Falling in love with your counselor.

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Real issue there, I started counseling a month ago, I did 4 visits with this female counselor.

She is the first and only woman in my life who gives me so much attention and replies to me in a kind way, so I fell in love with her.

Now I know this is a common issue for male/female relationships on counseling (I've read many articles about it) but what should I do now?

Should I tell the counselor my feelings towards her? tell her that I fell in love for her?

No, forget it.

It's part of her job to give attention to patients.

True, but how do I cope with therapy now that I like her?

before i went there for therapy, now just because I like her

You shouldn't go into it, your relationship is purely professional but your feelings do matter in this business and you can work on them.
Living among nerds, I've met a lot of lonely guys who way too quickly developed romantic feelings towards any female who showed any form of interest towards them. Probably you're one of this cohort, hungry for intimacy.
Those are your feelings, if the counsellor is professional and capable, you can heal a lot of you with looking into them.

Living among nerds, I've met a lot of lonely guys who way too quickly developed romantic feelings towards any female who showed any form of interest towards them.

I think I belong to this category, spoke to few females in my life, and I'm a big nerd.

(But my hope to develop a real relationship with the counselor remains alive )

It's not uncommon for men to live their whole live, from birth to death, without receiving a single compliment from the opposite sex.

This a big topic, look it up.

It's not uncommon for men to live their whole live, from birth to death, without receiving a single compliment from the opposite sex.

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Honestly, the only time I received attentions from the opposite sex was like 2 years ago when I was 20 just to find out at the end of our "relationship" that she was faking them as she saw that I was interested in her. (she explicitly told me when I declared my love to this girl)

Not to mention that after 2 years I'm still sad about this story and I don't hear from that girl anymore. (decided to do so in order to avoid wrecking my heart once more)

So yes, receiving attention from another girl now (even if it is obvious that it is just due to the fact that I pay my counselor big money) really makes me feel accepted and "happy" in a certain way.

Anyway, my counselor is just 10 years older than me and even though in my country it is illegal to date a counselor during the therapy, if you finish the therapy and decide to hang out in order to see how things go together, it is not something out of this world. (I've read stories of this happening)

Last edited by BlossX on 25 May 2019, 8:11 am, edited 1 time in total.

You might need to find a new counselor.

Hell no, seeing her is what I wait for the whole week.

It would still be highly unethical on the counselor’s part.

She probably doesn’t have the same feelings that you do. Counselors strive to treat all their clients with kindness, sympathy, and attention. It’s part of their job.

This probably isn’t what you want to hear, but I’m just trying to tell you the reality of the situation.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 25 May 2019, 8:35 am, edited 2 times in total.

It would still be highly unethical on the counselor’s part.

She probably doesn’t have the same feelings that you do. Counselors strive to treat all their clients with kindness, sympathy, and attention. It’s part of their job.

This probably isn’t what you want to hear, but I’m just trying to tell you the reality of the situation.[/quote]

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I don't have problem hearing that, as you are probably right, it is what she does.

But I also think that it is impossible for a counselor to not develop any kind of feeling towards a person after seeing him and hearing his personal stories for a very long time.

I mean, it could be possible, but are they just robots in your opinion?

Last edited by BlossX on 25 May 2019, 8:38 am, edited 1 time in total.

I believe it's true.
What do you think I should do about it?

I believe it's true.
What do you think I should do about it?[/quote]
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What you should do as a female?

maybe stop trying to fake feelings towards men like me.

I can assure you that when the girl I used to hang out with told me that was faking emotions "in order to make me feel happy" I was not happy. I was ready to beat the s**t out of someone in that very moment and she was lucky that she told me on the mobile phone. What do you think that we are some kind of robots?
I might be autistic, yes ok I accept it, not something I chose to be. But I ain't a fool and I am not willing to be mocked by a girl.

I can just tell you that complimenting a men, showing him that you are interested on him and then in the end coming out with "it's fake, I did it to make you happy" is not going to achieve what you wanted to achieve.

I still have anger about my personal story with that girl

Last edited by BlossX on 25 May 2019, 8:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

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I don't have problem hearing that, as you are probably right, it is what she does.

But I also think that it is impossible for a counselor to not develop any kind of feeling towards a person after seeing/hearing his personal stories for a very long time.

I mean, it could be possible, but are they just robots?[/quote]




You’ve only seen her for 4 sessions. Not long at all!

Counselors certainly feel sympathy for many of their clients. They can also feel a certain connection and bond but that’s not the same thing as being in love.

My counselor and I hit it off because we have similar experiences and outlooks. (We’re both feminist liberals with anxiety who grew up in unhealthy religions.) We’d be friends in real life, but that’s not the same thing as being in love.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 25 May 2019, 8:43 am, edited 1 time in total.

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What you should do as a female?

maybe stop trying to fake feelings towards men like me.

I can assure you that when the girl I used to hang out with told me that was faking emotions "in order to make me feel happy" I was not happy. I was ready to beat the s**t out of someone in that very moment and she was lucky that she told me on the mobile phone. What do you think that we are some kind of robots?
I might be autistic, yes ok I accept it, not something I chose to be. But I ain't a fool and I am not willing to be mocked by a girl.

I can just tell you that complimenting a men, showing him that you are interested on him and then in the end coming out with "it's fake, I did it to make you happy" is not going to achieve what you wanted to achieve.

I still have anger about my personal story with that girl[/quote]




What do you mean “she was lucky” that she told you on the mobile phone? What would’ve happened if she told you in person?

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 25 May 2019, 8:43 am, edited 1 time in total.

Well, I find myself well after the sessions so I really don't want to stop counseling with her.

And I will not, but I think your tips have been very useful twilightprincess.

I have a better understanding of therapy and the relationship between patient and counselor.

I will try to go on with her