Fixated on a girl, wonder if I should talk to her or move on

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I am a 17 year old who has been diagnosed with Asperger's. I recieved my diagnoses from a child pediatrician in April of 2006, so almost one year ago. I am also attending councelling and I am scheduled to see a peditrician/psycholgist later this month. I would like to get some advice on relationships. I am rather embarrassed to say I have never had a gf. I have been fixated for the past 6 months in a girl that is in my history class. However, I ruined any sort of friendship I could have with her. The girl I like appears to be a flirt. One day she was with a boy and I presumed they were joking about me because the boy would always gesture towards me and call me over. In a fit a sent the girl a message over the computer calling her a s - - t(It's rather obvious what this word is.) I regretted it because I wasn't sure if she was really particpating in poking fun at me, however I am sure her male acquantance was. I use to stare at her in class and one day she stopped me outside of class to ask me why I always stare at her. I asked her why she was poking fun at me and she actually said she was telling the boy not to make fun of her. I didn't believe her and walked of. However, I now relaize through councelling that any interpretation of her actions may have been wrong. I would really like to start a relationship with this girl as she is single and very beuatiful. How do I make amends with her and start a relationship? She does NOT know I have asperger's as I never told her because I didn't it was significant. I did apologize for the name calling in person but she said it was too late for it. What should I do? It'a important to note that this girl IS currently single. . This girl plays on my highschools volleyball team. Recently, she was featured in my city's local newspaper because her volleyball team is the best in the region (that is best out of approx. 16 highschools). When I meet with her would an appropriate subject be how she ended up in the newspaper perhaps?

I would also like to say this. I am no longer in any of her classes. I was in her history class last semester. I deliberately chose not to be in any of her classes because I felt my fixation on her was hurting me too much because I felt I would never be able to talk to her again because of what I did. I talked to my councillor at school about this today and she told me maybe it would be in my best interest not to share my Asperger's diagnosis with her because it's something I might want to keep to myself.

Anyways, at the beginning of the year when my class was in the school library the first person she asked to help her find a book was me. When I asked her why she asked me she said she thought I would know where to look. I was also the class rep during part of the semester and she asked me questions like "Have you ever been a class rep before?" One day when we had to go into groups I wanted to go with a friend who was also a friend of hers. When he told me he was pairing up with the girl he looked at her and said she has to say if its okay for me to join. She smiled and shook her head in approvle and I joined with her. I was a little bitter with her because of some troubles we had in the past and she said she was sorry for anything that she did in the past and just wanted to be freinds. Stupid me, so I blew it all away.

It's important to make this note. In November when this girl stopped me to ask me why I was staring at her I was going to tell her about my AS diagnosis. However, she said she had to get to class and walked of.

I saw her talking to some of her friends and I felt she just walked away to be not nice, so I gave her a push. She didn’t like it and walked up to me and asked me why I did it. I told her because she walked away from me then she said she would report me to the office. She never did report me. I then changed seats so I couldn’t look at her anymore. However at the end of January I was with some of her friends and she walked up beside me and smiled at me. I asked her why she was laughing and she said she wasn’t laughing. I gave her a friendly wave, said hi to her in which she responded by saying hi, and eventually said bye because I had to leave the school. This was during exam time. That was the lasttime I talked to her, over one month ago.

Everytime I see this girl I always feel jealous when I see her laughing with other guys. I need to know if this girl ever had feelings for me. DogDancer, how can you change you position so suddenly. I need to know because I can’t deal with the regret of not knowing either way.

There's some new information I could use some advice on. Last week this girl travelled out of town. My school's girls volleyball team made it into the Provincial finals scoring second place silver medal. My concern is this: My teacher, who was their coach, allowed the girls on the team to leave the hotel they were staying in to venture through the city late into the night (I think curfew was midnight). There were some boys that went along to help the girls set up the necessary means to play at the tournament. Why this it I am not entirely sure, but I do know not everyone that went were all girls. My concern is, given how beuatiful this girl is, she may have done things with these boys while they were out of town. Then again, it is not any of my buisiness and I shouldn't be thinking about that at all. But I can't help but feel I finally missed out on an oppurtunity I should have taken when she began initiating contact with me six months ago.

The question I have is this: Should I just try and convince myself that I dont care about her and try and move on with life

My advice is this: shuffle her to the back of your mind and get on with your life. Perhaps apologize to her for the things you have done. If she's interested in you, perhaps she will come around eventually. If not, then you need to be prepared for that eventuality.

i have almost the same problem (though i'm only 12) i feel like i'm not meant for anyone besides she doesn't like in any way but back to your problem i think you go with
werbert's advice just dont think about her someday you will find someone

Problem: When I see this girl in the halls it feels me with strange feelings that I cannot comprehend nor understand why I get them. There's a feeling within me to be a part of her life. When I don't see her its easy to shuffle her out of my mind, when I do see her it's impossible. How can I walk through the halls at school without feeling bothered by her and continue walking on without any problems?

Whatever you decide to do, I have one piece of advice.

What people are like on the inside is MUCH more important than what they're like on the outside. She may be completely stunning on the outside, but if you do get to know her very well, what she's like on the inside is almost certain to be a letdown, if only because nobody could live up to your image of her. The reality is probably that she's a perfectly ordinary, flawed, and somewhat boring person in an amazing body.