So... I have a strange question. and it us long.

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For starters, please forgive my bad spelling and grammar; I am typing this on my tiny little phone.
Well. As a general background to the windup towards my question...
I am an 18 year old semi-self-diagnosed Aspie aboutto go into senior year. Semi-self-diagnosed mostly because i am afraid of what my parents would say if i had proof. A few councilors from my school also think I have aspergers.
So... I have never really talked to many people. I have my like three or four friends, ya know? A lot of peole call me 'rude' or 'unaproachable' but I don't really know exactly why. I'm pretty smart, if extremely bored by the school system. I was the only student in my grade to score 99 on the ASVAB. But my grades are below average. But I digress, sorry.
Needless to say I have had very very very limited contact with females.
A while ago (over 2 years, now; before I even knew what aspergers was) I met this girl that was so...different. She kinda scared me at first (big surprise, huh?) She was a year younger than me. We both belonged to a club (Knowledge Bowl; it's like competetive team-based trivia) And I'd sit by her but we wouldn't talk. She was really smart. Like, knew-more-useless -trivia-than-me smart, which is hard to do. One day I just...found myself in a conversation with her. And she made me LAUGH. Th at is a big deal. People have known me for years and never seen me even smile.
After that we'd wave to eachother when we passed in the hall.
She was also in speech and drama, so I gave it a try. Oh god so scary. So scary. But ivs been in it for a couple years now. It was there that I found out she has aspergers.
That just like blew my mind.
Let me try to explain... she's an artist. She does claymation and painting and stuff. She's an actor; in almost every school play. She semed so...outgoing. and she kinda is.
But she goes through so much. She has panic and anxiety attacks. Sometimes she faints. She did at one speech meet and came close at another. Shes on antidepressants. She just....has some problems. But she always smiles. And skips. And tells stories.
She's just so awesome. and different. I sound like a broken record, sorry.
This last school year we started pacing together and talking before classes started. I walked with her between classes and to and from lunch. I was late to a few of ny own classes, actually.
I asked ger once " what would you say if a guy asked you out?" And she said that shed say no because she doesn't want something like that going on in highschool. Which is alright, ya know, I understood her reasoning.
But I asked her to s homecoming dance. And she said yeah. And it was awesome. I never ever thought I would go to one of those. We paced all night and talked and her friends made us slow dance (which I was a bit uncomfortable with but didn't mind. She seemed really unnerved though so I didnt mention doing it again.) Then we made a game of escaping her friends during slow songs. XD
We got seemingly closer and closer over the rest of the year.
And I asked her to prom and she said yes again. And I think we had a good time.
But now it's summer and I never see her. And I miss her more than I ever thought I would miss anybody.
A few weeks ago she emailed me a pictur from the Tumbler wuth th ed message "this reminded me of you"
But I had no way to respond. So I joined the tumblr and followed her. Then sent a message after the requisite two week waiting period. She replied a cou ple days lated and then I replied back and th en she...stopped replying. I waited a while. Then sent another message or two. No response. I know she was online because she keeps postong pics on her Tumblr.
So now I don't know what to do.
I think she iz ignoring me but I am not sure...i think I creeped her out a bit...
Im also coming up on my last year of high school. ..and I will probably never ever see her when I finish. So would it be better to just...lose contact now? I don't want to upset or hurt her at all, but I don't even know if that would upset her. Besides...I th ink I am holding her back...
All I know is that I miss seeing her smile and hearing her laugh and walking with her.
What shiuld I do? Can anyone here help me?
Im so sorry this is so long....

-JaryT

Be blunt: tell her you miss her and you get the feeling she is ignoring you. Ask her if you did anything wrong. Tell her you miss seeing her smile. Actually, just tell her, in your own words, a lot of what you said here. Be sure to say that you felt you were getting close and it felt good to have a friendship like that.

Thanks for the reply.
I don't think....I COULD say that to her. I think even if I had a chance, I would choke.
And I don't know everything.... i don't want to upset her by saying something like if she is having a tough summer or something....being blunt could end horribly...
And I am afraid of getting a reply.
Sorry if this seemed rude...I am very emotional right now XD
Thanks for the input, though.

JaryT

It's no problem. When I was in high school, though, I wanted to say this to a few people. I never did. I'm just afraid you will regret it. It's not as if you two are exactly talking now, right? It's almost like "What have you got to lose?"

I... see your point.

Also, consider the less you have contact with her over time, the less close you are. If you had to choose the best time to rekindle a relationship before it gets awkward, it's now! I really, really hope she misses you too!

I...doubt she misses me. I'm not particularly interesting or fun.

You will never know unless you ask her. Good luck.

True. But sometimes I wonder if not knowing is better. ..
Thanks for the vote of luck though XD
Next problem.....no reliable way to contact her....

On a side note. (Im trying to distract myself)
Is your screen name in reference to Catch 22, major?

Regret is a feeling that is everlasting; I think knowing is better than not knowing. You should ask her if she wants to come hang out with you. Plan an activity; go to the park, go to the beach, think of something that would be fun to do together. If you can, try to tell her how you feel in person or maybe in some form of message. Doing it in person might be difficult but it's really the best way. It may hurt if she rejects you, but the pain doesn't last; sitting around, doing nothing and worrying about possible outcomes hurts more because it's like a wound that can never heal.

Allow me to inject some personal anecdotes...

When I was 18, there was a girl I liked. I hadn't made my feelings known so I wanted to ask her on a date. I texted her this but she refused, and while yes it hurt, I felt it was better than not knowing. I've had another situation in which I liked a girl and couldn't muster the courage to say anything to her. That regret has stuck with me and will for some time.

Don't depreciate yourself, you ARE a great guy and you ARE interesting. Believing this eventually makes it true and people can tell. You have a good opportunity and I think you should take it. The best things in life are often hard or risky.

Double post woops...

I see your points....
And I am sorry for tge followibg; I recognize that me bringing up unknown points seems argumentatove and is not acceptable in society....but that is the first urge I get...
Ahem. I concede that regret is everlasting...but I would regret accidentally driving her away. ..
Secondly....we are both absolutely horrendous at planning. .. myself especially so. ..
Yhird....neither of us can drive....and we live like an hour away from eachother, so asking in person is impossible. ..
And she has ignored all message types i can send....
I see and recognize the point og your anecdote.
And..... I would say thst you have never met me. All of my fes friends admit that I am rather...dry....with an astoundingly sterile sense of humor with few to none redeeming qualities. Well, except for one; and that friend is nuts <. < Everyone ekse thinks I am an insane madman that woukd sooner slaughter them than give the time of day. <. < <. <
After closer examination, it appears you were not gauging me, but attempting to show how self-confidence and positive thinking can affect an outcome. My apologies if tght is the case. But I am rather pessimistic. ..
Again, my deepest apologues if this is stand-offish or rude. This type of dissection and argument helps me to reason.
And I see and accept your points. Perhaps I shall attempt a phone call, though phones make me uneasy...
Thank you gor your time, and plwase forgive my spelling and grammar. Horribly tiny screen...

I think we are hanging out on Wednesday.

Don't say sorry for anything. You didn't come off as rude and you just seemed to be thinking out loud.

I'm glad you may be hanging out! I'm SO HAPPY. Let me know how it goes or when it is for sure that you will be hanging out!! ! Don't forget to tell her you miss her!! !! !

Thanks. I'll let ya know