Standard Gender Views and Dating

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I'm not understanding the way that men and women are often being described on this site. This isn't the world that I see. Each and every person is individual and unique. There isn't standard male and female behaviours. We all have our own wants and needs. Of course, you will have trouble finding someone you are compatible with. Everyone has this problem, no matter how many relationships they have or haven't had. While you can't make it work with everyone, the great thing is that you only need to make it work with one.

Using myself as an example.. I make just enough money to support myself. I can't stand romance. I'm to the point that I don't even try to be romantic anymore, as it just feels like a chore to me. I value my personal space, and I don't like being touched often. I'm not good looking. My social skills are horrible. I can't even drive. I can think of many reasons that I would be considered worthless, when it comes to relationships.

However, I do have someone, who also doesn't like romance and touching and doesn't need constant attention. She's crippled. She has been a social outcast, her entire life, just as I have. She has her own income, and doesn't need mine. She would also be considered "ugly". She isn't ugly to me, but yes, the standards that tv and magazines set, she would be unattractive. Her social skills are horrible. She can drive, so that's great for her.

I guess that I'm saying that maybe some of you would be happier if you would step back, and reconsider your perspective, and possibly change some of your standards. I could never make it work with the types of women that are often described in these threads. I wouldn't want to try. It's exhausting. But you need to remember that there are many people out there, in a variety of genders and sexual orientations, who are feeling just like you are. I think that most of us want to find someone to be happy with. Compatibility is what really matters.

So many times when I read threads on here where people are complaining about women or men, I think "why do you even want to attract these people?". The way they are described, they sound nothing like me or the people I date. Where I live at least, there are so many different types of people, and yet so often I hear "women" or "men" being slapped with a heap of negative stereotypes and criticised or ruled out as a group.

Sure, there might not be many people at all that suit you, but that should be the challenge - finding someone who suits you - not trying to obtain (or complaining about not obtaining) someone who doesn't.

If you've never attracted anybody, it might be interesting to be in the "I know you pathetic loser would die for a chance to be with me, but you can't" position for a change.

I've not been in either of those positions, the latter sounds disgusting and not something I'd want to do just to "get back at" other people who had done it to me. Unless you mean it would be the thought that runs through your head, rather than something you would actually project onto them, then I have two things to say in response:

1) I would never think that, as above, just because I thought other people had thought that of me.
2) People may not actually think that of you - if it's in their head, you can't know for sure. I've seen posts on here where someone says that such-and-such person has told them they were ugly/no good/pathetic/whatever, but if you actually ask them to give a direct quote, the story changes and it never really was as direct or harsh as that. These things tend to get harsher in the mind of the person who is being rejected...they create the insults that nobody is actually saying to their face, and therefore possibly not even thinking at all.