I contracted Genital Herpes (HSV 2)! Help!
Having Aspergers Syndrome I have never had much luck with the ladies in my early years (15-23) - due to lacking social skills.
Obviously, being a male, it made me feel bad to have so little sexual experience at age 23.
After age 23 I started to get more feeling of what it took to make females interested (social skills), and having these one-night-stands once in a while helped me feeling better about the issue of sexual experience (and giving some reassurance that it might actually be possible to find a girlfriend, without ever truly believing it).
At age 25 (1½ years ago) I met a woman (aged 32) I found interesting, and that was reciprocal. We did not end up sleeping together the first time we met, but did the second time.
Our genital parts did touch briefly before I put on protection (condom). About 5 days later I had my initial breakout, and there was no doubt - I had contracted genital herpes. I was in fact very naiive about this, I did not know about the disease, and I had never thought it could infect me that easily. I, erroneously, thought wearing a condom at penetration would we sufficient.
The emotional pain has been huge from this. I already had to deal with the life-long sentence of Aspergers Syndrome, but now I had yet another life-sentence to deal with, of Herpes 2. I feel so stupid now, I knew she was this kind of outgoing, wild party girl, so of course I should not have slept with her, but at the time I likely felt good about that confidence boost that was included.
Because of the disease I now feel like my moral values have deteriorated, I feel like I am broken, that I will never truly be all healthy again. I lost a lot of my self-respect when this happened, because I have always been proud of being one taking care of myself, but I surely did not.
How can I feel better about this? I keep getting reminded about this tragic event everytime I get just a small outbreak, and that seems to be often. I realize emotional stress exacerbates the condition, so it gets worse simply because I have the condition.
Please help me feel better about having this condition. The only thing that seems to help is thinking that I have only got one life to live.
Last edited by Pete579Williams on 05 Feb 2014, 1:13 am, edited 1 time in total.
Herpes is spread through skin contact so a condom is no protection from HSV2. It is also possible that your partner had no clue she had it. Some people never have any symptoms. I have HSV 2 and it isn't as big of a deal as you think. See a doctor and get educated about it. It's not the end of the world.
_________________
Can't get it right, no matter what I do, guess I'll just be me and keep F!@#$%G up for you!
It goes on and on and on, it's Heaven and Hell! Ronnie James Dio - He was simply the greatest R.I.P.
I see it is possible to live with it, but the social stigma is terrible, and what about future relationships? It disrupts any sex-life.
Also, the risk of contracting HIV is immensely increased when you have HSV 2.
I feel like, "Okay, so now I am only one step from contracting HIV, whereas before I was two steps away!".
I could consider myself lucky for not having contracted HIV right away, on the other hand.
I feel like a dirtbag, and there is no return.
I see it is possible to live with it, but the social stigma is terrible, and what about future relationships? It disrupts any sex-life.
I haven't had any issues with this. I have had two partners after being infected with the current one going on 3 years the other about 2. Neither one of them has become infected. Since I have had a vasectomy and both of them had hysterectomies we never used any protection. I told both of them up front also.
Also, the risk of contracting HIV is immensely increased when you have HSV 2.
What dumba$$ told you this bull$hit? HIV and HSV2 are two completely different viruses. HSV2 is basically an annoying but otherwise benign skin infection. You really need to get educated on this issue.
_________________
Can't get it right, no matter what I do, guess I'll just be me and keep F!@#$%G up for you!
It goes on and on and on, it's Heaven and Hell! Ronnie James Dio - He was simply the greatest R.I.P.
I guess technically if you had active lesions the damaged skin would be unable to prevent direct infection of the blood stream. But that seems like a really unlikely scenario.
Also, not to get anyone's hopes up, but there's a drug company that's developing a vaccine/cure for HSV-2 right now. It's in trials right now, and they suggest that it can prevent transmission and destroy existing dormant viral pathogens.
http://www.smh.com.au/national/health/c ... 31wvb.html
You don't need any genital contact or broken skin to transmit or recieve the HSV 2 virus. The skin around the genitals is very thin and skin to skin contact is all that is needed to transmit the virus. It really is that easily transmitted. Valtrex is an anti-viral medication currently used to reduce outbreaks but it is not a cure. Other anti-viral medications may be used but none of them are a cure. Once you get HSV 2 or HSV 1 (cold sores which 95% of the adult population has) for that matter you will always have it.
_________________
Can't get it right, no matter what I do, guess I'll just be me and keep F!@#$%G up for you!
It goes on and on and on, it's Heaven and Hell! Ronnie James Dio - He was simply the greatest R.I.P.
Thank you for your support. I feel extremely unlucky. I mean, it was a one-time encounter and with protection, and still I end up with this life-long sentence.
If there was anything I could do to reconsider, and not have gone on one night stands. It was such an immature decision. This has ruined any future serious relationship. It is just not possible to escape that fact.
Also, the risk of contracting HIV is immensely increased when you have HSV 2.
What dumba$$ told you this bull$hit? HIV and HSV2 are two completely different viruses. HSV2 is basically an annoying but otherwise benign skin infection. You really need to get educated on this issue.
Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) that cause open sores on the genitals, like herpes, syphilis, or chancroid, can increase HIV transmission. This is because the open sores make it easier for the HIV virus to get into the body. Also, when you have an infection your immune system kicks up a notch, producing disease-fighting cells called macrophages. The HIV virus can bind to these macrophages in mucus membranes like the vagina or anus and thus cross these membranes into the blood stream. If you have an infection in your genital area, macrophages are especially concentrated there, giving HIV more opportunities to enter your body.
People who have both herpes and HIV infections are also more likely to transmit HIV to their partners. Replication or activity of the herpes virus in the body appears to increase HIV viral loads (that is, increase the presence of HIV in blood and and sexual fluids). In addition, because of HIVs compromising effects on the immune system, it can cause more severe or longer-lasting herpes outbreaks. This can lead to increased transmission of HIV because transmission is more likely during herpes outbreaks. Treating both herpes and HIV may reduce the risk of transmission of both infections.
Because of this, a study last year that found that treating herpes did not actually lower people's risk of HIV confused many scientists. They could not understand why, even though the suppressive therapy used was moderately effective at reducing the number of herpes outbreaks, it didn't actually lower people's risk of getting HIV.
Fortunately, scientists think they may now have an answer. A small 2009 study discovered that the immune system cells that HIV prefers to infect are found in higher concentrations at the site of a herpes infection - for months after the herpes sores have healed. Even after successful treatment with a suppressive treatment like acylcovir, the increased concentrations of highly-susceptible cells remained present in the skin.
If these results are confirmed in further studies, it could explain both the increased susceptibility of individuals with herpes to HIV infection, even in the absence of symptoms, and why standard suppressive treatments may not be sufficient to reduce their risk.
There is no doubt she knew she had this. I did not really trust her at all, I was a fool to sleep with her. Almost a HIV and death-sentence I brought on myself that night.
I do not know how to forgive myself. The only comfort is that I did not get HIV right away (well I hope!).
Always having been using condoms I did not take the risks seriously enough. Not at all.
The majority of the general population has one version or another of HSV. People can have HSV2 (genital) strain on their mouth and HSV1 (oral) on their genitals and not even know it. The only difference is location and frequency of outbreaks, and that can be controlled with medication. Many people are uneducated about this, and quite frankly, if someone is going to freak out on you about this, they are not a good relationship candidate for you anyway. You need someone who is mature enough to deal with all you have to offer, because nowadays everyone comes with some sort of baggage and yours is no better or worse than another's. That being said, just because it is common does not mean you are exempt from doing the moral thing by disclosing your status to an intimate partner. You weren't given the information and choice and now you feel pretty crappy. Don't do that to someone else. It will mean that you actually will have to take time to get to know someone before jumping into bed with them, which isn't at all a bad thing. You are still a valuable and wonderful human being. In fact, I believe there are support groups and even dating sites for people who are HSV+. You might want to check those out and find you are not as alone as you think.
Thank you mikassyna.
It is just that I already had to deal with Aspergers Syndrome, and then I "chose" to give myself yet another life-sentence.
I know many people are infected with either HSV1 or HSV2, but the emotional pain from not having been taking properly care of myself is huge.
I see the good part about it is that I stop this casual sex on one night stands and actually begin taking dating seriously. As we know, that is not too easy with AS, and is really why I went on one night stands to begin with.
Now it is not just the autistic message board, but also the herpes message board. But yes, I know there are so many worse illnesses, take parkinson's disease or multiple sclerosis. I still feel bad about this, though.
It's ok to feel bad. This just happened to you and you are still reeling from it and have to reassess your place in the world. However, it is a big world And I think if you went to a dating site of people who feel marginalized by this, you will probably find yourself immersed in a volume of more compassionate people than what you are used to coming across in the general public. I think as time goes on and you manage to connect with more people you will feel less terrible about your situation. But you have to lick your wounds for a while. Have faith in humanity, there are nice people out there for you, I promise.
It's ok to feel bad. This just happened to you and you are still reeling from it and have to reassess your place in the world. However, it is a big world And I think if you went to a dating site of people who feel marginalized by this, you will probably find yourself immersed in a volume of more compassionate people than what you are used to coming across in the general public. I think as time goes on and you manage to connect with more people you will feel less terrible about your situation. But you have to lick your wounds for a while. Have faith in humanity, there are nice people out there for you, I promise.
I hope so. But it is just as much the fact that I do not want to pass it on to others. It does intrude on one's sex life no matter how one looks at it.
It's actually been 1½ years since I contracted it, but it all comes back when I have an outbreak. It reminds me it's for life. Though I hear it should get better with time, and I think it has gotten better. It's just always there.
It's actually been 1½ years since I contracted it, but it all comes back when I have an outbreak. It reminds me it's for life. Though I hear it should get better with time, and I think it has gotten better. It's just always there.
If your outbreaks are frequent, you can go to a urologist and get a prescription for daily antivirals. They would help keep outbreaks nearly nonexistent. FWIW