Imagine a 30 year old male dating a 19 year old female...

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graceksjp
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07 Apr 2019, 2:22 pm

I mean personally I turn 19 this year, and I could never imagine dating a thirty year old man. I dont think me or my parents would feel comfortable with that situation. Its not the age gap that bothers me though. Like a 30 and 40 year old sure, but teenagers and thirties seems like a big gap in age, maturity, and experience. Id prefer to date someone close to my own age.


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sly279
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07 Apr 2019, 4:07 pm

graceksjp wrote:
I mean personally I turn 19 this year, and I could never imagine dating a thirty year old man. I dont think me or my parents would feel comfortable with that situation. Its not the age gap that bothers me though. Like a 30 and 40 year old sure, but teenagers and thirties seems like a big gap in age, maturity, and experience. Id prefer to date someone close to my own age.


Aspies are not as mature d and experienced. I get along better and have more in common with 18-25 year olds. As my ex friends said I didn’t grow up while they did.
Which makes dating hard on top of my other downsides. The average 31 year old woman would find me childish and immature.

I wonder why you think 30-40 is ok but not 20-30. The 40 year old will be more mature and experienced then the 30 year old so all the same issues still exist.
Not challenging your decision most won’t date 30 old men, different for 30 old women.

It’s another reason why my situation will only get worse as I get older. At 26 I could date a 18-24 year old who matched my experience and maturity although women are more mature at that age then men, now I can only date 30+ old women, who will if they get past my income and status find me incompatible


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sly279
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07 Apr 2019, 4:08 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Nobody who has any sanity would think you’re a bad guy for dating young 20s women.

You’re meeting some really funny people. I don’t hang out with that sort of person who believes that garbage.

My mom does.
She seems to think I’m a pedo for it.

You hang out with the people here who think it.


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kraftiekortie
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07 Apr 2019, 4:29 pm

Your mother is not right. You’re a pedophiliac when you want to have sex with, say, 13 year olds. Not full-grown adults.

I don’t “hang out” with anybody who would see something wrong with a 31 year old dating a 26 year old. Or even someone in their earlier 20s. That’s nonsense.



Last edited by kraftiekortie on 07 Apr 2019, 4:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Joe90
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07 Apr 2019, 4:32 pm

I'm nearly 29 and my boyfriend is early 50s. Anyone beat that age gap? :lol:

He's NT by the way, and I'm Aspie.


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kraftiekortie
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07 Apr 2019, 4:34 pm

Whatever floats your boat. I once dated a woman twice my age.



IsabellaLinton
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07 Apr 2019, 4:35 pm

I like older men too. My most recent bf was 14 years older. The only time I see an issue is if the older person (M/F) is actively manipulating someone who has less theory of mind.


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07 Apr 2019, 4:36 pm

Uprising wrote:
... and the male in question basically looks the same age as the female, considering the young aspie genes in said male...

How would you in general feel about this?

This is a completely hypothetical question and is not related in any way to my personal life but it is just something I've been thinking about wildly of how society would see this situation.


If they truely love each other, go for it! :D


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sly279
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07 Apr 2019, 4:40 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I like older men too. My most recent bf was 14 years older. The only time I see an issue is if the older person (M/F) is actively manipulating someone who has less theory of mind.

What if it’s the older person with less theory if mind?
I’ve been tricked lot by women my age or younger


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IsabellaLinton
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07 Apr 2019, 4:48 pm

sly279 wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
I like older men too. My most recent bf was 14 years older. The only time I see an issue is if the older person (M/F) is actively manipulating someone who has less theory of mind.

What if it’s the older person with less theory if mind?
I’ve been tricked lot by women my age or younger


True. Good point, I agree. In either case age is not the problem.


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graceksjp
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07 Apr 2019, 6:20 pm

sly279 wrote:
Aspies are not as mature d and experienced. I get along better and have more in common with 18-25 year olds. As my ex friends said I didn’t grow up while they did.
Which makes dating hard on top of my other downsides. The average 31 year old woman would find me childish and immature.

I wonder why you think 30-40 is ok but not 20-30. The 40 year old will be more mature and experienced then the 30 year old so all the same issues still exist.
Not challenging your decision most won’t date 30 old men, different for 30 old women.

It’s another reason why my situation will only get worse as I get older. At 26 I could date a 18-24 year old who matched my experience and maturity although women are more mature at that age then men, now I can only date 30+ old women, who will if they get past my income and status find me incompatible


Honestly I dont think I personally would be ok with 30-40. But I know it exists and I can at least accept that there are people who engage in such relationships. I understand differences in maturity, and its fine to me to have friends of any age. But I just feel it would be a little strange to have such a large age gap with your significant other. I know I would feel uncomfortable if a 30 year old man started hitting on me. But thats just me. I just wouldnt like knowing there was such a large gap in life experiences, and that they would be well into their mid thirties by the time I finished going to school.
But ya know, whatever floats your goat! :mrgreen:


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RetroGamer87
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09 Apr 2019, 2:02 am

I could do it but the maturity difference would be difficult for me. I'd struggle to be as mature as the average 19 year old.


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kraftiekortie
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09 Apr 2019, 6:52 am

In many cases, age is indeed “just a number.”

In terms of maturity, I’m not near to being 58. More like 25, maybe. At times, even much younger.



CockneyRebel
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12 Apr 2019, 7:03 pm

But age doesn't matter.


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Chummy
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13 Apr 2019, 8:10 pm

Way too young.

a 19 y.o girl just starting out her life, not sure what she wants to do whether to study or work or travel abroad for the next 3 years.

a 30 y.o dude already has a job, an apartment... he knows what he wants from life and from his (potential) relationship,and he had gone through a lot more.

If you just wanna meet to make love of course it doesn't matter.



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13 Apr 2019, 9:21 pm

I was 13 years older than my last ex, so I don't really see an issue with it. :|


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