventually date. What baffles me the most is that people participating in one of those kinds of exchanges behave as though they were completely unaware of the existence of the other.

Yep, I know this is a grossly uneducated aspie observation.



Me neither. To me, getting to understand some things about dating is like learning, after the game is over, about the plethora of secrets you missed when you were still playing it.

What on earth?

It's perfectly healthy to date at 15. It's also perfectly healthy not to date at 15. Doesn't matter. Modernmax knows a girl he likes who might like him back. They might go on a date. They might go on several dates. No problem.

If it makes Spiderpig feel any better, I'll do the grown-up PSA.

Modernmax, don't have sex with this girl. There's plenty of time for that later. And you know what? The more time you spend on the basics (like kissing), the better you'll get at them. Then, by the time you're ready for safe, sane, and consensual sex, you'll be able to impress your honey with your awesome basic techniques. They matter.

Sex at 15 bad. Kissing at 15 good.

Yeah...dating at 15, fine and expected. We ancients also know, believe it or not, that the kids are going to experiment, if not plain old f**k. It's why we bother teaching them about sex even though they're hideously uncomfortable hearing about it and go MOOOOOM uggghh do you have to talk about that. And why we leave books on their beds and otherwise make them want to jump out of their own skins with embarrassment, even though they read the books in secret. Also why we tell them to please come to us with questions, rather than asking their moron friends, who will tell them things that are true of no mammal on this planet. Many of us also teach the kids about contraception, and buy it for them, so we don't have babies having babies.

A lot of us actually remember 15 pretty well and want the kids to have a good time. Just not so good we have another 20 years' worth of childrearing on our hands.

i dated when i was 15 had awesome sex and learned alot about woman and myself so i'd go for it and ask her on a date anything you could imagine a girl would find fun and you'd both be comfortable doing would be fine. like drawing or having lunch bowling swimming mountain climbing or maybe just having a teadaze in the park. i'm not sure if a teadaze exists but it should be fun. and maybe ask her out on a date first you don't want to be selling fur until jou've shot a bear. if that to much of a strech for explaining is i mean to say there is a chance she wants to know how you act and want you to get to know how she feels about stuff and acts before she want anything serious.

and last but not least asking a girl out is asking a girl if she want to go out on a date asking her to be you girlfriend is kinda weird if you ask me because she is already a girl and a friend yet in your terminology it'l probably be suficient yet it may be too soon as stated before.