Should I give my friend a love poem?

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MonsterCrack
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27 Sep 2015, 8:48 pm

I'm 16, and a guy, and I've known my friend who's 17, and a girl, since May 31.... I haven't talked to her in a couple of months.... and I was going to give her this poem:

viewtopic.php?t=294207

Is that a bad idea?

Also, her parents forbid her from dating until she is 18, which is in June 15 or July 15 of 2016...



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28 Sep 2015, 2:56 am

I personally wouldn't just yet. Do you know if she likes you in that way back?

2 months is a while to go without speaking to someone.

To me, that would be the equivalent of someone not talking to you for a long time and then suddenly proposing to you!

Take things slowly. If a special connection starts to happen, I'm sure you'll know about it, and then you can perhaps show her the poem.

I read it. Very eloquent. Hope this helps and it works out for the best for you. :)



Cockroach96
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28 Sep 2015, 3:55 am

Keep your feelings under control for now. Be rational and don't let them take over!
Get in touch with that girl and see if it works. If you get far enough, you can then make your feelings known to her. But discard that love letter, as it sounds needy and clingy.


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nerdygirl
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28 Sep 2015, 5:32 am

I would not give any love poems at this point in time. Save love poems for when you are actually in a relationship with someone.

Feel free to write them, but don't give them.



The_Face_of_Boo
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28 Sep 2015, 5:34 am

She would show it to her friends and make a mockery of you.

It happened to a friend of mine, whom I helped to write the poem, we were like 12.

From that experience I learned it's a very bad idea.



Peacesells
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28 Sep 2015, 5:54 am

I did too and she said that she had better things to do than read it, lol.

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
It happened to a friend of mine

:wink:



The_Face_of_Boo
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28 Sep 2015, 7:07 am

Peacesells wrote:
I did too and she said that she had better things to do than read it, lol.
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
It happened to a friend of mine

:wink:


lol no, it wasn't me, I swear, I would have said it. I never had the balls to do such thing (and probably still in that regards) when I was a kid, I was extremely shy.

It happened to my best friend back then, he had a crush on a girl for long time who was her friend, and asked me to compose a poetic love letter for her.

I remember so well that I told him this is crazy but he insisted, so I did write it - there was nothing physical in the content, it was what we call in Arabic poetry, the udharî type (purely non physical romance).

He took it, and put is sneakily in her backpack, on the next morning, I saw her doing a scene in front of her friends, I recall she was crying and telling him things about friendship betrayal...bla bla.. it was all unnecessary attention-seeking.

Shortly after, the public attention-seeking drama went to open bullying and mocking on him leaded by her, and then it extended to me because they correctly guessed I was the one who composed it knowing my grades on Arabic writing skills and being his only best friend - this lasted weeks, I recall him ended up hating her.

She even showed it to one of the teachers, hoping that she (the teacher) would join the mocking bandwagon, but she loved it and said she would put A on this LOL - I recall her face now, the girl was so disappointed by her reaction, for some reason this brought end to bullying on this subject.

Imagine if there was facebook back then, now I know that age 16 is different than 12, but you never know.



Peacesells
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28 Sep 2015, 7:25 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
lol no, it wasn't me, I swear, I would have said it. I never had the balls to do such thing (and probably still in that regards) when I was a kid, I was extremely shy.

There's no point in it anyway.
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on the next morning, I saw her doing a scene in front of her friends, I recall she was crying and telling him things about friendship betrayal...bla bla.. it was all unnecessary attention-seeking.

Shortly after, the public attention-seeking drama went to open bullying and mocking on him leaded by her, and then it extended to me because they correctly guessed I was the one who composed it knowing my grades on Arabic writing skills and being his only best friend - this lasted weeks, I recall him ended up hating her.

I don't really understand her reaction and why she felt so offended by it. 8O
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Imagine if there was facebook back then, now I know that age 16 is different than 12, but you never know.

She'd publicly post a pic of it on FB accusing him of stuff and incitating all her contacts to mock him, no doubt about it.



nerdygirl
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28 Sep 2015, 7:43 am

Do not, I repeat DO NOT give love letters or poems to someone when you are not in a relationship. I have too many experiences being stupid in this area. Just don't do it.



The_Face_of_Boo
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28 Sep 2015, 8:37 am

Yes, I composed a love pm for nerdygirl, but I just saved it in draft.



nerdygirl
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29 Sep 2015, 5:41 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Yes, I composed a love pm for nerdygirl, but I just saved it in draft.


Knowing that it is best not to send it because it would only bring opportunity for rejection since I am married and a devout Christian.

I could think Boo is a great guy and under other circumstances be interested in dating. But all that would make no difference now.

What's the point of love letters/poems? It is to express your feeling. The problem is that I think we Aspies 1) feel so intensely (seems to be true from another thread currently running), and 2) don't know when it is appropriate to express those feelings.

I wrote a few of these letters. The intensity of feeling definitely comes through, and is likely to be too much. One time, I was so frustrated with my "friends" at school, that I wrote a different kind of letter telling them how frustrated I was with the kind of "friends" they were. *That* time, somehow my mother intercepted the letter and saved me a lot of grief, talking me down and convincing me not to pass it out.

It is best just to learn how to privately deal with the intensity of feeling, and patiently wait for the times you know it is appropriate to express yourself fully. It is a skill you're going to need your whole life anyway. I thought I would "mellow out" as I got older. Nope.



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29 Sep 2015, 5:44 am

lol

It's funny that you believed me.



kraftiekortie
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29 Sep 2015, 5:51 am

Nerdygirl would have been the kind of girl I wish I would have met in high school. A "all-rounder," Renaissance person.

As for the love poem, Mr Monster: It's actually very good for a kid of your age. You have talent. You have intelligence. Calm the eff down, man! Seriously. Don't squander your potential.



nurseangela
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29 Sep 2015, 5:58 am

2 months of not talking is way too long in NT Land if she really likes you. I'd rekindle the friendship first and maybe give the poem after several months of close contact otherwise you may scare her off.

PS: keep that poem for use later on. What girl wouldn't like to receive a personal poem from their Hunny? And keep writing - you have talent.


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nerdygirl
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29 Sep 2015, 6:25 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
lol

It's funny that you believed me.


No, I thought you were joking around. But, worth commenting on...