The difference between creepiness and romantic persistence?

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There's this guy that's a friend of mine who's interested in me. A friend tried to set him up with me a long time ago. Though he's having a hard time figuring out that I only see him as my friend. He met my other friends and they say that he's nice. So, I've been dating him for a long time, hoping to feel attraction to him because I feel it would be nice to actually have a crush on someone interested in me. He has poked me at least 5 times on my facebook profile and likes everything posted about me. Also, on facebook, he has told me that he feels sad and lonely sometimes. (This guy is NT btw.)

I think I might have tried to explain that I'm not interested in the past, but maybe not thoroughly enough. Every time I have tried to explain, I have always felt like I'm put on the spot. He tried to insist on a reason before. Also I tried to tell his friend and she insisted on me giving a reason on why I'm not interested. Though, according to other friends and family members, I don't owe anyone an explanation on the reason why. At my friend's birthday, I also had an awkward moment with his arm around me, and with his friend asking if he was interested in me. He complained that he has been trying to date me for 2 years. There was another awkward moment in which I was walking at the beach with him and all of a sudden he walked right in front of me. He then said, "Sorry, I did that because I was expecting a kiss."

Additionally, another friend called me superficial by going for looks. At home my mom accuses me of being attracted to good looking men, that are impossible for me to get. (Although I do consider a guy's looks and voice attractive, I also care about his personality.) For this reason, I have been dating him for that long, hoping to feel an attraction. Though, by trying to be a "good person" I have really been misleading. On the one hand, I know I can't disobey my intuition. I have gotten myself in trouble in the past by doing so. On the other hand, I have been so traumatized from past experiences that I wonder if I'm capable of having a crush on anyone that doesn't give me unrequited love.
I've heard love antennae can be readjusted. I just have to figure out how. Also, does anyone know what to make of this situation? How could you tell the difference between romantic behavior and creepy behavior, in general?

They have romantic interest in you as well = romantic persistence
The do not wish you have a romantic relationship with you on any level = creepiness

I believe it's that simple as there have been many things my boyfriend has said and done during and before our relationship that I know I'd be mortified to experience if it came from somebody I was not genuinely interested in.

A crush comes first, and it won't happen just because you see somebody more. At least not for me. I'm even unable to get a crush on somebody I know too well.

First of all, you should be careful about leading people on. To have someone display interest in you only to reject you at the last moment would be heart-breaking.

When you spoke to him before, did you specifically tell him you only like him "as a friend"? DO you even like him as a friend?

I heard once that a woman knows if she would ever consider sleeping with a man within the first few minutes of knowing him. I don't think this is entirely true, but certainly if you are not attracted to someone when you first meet them, that's unlikely to change (but, not impossible). But if you've been at this for two years, I think it's very unlikely you will have a change of heart.

Don't settle either, just because you want a mutual crush. If you feel like you need a boyfriend/girlfriend, the best thing to do is to wait things out, or to try dating, either online or through friends. You can find someone! In the meantime though, I think it's in yours and your friend's best interests if you very clearly discuss your feelings with each other- or lack there of.

Lol, this stuff is pretty simple:







These memes don't come out of nowhere sadly enough.

Rainbowbutterfly it sounds like you've got tangled up in a difficult situation. I think your real question isn't "is he being creepy?" but "do I see a future with this man?"

Kind of understand that you think he is good looking and you like his personality, but you're just not clicking on some level and you can't put your finger on it. The guys here don't understand that it's not really got anything to do with physical looks it's how two people gel together.

The best thing I've found with guys is when we both enjoy spending time together. It's not stressful, it's just enjoyable to be around that other person. If you don't feel this with him then you're probably not going to be able to force it.

It sounds like you are trying to please the people around you rather than look after yourself. Don't end up with this guy just because other people think he is right for you. You are the one who should decide whether he is right for you.

Your conversation with your mum reminds me of something my friend was telling me about her relationship with her daughter. She at first couldn't understand why her daughter's friends were pairing up with guys and getting into relationships or getting married and her daughter was not. She is an aspie too. There was this one guy that liked her, but he isn't my type either, so I understood why she said no, but her mum didn't understand at first. She was happy for her that someone was finally interested. But my friend's daughter was strong enough to say no and her mum accepts that now. Her mum has grown to realise that you can't force a relationship and you can't just get married to be like everyone else. You have to find your own path.

Don't be scared of telling this guy straight that this is not going to go anywhere. Ultimately you need to understand yourself before you can have a relationship with someone else. Learn to respect yourself first.

The difference between romantic behavior and creepiness is how well you can limit yourself based on the other person's boundaries. The more naturally that comes out, the more romantic it is. This of course is difficult for many people with Asperger's and also for many people without.

If someone's interested, they'll accept your invitation for a date, return your calls, etc. If you call and invite them out for the following, say, Saturday night and they've got plans already, they'll suggest an alternative day or two (eg "can't do that night but either Thursday or next Saturday works").

If they stop returning your calls, declining your invites without suggesting another day/time, they're not. Easy-peasy.

(Repeatedly contacting a person who doesn't contact you is creepy, not romantic. For examples of what NOT to do unless you're hoping to be arrested for stalking check out the "ghosting" chat).

find an absolute dealbreaker of his, and then tell him you qualify for that dealbreaker. (Like if he's atheist, tell him you just found Jesus, that's a sure-fire ender)

No, it's not. The only sure fire-ender is if you got another bf.

No, you do not owe anyone an explanation of why you do not wish to date them. Going on a few dates with someone and then deciding you don't want to see them again doesn't constitute "leading them on" - it's getting to know them and deciding that you don't click. There's no need to lie about having a (non-existent bf!).

Just tell him your not into him. You don't owe him any explanation beyond your lack of interest. You either are or you aren't, any from your post, I'd say you aren't. But I wouldn't keep leading him on with false hope. It will only hurt him more and wastes his time.
As for what your mother said that just sounds like passive aggressive bitchiness to me.

Simply put, the only difference between romanticism and creepiness is reciprocation.

Romantic persistence= creepiness in this day and age just give up and don't ever bother and remain alone for eternity. If you pursue romance you will be labeled a creep that's reality not television or romance novels. Its better to lead them on then brush em off instead its not nice but it feels better but in short romance and love is all a lie and BS! A trap to pull you in to an abusive relationship!Remember its better to be thought of as an indifferent cold hearted jerk than a creepy person. Ate least your preserving your innnocense just thought of as a heartless person but reality is heartless.

I've found from experience that if you click, you click, and you know right away. It isn't something you have to sit and think about, it isn't something you ponder. If you aren't sure weather or not you're attracted, it's because you aren't. You see someone attractive and you typically know right away.

Be very careful about leading him on, though. The worst thing you can do is drag someone along because you aren't sure how you feel about them. It is perfectly, 100% acceptable to be friends with them (so long as they're aware you're just friends) but you claim to be dating this guy. I've been that guy dragged along by a woman who wasn't sure about me, I'll just tell you there's not much worse than finding out they only dated me because of the reasons you just expressed, it's completely unfair to f**k with someone's emotions like that. Gotta be honest with the poor fellow.

It's literally attractiveness and reciprocation that is the fine line between whether somebody is being creepy or not