Imagine a 30 year old male dating a 19 year old female...

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hale_bopp
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04 Jan 2019, 4:54 am

Uprising wrote:
... and the male in question basically looks the same age as the female, considering the young aspie genes in said male...

How would you in general feel about this?

This is a completely hypothetical question and is not related in any way to my personal life but it is just something I've been thinking about wildly of how society would see this situation.


I would see it as normal. Two legal adults can date each other if they like. Bugger society.

I generally go for +\- 5 years as those are the people who would be relationship material for me.



Ichinin
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04 Jan 2019, 5:22 am

ShyGirl7 wrote:
The main point here is - age doesn't matter - the only thing that matters is whether the man loves the woman.


And vice versa.

For me, age is just an integer value. I'd rather date a younger woman without kids, without debt, without prejudgemental political opinions, without having traveled "everywhere and don't want to go anymore".

I set a limit at 10 years younger than me, above that is a no-go. Basically everything above 18 to 35 is what i'm after. When i shave my beard, comb my hair and make myself look presentable, i get everything from teenagers and up staring at me as of o was a chocolate cupcake that they want to eat.

So far the problem hasn't been age, it have been problems finding someone who is a non-smoker that doesn't want to have kids. I'd rather stay alone.

Age does not even come into play, i've talked to several girls who were around 19-23 on dating sites, i have more common with them than women my age, who don't like gaming and own a TV instead of following specific interests on youtube.


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TUF
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04 Jan 2019, 5:28 am

If he's aspie and she's NT, I feel nothing bad.

NTs take until around 25 to develop fully. I don't mean physically - physically some people are developed even before the age of consent and unless someone's so small that she can't deliver a baby to term, or someone's so young looking that it doesn't look as if puberty changed them (this is simply ick factor, if their brain is developed I can't find a moral reason for this to be wrong) they are physically ready. However, I don't care about this. I care about the morals of it. The morals are all about how socially mature someone is. How able to manipulate the other person they are.

Socially, aspies mature slower.

My dad was both aspie and broken by a bad childhood when he met my mum. She was 18 and NT with a fairly average childhood behind her, he was 26 but in need of a childhood.

Even now, I don't think she was too young, I think he was. He's still like my little brother (at 56, he's like a 12 year old), having never developed mentally into a man (outside of intelligence, I mean emotional age).

Most of us don't have the same issues he does but still, I'd say I'm not at full mental adulthood yet and I'm 30. It wouldn't be immoral for me to date a 19 year old for the simple reason that I would lack the capacity to manipulate them.

NT with NT is different, aspie with aspie is different, NT adult of 30 with aspie young adult of 19 and I'd find it disgusting and an obvious case of taking advantage.

It doesn't matter how intellectually smart you are because it's not a game of chess, it's a relationship and aspies aren't smart at those.



hale_bopp
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04 Jan 2019, 7:04 am

Ichinin wrote:
i get everything from teenagers and up staring at me as of o was a chocolate cupcake that they want to eat.


Holy crap, I can’t believe someone would talk that way about themself.

Why are you single, then??

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:



The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Jan 2019, 7:23 am

I need to acquire some of your sweat, Ichinin.

Just say the price.



nick007
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04 Jan 2019, 1:11 pm

Things I read on lots of sites say that Aspies mature slower than NTs & Aspie's mental ages tend to be a 3rd less than their peers. That would mean a 30 year old Aspie is like a 20 year-old mentally. So like TUF said, I see nothing wrong with it if the 30 year-old is the Aspie & the 19 year-old is the NT. However if the 19 year-old is the Aspie, it's possible it could turn into a caretaker or parent/child realtionship. I felt like a parent at times with both my exes & current girlfriend cuz they have issues their dealing with & I'd much rather feel like a parent to someone younger than have someone older treat me like I'm her child. I NEVER had a close relationship with my own mom & it was kinda an abusive realtionship at times & I never had a close relationship with anyone else except for both my exes & current girlfriend so that may be some of it but I'm kind of the opposite of a typical Aspie when it comes to romantic relationships too. I LOVE being close & affectionate with my partner & think being emotionally supportive is one of my biggest realtionship strengths so that's probably another reason why I'd much rather someone younger than older than me.


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Last edited by nick007 on 04 Jan 2019, 1:51 pm, edited 2 times in total.

amykitten
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04 Jan 2019, 1:21 pm

My sister dated someone as old as my parents when 16. They got married and it turns out he was an abusive jerk. But it could of easily been someone the same age as her.

Personally I wouldn't date someone that older than me, and lately I've been attracting younger men :? I would rather be happy with someone I could be myself with :)



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04 Jan 2019, 2:50 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
Ichinin wrote:
i get everything from teenagers and up staring at me as of o was a chocolate cupcake that they want to eat.


Holy crap, I can’t believe someone would talk that way about themself.

Why are you single, then??

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


Because:

1. on the commute to work, it's the wrong bloody place and time to ask a random stranger out. I saw one girl on the subway checking me out, later on i saw that she had tracked me down and had visited my dating profile.

