Is it true that long-distance relationships never work out?

Post Reply New Topic

So... I feel kind of dumb about this considering I've said several times that I thought I'd never get a girlfriend, but somehow I did get a girlfriend. By "somehow", I mean I met her on here last year (can you even "meet" online?) and we've been talking for a while since then. At some point we started talking on Facebook instead of on WP because the Facebook messenger is more convenient for regular conversation than PMing here is.

So we kept talking, and after a while she told me she liked me. Like, like-liked me. (Why can't we have a better word for this? ) And for a while I didn't really know what to say, because I wasn't sure about it. But over time I came to the conclusion that I like her too, and so now after more talking about it we are officially dating.

We started talking on the phone too almost every night since about a week and a half ago. And I find it odd because at first, even when she told me about how she felt, I didn't expect to like her. But the more we talk the more I think I do. And I don't know if this is genuine or if I'm just excited that I have a girlfriend. But I do like talking to her, it's pretty much the only thing I look forward to on any given day. And I also think I've been feeling less depressed since we've started talking more.

The only thing is she lives really far away. At this point the only way I can possibly see her is if I take a plane ride during a weekend (which I actually am planning on doing in July).

But I still feel like I'm already getting pretty attached to her. I can't help but think that's a bad thing, because if this doesn't work out for some reason, won't I just be worse off in the end?

Depends on how much face time you need, how much you're willing to sacrifice, and how well you can communicate over a distance. Some people start off long-distance and then wind up living together with families. Many don't. But that applies to local relationships, as well.

No one can make the decision for anyone else when it comes to whether it not it's worth pursuing.

I met my husband on okcupid. He was used to mostly having online friends and I like to communicate in text more than in person so it worked fine. I actually miss our text conversations now that we live together.

It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all...

I met my husband in real life, but we started our dating relationship as a long-distance one.

And we are physically apart (as in different states or countries) well over half the time for the duration of our marriage.

We've been married over ten years.

For me, the distance helps immensely. He's NT; I have moderate-severe sensory sensitives that prevent the amount of physical contact he would undoubtedly expect if we were a more typical-live together all the time couple. It keeps him from getting hurt and it keeps me from getting overwhelmed.

There is no reason to believe your relationship is doomed because of distance. None at all.

It's mostly true I guess.

Good for you, Mr Holmes!

Tell us about her, in general terms. Is she about your age?

Maybe you could use Skype or something like that so you could see each other?

She must be a bright/intelligent person; I know your standards in that area.

I think she's good for you, personally, at this point.

Sounds like something that will likely work out for you two given how your heart-strings have been pulled. All you have to do is to continue working together towards growing & learning & coming up with solutions together. Always question everything & learn how to be resourceful (such as through community communication-mediums like Craigslist). Sometimes you can simply integrate into a new culture/community/family depending on how willing you are to simply try adopting into a new life-style. Just keep in mind that opportunities do not only knock once, but rather, opportunities are everywhere (just be careful not to get scammed by people who claim that you'll get rich by buying into their schemes because that is a case where I can confidently say that such things never work out unless you're one of those conivingly dishonest NTs but I would never encourage anybody to go down such a "hell-bound" path in their life-choices).

She's just a little younger than me, maybe 5 months. So we're both 19. I know what she looks like from Facebook. And it's funny you should mention Skype because last night some older lady took the phone from her while we were talking and asked me when I could Skype with her. I told her, "I guess I can right now," and she started saying, "He says he can right now! Now you have to!" I guess her family was teasing her for not wanting to Skype, because they know she has a boyfriend now and I guess they think it's cute every time she's told them who she's talking to they'll do something like, "Awww." Anyway, considering how nervous we both were about just talking I wouldn't be surprised if that's why she doesn't want to Skype yet. I'm sure we will eventually though.

But yeah, she is a lot like me in the way that I think about things in general, so that's really nice, because I can count on one hand the people I've known like that. Ironically a lot of our conversations are about silly things and cats

I met my current girlfriend here on WP. I lived in Louisiana & she lived in Vermont. After acouple months of chatting my girlfriend & her sister took a Greyhound bus to New Orleans. Her sister wanted to tour NO & I lived an hour away from there with my parents. When they went back up to Vermont. I went with them which was a two day ride each way. After taking acouple bus trips up there within a few months; we moved in together. The lease on her apartment was expiring soon & we wanted to look for a different place so the timing had to kind of happen then.

You should have them anyway. Log into your computers in different rooms and have a chat

oh just on your phones. I worry about that too, but its not really something i should worry about being alone.

I feel like I love her. That doesn't make any sense though does it? We've never even met. But I like her so much

I fell in love with all 3 of my girlfriends before we met in person.