No one who is attracted to me is attractive to me

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DevilKisses
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04 Nov 2014, 3:39 pm

I've noticed that 99% of the people who are attracted to me are not attractive to me. The main reason is because most people who are attracted to me are guys. I'm not really attracted to guys. I made an account on okcupid and most of the girls that like me are weird looking or just don't catch my eye. I'm okay making friends with those people, but I have a hard time being friends with people who are attracted to me. I tried it once and it didn't work out at all.

Maybe I need to change the way I look or the way my lifestyle is. I can understand why the girls I'm attracted to don't like me. My hair sucks, I don't have a social life, I don't have a life, I live with my parents and I don't have a car. I also think most of the girls I'm attracted to aren't on okcupid. Okcupid seems to attract people who are boring and weird looking. I'm a bit boring so I guess I fit in.


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Cafeaulait
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04 Nov 2014, 4:36 pm

Aren't you giving the answer yourself? :D
It's not attractive not the have a (social) life. What do you like to do? What inspires you? Take up some hobbies or sports, join a club, start volunteering; anything that shows you are developing yourself as a person. It makes you interesting and therefore more high value to the other sex. It doesn't matter that you don't have a car or live with your parents, especially not at your age. It's just that like attracts like.
If you're not a Brad Pitt looks wise then you can't expect to attract the Angelina Jolies and Thandie Newtons (well, unless you have other things that compensate for that... but it sounds like you don't).
In short: make yourself a more of a valuable person and take a critical look at your standards. If your hair needs fixing, fix it! Voila.



Klowglas
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04 Nov 2014, 5:09 pm

Welcome to the pyramid of envy! The pretty people above you want the prettier ones above them; the ugly ones below you want the prettier ones above them. Everyone has their own little part to play in the pyramid of envy, Some people spend their entire lives chasing after the 'upgrade', never realizing that there will always be someone yet above that one, and on and on... What does that teach us? Stop emphasizing appearance so much, and while it is corny, value people for what's inside, yes maybe they're weird looking and maybe a bit boring, but I'll bet you a good portion of them would make the best sort of partner or friend you could ever have.



DevilKisses
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04 Nov 2014, 10:24 pm

Klowglas wrote:
Welcome to the pyramid of envy! The pretty people above you want the prettier ones above them; the ugly ones below you want the prettier ones above them. Everyone has their own little part to play in the pyramid of envy, Some people spend their entire lives chasing after the 'upgrade', never realizing that there will always be someone yet above that one, and on and on... What does that teach us? Stop emphasizing appearance so much, and while it is corny, value people for what's inside, yes maybe they're weird looking and maybe a bit boring, but I'll bet you a good portion of them would make the best sort of partner or friend you could ever have.

I know what you mean. I just can't handle people who are boring. Mainly because I lack social skills. I can't really date people who I'm not attracted to, but I could be their friend if they're not too boring. I'm trying to "upgrade" myself so I can date people who I actually find attractive and interesting. If someone is boring or unattractive, what's the point of dating them? To me that means they don't have anything to offer me.


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auntblabby
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04 Nov 2014, 10:31 pm

almost nobody is truly boring, that is just a failure to delve beyond the surface. :idea: if you want to attract somebody not "weird looking" then you are gonna have to put in the blood and sweat and toil to un"weird" yourself. like attracts like. as for me, I LOVE weird! :alien:



DevilKisses
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04 Nov 2014, 10:49 pm

auntblabby wrote:
almost nobody is truly boring, that is just a failure to delve beyond the surface. :idea: if you want to attract somebody not "weird looking" then you are gonna have to put in the blood and sweat and toil to un"weird" yourself. like attracts like. as for me, I LOVE weird! :alien:

I look like this.
Image
I think I'm pretty normal looking, but a bit on the boring side. I'm not that great at conversations mainly because I get bored by people easily. When I'm around interesting people my social skills improve a lot. I want people to think I have good social skills so I avoid boring people or people who are likely to be patronizing.


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auntblabby
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04 Nov 2014, 10:54 pm

there is nothing weird about your countenance. caution- old fogey opinion here- and one surefire way to be interesting is to be interested. conversely, if one is interested [even straining at it] then that brings out more often than not the interesting parts of people you talk to. it is very few people that have utterly no unique facets. just my Image worth.



Cafeaulait
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05 Nov 2014, 5:57 am

There is nothing wrong with your hair and you are actually very pretty. Maybe you are just writing off people too quickly? Or you have an extremely boring profile on okcupid yourself.



The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Nov 2014, 6:01 am

DevilKisses wrote:
I've noticed that 99% of the people who are attracted to me are not attractive to me. The main reason is because most people who are attracted to me are guys. I'm not really attracted to guys. I made an account on okcupid and most of the girls that like me are weird looking or just don't catch my eye. I'm okay making friends with those people, but I have a hard time being friends with people who are attracted to me. I tried it once and it didn't work out at all.

Maybe I need to change the way I look or the way my lifestyle is. I can understand why the girls I'm attracted to don't like me. My hair sucks, I don't have a social life, I don't have a life, I live with my parents and I don't have a car. I also think most of the girls I'm attracted to aren't on okcupid. Okcupid seems to attract people who are boring and weird looking. I'm a bit boring so I guess I fit in.



That's because it's much harder to attract a female than to attract a male. A matter of fact, females are way picker.

Many lesbians and even bisexual women complained to me about this, gays usually don't have as much troubles.

Bisexual females' struggles in attracting bi/lesbian women are live proof that straight guys have it harder when it comes to dating and attracting people, those same bisexual females usually have no problem at all in getting boyfriends.

Ask any bi woman, and there's 99% chance that she will tell you she finds it harder to get a gf than a bf.



auntblabby
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05 Nov 2014, 6:07 am

I suppose there is a fair Darwinian reason for that, which is- the woman is in real danger of being stuck with the consequences if she chooses poorly. so there is pressure there to be picky.



The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Nov 2014, 6:09 am

auntblabby wrote:
I suppose there is a fair Darwinian reason for that, which is- the woman is in real danger of being stuck with the consequences if she chooses poorly. so there is pressure there to be picky.


Yes, and these tendencies seemo be the same among lesbians/bi females despite the impossibility of procreation.



DevilKisses
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05 Nov 2014, 1:36 pm

I'm pretty picky as well even when it comes to friends. I don't want to make friends with boring people because boring people don't give me any energy and usually drain my energy pretty fast. When my energy is drained I'm not fun to be around.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Nov 2014, 2:12 pm

Very picky trying to date very picky...

I bet the lesbian dating life is very hard.



Uprising
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05 Nov 2014, 2:22 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Very picky trying to date very picky...

I bet the lesbian dating life is very hard.

Doubt it, they are objectively the better looking sex + pregnancy risk?



auntblabby
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05 Nov 2014, 3:06 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
I suppose there is a fair Darwinian reason for that, which is- the woman is in real danger of being stuck with the consequences if she chooses poorly. so there is pressure there to be picky.


Yes, and these tendencies seemo be the same among lesbians/bi females despite the impossibility of procreation.

hard-wired automatic behaviors akin to a reflex but more complex, they don't "care" if the woman procreates or not, they still have to go through the motions sorta like a fire department has to do readiness drills. just my thought.



DevilKisses
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05 Nov 2014, 5:08 pm

Uprising wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Very picky trying to date very picky...

I bet the lesbian dating life is very hard.

Doubt it, they are objectively the better looking sex + pregnancy risk?

I often notice girls that are "objectively good looking", but not my type.


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