Women possibly ARE interested, but you can't see it?

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See the bold above.

As long you are no more teen and adult enough, in one way or another you will know - and no, you don't need to read body language.

One thing I've learned about all this: Whenever you second guess whether a girl like you or not; then most probably she doesn't. A girl's behavior who really likes you, would eventually leave a very tiny doubt of second guessing.

I kissed my (now) husband after two dates. He says he had no idea I liked him up to that point, despite my spending hours giggling and smiling at everything he said like a silly schoolgirl. He maintains that he'd never have made a move if I hadn't.

Oh come on, *two* dates (no girl would date a guy she doesn't like twice), giggling and smiling...etc

Your husband was playing the fool.

He probably means that he didn't expect that you loved/liked him that much.

But to claim that he didn't expect that you have any kind of attraction toward him after two dates and all this giggling and smiling is exaggeration.

I had someone tell me that she had no attraction to me after 5 dates, one of which she even told me was one of the best she'd ever been on

Look Boo, if you read what I have written so far in this thread you will see I have evidence to back up my claim. People I know in the real world, they are telling me that no-one or almost no-one is interested in them. These are people who could potentially have written any of the posts in this sub-forum where they say they just can't get any action. It's the same language. What I read on here, I hear from these friends of mine. And these friends of mine are far from undateable. The main thing preventing their success is their attitude, after that it's their approach.

I'm well aware that my own current experience is quite different to the current experiences of the people who are "losing hope they will ever find someone". I am fairly good at reading signals (from males; I tend to find females much harder to read), after having struggled in the past with it and being a slow starter in the dating world compared to my peers. If this type of standpoint and experience means I'm less qualified to give insight, support, advice, etc. to people who are still struggling, then it seems you are saying it's better to "let the blind lead the blind". I strongly disagree with that notion. Wouldn't you rather get tips and ideas from someone like Geekonychus who has been successful, perhaps due to finding a different way of seeing things, or trying different things, than from people who feel the same way as you do and so will simply reinforce your negative ideas and never help you move forward? I know which one I would prefer.

Now I'm also aware that I didn't give any advice in this thread. It was an insight thread. A "food for thought" type thread. And you are welcome to disagree and say that you think that people who claim nobody is interested are definitely correct, because if anyone was interested they would definitely know about it. That's your viewpoint based on your experience. But when I give evidence to the contrary (and others in this thread also have), isn't that worth considering, rather than automatically dismissing because it came from someone who does date?

I mean aren't we here to try to help people NOT "die virgin or have little love experience"?

not always true theres people who are just super super over friendly who do all these things just to be friendly. found that out the hard way.



Idk even if a girl kissed me I don't think i'd think she was attracted to me. theres a lot of other possible reasons for it.
giggling and smiling would make me feel more attracted to them though, I wouldn't show it.

I do this. I know not to be caught looking at women. they probably think its creepy. I also don't show smiles when i'm happy or find a lady pretty anymore.

was this one lady who I caught staring at me walking away or she caught me >.<

but most of the time I see their head start turning so I look a the floor or something near by.

I find you compatible on what I've seen from you hear, though what two people find compatible can be a big gap. But if I lived close I'd be that ugly guy you don't notice looking at you

Or at the opposite end, some women don't do any of those things until they are actually in a relationship (or at least solidly dating), and hopefully by then it is clear that she is interested

yeah don't imagine the girl you see at the grocery store each week would have your contact info.
had a coworker who kinda did this minus the activities on facebook and always went out of her way to greet me and say goodbye at work.

The main issue I have is not being able to read the signs.

I can't tell whether the girl is being flirty, friendly, fearful or making fun of me.

If I make moves towards somebody who is not interested then I risk embarrassment or worse. As part of my internal safety mechanism I would assume that they don't like me, avoiding embarrassment but missing out on (potential) pleasure.

I think this is very very very very common. I did it myself in the past.

If a guy asks me out, and I'm not romantically interested in him, it's still flattering and really not a big deal...but it is often a big deal for the person doing the asking. How do we combat this attitude?

My husband has poor self-esteem in regard to his appearance, and I was only the second girl he ever dated. I think he honestly thought I was just being friendly and polite to him.

sounds reasonable, better to think everthing is bad then think everything is good. less let downs. most people are just polite and friendly to others cause its expected.

I have to disagree there, on it being reasonable. Less short-term letdown perhaps, but eventually (if an interested female doesn't persist despite your efforts to ignore her) it becomes an attitude of "nobody likes me" which is what I'd like to see disappear. And you are letting down the females who are trying to win your affection, by dismissing them as just being friendly.

I'm thinking back on a not-so-distant circumstance where I fell head-over-heals for a guy (I don't know if he is aspie, but he's classically nerdy/geeky), but eventually I gave up because it seemed he wasn't interested in me even though I thought we were getting along great. I'm wondering now if he dismissed my behaviour as just friendly, even though I was trying to ask him on dates etc. Sure, I wasn't super forward, but I was much more forward than he was.