Hardest thing for you related to relationships

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alex
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14 Nov 2014, 9:18 am

What's the hardest thing for you in regards to relationships and why?

Is it getting one? Keeping one? Meeting the right person?

If you could get better at one thing, what would it be? Getting a date? Getting a second date? Getting a girlfriend/boyfriend? Keeping one?


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14 Nov 2014, 9:38 am

alex wrote:
What's the hardest thing for you in regards to relationships and why?

The give-and-take of Communication. Knowing when to speak and what to say, knowing when to listen and how to react, and knowing when the conversation is over.

alex wrote:
Is it getting one?

Not really, once you've figured out the basics of making yourself attractive.

alex wrote:
Keeping one?

Definitely! Relationships are like walking a tightrope above a minefield ... blindfolded ...

alex wrote:
Meeting the right person?

Not really. Broadening one's standards (not lowering them) is the key.

alex wrote:
If you could get better at one thing, what would it be? ...

I do not consider myself as attractive and loveable. I feel discomfort whenever I hear someone say otherwise.


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kraftiekortie
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14 Nov 2014, 9:39 am

My main problem is my love of independence and autonomy.



Cafeaulait
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14 Nov 2014, 9:46 am

Getting one is the hardest. Men do not seem interested in me that way even though I look good.
Keeping one is not that hard for me I think. I am independent, sweet, respectful, a good listener, affectionate and attentive. I think those are important qualities for in a relationship.



TornadoEvil
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14 Nov 2014, 10:50 am

Well, its not really that hard to get a date, even just as friends. Even more than one I would say isn't that hard. Just progressing into a relationship can be really hard.

Just ask [redacted], I think she is your Facebook friend. Probably knows more than me and knows how screwed up I am.



rdos
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14 Nov 2014, 10:59 am

alex wrote:
What's the hardest thing for you in regards to relationships and why?

Is it getting one? Keeping one? Meeting the right person?

If you could get better at one thing, what would it be? Getting a date? Getting a second date? Getting a girlfriend/boyfriend? Keeping one?


Not really hard any of it if you allow that it won't happen every day. I think the mistake most people do is that they are in a hurry, dump people without really knowing them or date people they don't fancy because quantity is everything. If people go for quality instead of quantity things will inevitably improve.



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14 Nov 2014, 11:00 am

Getting one in the first place, but this is a huge understatement. More like getting the whole idea to be something other than a bad joke.

Cafeaulait wrote:
Men do not seem interested in me that way [?]


I?m afraid that whole, unqualified sentence fragment looks like a joke, too. If you mean you don?t like those who do, or that you don?t meet many new people in your everyday life, then I can believe it, though the latter doesn?t seem to be the case judging by some other posts of yours?thus, the former option stands as the more likely one :twisted:


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14 Nov 2014, 12:29 pm

I'm thinking right now is initiating the good morning text messages and remembering to do so. On top of that, responding in a timely manner (I could be a lot worse, but I could be a bit better).

I think learning to be able to trust the partner and have faith that they won't leave you at any moment is also tough if you have been cheated on in the past, or seemingly dumped for the "Bigger and better deal".

Relationships on the whole are tough for everyone. I also find me and my partner have to be on the same page, be honest with each other and not hold back the important feelings or thoughts that need to be shared. I've learned that mind reading is unnaccpetable no matter who you are.


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14 Nov 2014, 12:43 pm

Spiderpig wrote:
Getting one in the first place, but this is a huge understatement. More like getting the whole idea to be something other than a bad joke.

Cafeaulait wrote:
Men do not seem interested in me that way [?]


I?m afraid that whole, unqualified sentence fragment looks like a joke, too. If you mean you don?t like those who do, or that you don?t meet many new people in your everyday life, then I can believe it, though the latter doesn?t seem to be the case judging by some other posts of yours?thus, the former option stands as the more likely one :twisted:


I said, some might find me sexually attractive, but they do not see me in a more than that kind of way. Sex =/= relationship. Only been asked out twice.



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14 Nov 2014, 1:36 pm

The hardest part about relationships, for me, is figuring out what on earth is going on, and how I'm supposed to respond to it. There are all these unwritten rules, well, they're not totally unwritten but that doesn't mean I know how to navigate it. I have zero idea if people are interested in me, and if I've ever been asked out I was totally oblivious to it. Thooooough, I think it's supposed to be obvious? Iunno. I can honestly only tell when drunk people are hitting on me...and then they're scaring me. Because nobody wants a pickup line that goes: ?I've been watching you all night.?

As for asking guys out (what a concept, huh?) I am always afraid of coming off too...creepy, I guess? I'm absolutely terrified of becoming obsessed with a guy. Or any person, really. Because that's bad, and it'd make me the villain in movies and stuff. But crushes feel like obsessions, or maybe they are obsessions, and...I don't even know. I'm really confused.

Haha, I'll probably be even more confused if I ever make it past the first step and actually get into a relationship. Hmmmm...if I could get better at anything it would be navigating the social cues and just my general understanding. Which would help across all aspects of my life~ so that'd be awesome.



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14 Nov 2014, 1:43 pm

My biggest problem has been getting one because of disabilities & way I communicate & act. I'm in one with someone who's on the spectrum & has disabilities herself so we relate & communicate well.


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14 Nov 2014, 1:43 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
My main problem is my love of independence and autonomy.


That's not impossible in a relationship though.



yellowtamarin
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14 Nov 2014, 4:08 pm

The hardest part for me is meeting the right person, because I look for people who are fairly similar to me in their mindset and that's hard to find.



The_Face_of_Boo
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14 Nov 2014, 4:31 pm

To attract someone.

And fact is, that's the worst case, because it's the starting point.



andrethemoogle
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14 Nov 2014, 4:42 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
To attract someone.

And fact is, that's the worst case, because it's the starting point.


Same. Then even if a relationship did happening, the paranoia in my brain goes haywire and at full speed, since I have a hard time trusting the majority of people.



rdos
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14 Nov 2014, 6:58 pm

Rhapsody wrote:
I'm absolutely terrified of becoming obsessed with a guy.


Why?

Rhapsody wrote:
But crushes feel like obsessions, or maybe they are obsessions, and...I don't even know. I'm really confused.


Of course. They feel like obsessions because they are (or at least easily leads to obsessions).