He wants an open relationship

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When I met my current boyfriend, he was a virgin and I had a moderate amount of experience.

We've been together for a while now and I couldn't tell that something was wrong until suddenly he tells me that he needs to have an open relationship because he wants to see what other people are like. He wants to commit to me for the long term but wants to see other people on the side, like a 'friends with benefits' thing.

I'm hesitant about it because I can feel very jealous, especially because the people I've dated before made me feel bad about my looks and abilities But I like being with him and I want him to be happy. When I make a pros and cons list, the pros are much more than the cons.

I'm also worried that because of my Asperger's, with the awkwardness and social anxiety, I won't be able to find anyone to be with, and he's very tall and good looking and charming so I'm sure he won't have any trouble. That would make me really sad.

Does anyone have any advice?

Tell him friends yes, but no sex unless he can commit with you. if he refuses then dump him, in the end you do not want to be left holding the proverbial bag with a broken heart (let alone the possibility of unwanted children or sexual diseases). the only thing you just told me is that he does not respect you and wants a screw buddy till he finds someone else to fancy or take your place. I knew a couple guys who done that allot, string the women along so they can always have a girl on the side, generally having more then one on the side they never tell you about, telling you just what you need to hear so to get their way with you. playing you.

I would say that the idea of an open relationship is unreasonable, even if both members of a couple want one it is likely to end badly.

Point out that it is possible to enjoy sex / affection / company of the same person for the rest of your life, I been together with my wife for over ten years and I still fancy her big time. Since the start I have not had or shown an interest in other women. I would say that while a couple should be willing to try new things together in the pursuit of "fun" it is important that you do not do stuff which you feel uncomfortable with just to keep him happy.

Talk to him, is he thinking that he is missing out on something ? I would point out that sleeping around is a good shortcut to a lonely state where in some years time he is stuck on his own when his good looks have faded.

If he is cheating or refusing to be exclusive then leave him.

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Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

open relationship is a big no, once some one offers it. Its time to reevaluate what both of you want from each other.

That to me reads he wants to experience sex with other girls before committing. In other words, he is not going to commit to you and merely wants to keep you on the sidelines for now while he enjoys himself.

Part of me understands his reasoning but ultimately what he is asking of you is wrong. Dump him, move on.

Get someone who is fully willing to commit to you.

I see it like this.

You are only in a relationship, not a marriage. He wants to date other people also. That means he is not committed to you.

If it was me, and we were living together I would say fine, but then move out or have him move out depending on who's place it was to begin with. You might still see each other/date, but the relationship has definitely taken a big step backwards, and one that normally is not reversible.

But better to find out now, then later.

I have a feeling that it will turn out far better for you if you agree than it would for him. Someone posted a reddit link in a here a while back (I think it was here that it was posted) where the guy thought he could get some action on the side in the open relationship only to see the girl get action elsewhere instead.

Not in anyway saying that is what is going to happen, but you never know.

Pros: None
Cons: Everything

It's a pretty tough decision

STD Alert.

Why is everyone so much against open relationships? If both of you are fine with the idea, then I see nothing wrong it and at least that way you can be open and honest with each other about the other people that you sleep with. Some people are just polyamorous and still have standards of commitment towards their main partner, they just agree to some ground rules if you are going to sleep with other people. If on the other hand, you're not comfortable with the idea of an open relationship then it's probably better not to have an open relationship.

Remember, an open relationship means that you are then allowed to have sex with other men too. In a way, it's an agreement to allow him to sleep with other women if he allows you to sleep with men.

My ex was less experienced than me and felt he 'wanted to get his number up' and went on about it a lot and on about wanting other women and more experience and he still goes on about it now (5 yrs later) and how I wasted his life where he could have been seeing other people, even though we are split up he still goes on about it when I take our kids to see him.

The lesson I take from my experience is that if someone has an issue with their lack of prior experience they will continue to have an issue which can be stressful and make one feel bad and I would avoid such people in future.

http://www.mensfitness.com/women/dating-advice/do-open-relationships-work

Open relationships only work if both people want it. If one does, and one doesn't, it is automatic incompatibility. OP says she doesn't want it. She should give him his walking papers.

Personally, I would never consider an open relationship. If I'm attracted to someone enough to have sex with him, I am automatically not attracted to anyone else enough to have sex. Some people are naturally monogamous; some are not.