2. when try to take pictures of myself for a profile i always think i look like crap and have a hard time to throw something up. I've also been told on dates and by a female friend that i look good, but i had a hard time believing it after years of being bullied in school.

3. I'm also not social enough or have a high enough sexdrive to be desperate for a girlfriend and ask every girl i meet for a date.

Honestly, i would love a GF (just not anybody) - but after years of unsuccessful dating, i'd prefer if girl/woman would contact me so i'm sure that she is really interested. I can get a GF if i want to, but i don't want what i can easily get. I'd rather spend time playing VR games for now.

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I need to acquire some of your sweat, Ichinin.

Just say the price.


Uhm...? I don't sweat that much anyways, unless i go for a long hike on a warm day in the summer, so if you are serious you have to wait 6 months...


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hale_bopp
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04 Jan 2019, 4:19 pm

Ichinin wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
Ichinin wrote:
i get everything from teenagers and up staring at me as of o was a chocolate cupcake that they want to eat.


Holy crap, I can’t believe someone would talk that way about themself.

Why are you single, then??

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


Because:

1. on the commute to work, it's the wrong bloody place and time to ask a random stranger out. I saw one girl on the subway checking me out, later on i saw that she had tracked me down and had visited my dating profile.

2. when try to take pictures of myself for a profile i always think i look like crap and have a hard time to throw something up. I've also been told on dates and by a female friend that i look good, but i had a hard time believing it after years of being bullied in school.

3. I'm also not social enough or have a high enough sexdrive to be desperate for a girlfriend and ask every girl i meet for a date.

Honestly, i would love a GF (just not anybody) - but after years of unsuccessful dating, i'd prefer if girl/woman would contact me so i'm sure that she is really interested. I can get a GF if i want to, but i don't want what i can easily get. I'd rather spend time playing VR games for now.

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I need to acquire some of your sweat, Ichinin.

Just say the price.


Uhm...? I don't sweat that much anyways, unless i go for a long hike on a warm day in the summer, so if you are serious you have to wait 6 months...


The face of boo was just taking the piss. After that comment, who wouldn’t? :lol: :lol: :lol:

I’m dissolving into a fit of giggles.



The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Jan 2019, 4:42 pm

Ichinin wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
Ichinin wrote:
i get everything from teenagers and up staring at me as of o was a chocolate cupcake that they want to eat.


Holy crap, I can’t believe someone would talk that way about themself.

Why are you single, then??

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


Because:

1. on the commute to work, it's the wrong bloody place and time to ask a random stranger out. I saw one girl on the subway checking me out, later on i saw that she had tracked me down and had visited my dating profile.

2. when try to take pictures of myself for a profile i always think i look like crap and have a hard time to throw something up. I've also been told on dates and by a female friend that i look good, but i had a hard time believing it after years of being bullied in school.

3. I'm also not social enough or have a high enough sexdrive to be desperate for a girlfriend and ask every girl i meet for a date.

Honestly, i would love a GF (just not anybody) - but after years of unsuccessful dating, i'd prefer if girl/woman would contact me so i'm sure that she is really interested. I can get a GF if i want to, but i don't want what i can easily get. I'd rather spend time playing VR games for now.

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I need to acquire some of your sweat, Ichinin.

Just say the price.


Uhm...? I don't sweat that much anyways, unless i go for a long hike on a warm day in the summer, so if you are serious you have to wait 6 months...



Have you ever read the novel “Perfume” by Patrick Süskind?

Careful, If you sweat too much you may turn the women around to cannibals.



Ichinin
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04 Jan 2019, 6:52 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
Ichinin wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
Ichinin wrote:
i get everything from teenagers and up staring at me as of o was a chocolate cupcake that they want to eat.


Holy crap, I can’t believe someone would talk that way about themself.

Why are you single, then??

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


Because:

1. on the commute to work, it's the wrong bloody place and time to ask a random stranger out. I saw one girl on the subway checking me out, later on i saw that she had tracked me down and had visited my dating profile.

2. when try to take pictures of myself for a profile i always think i look like crap and have a hard time to throw something up. I've also been told on dates and by a female friend that i look good, but i had a hard time believing it after years of being bullied in school.

3. I'm also not social enough or have a high enough sexdrive to be desperate for a girlfriend and ask every girl i meet for a date.

Honestly, i would love a GF (just not anybody) - but after years of unsuccessful dating, i'd prefer if girl/woman would contact me so i'm sure that she is really interested. I can get a GF if i want to, but i don't want what i can easily get. I'd rather spend time playing VR games for now.

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I need to acquire some of your sweat, Ichinin.

Just say the price.


Uhm...? I don't sweat that much anyways, unless i go for a long hike on a warm day in the summer, so if you are serious you have to wait 6 months...


The face of boo was just taking the piss. After that comment, who wouldn’t? :lol: :lol: :lol:

I’m dissolving into a fit of giggles.


You think i were serious?


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hale_bopp
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05 Jan 2019, 12:55 am

Ichinin wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
Ichinin wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
Ichinin wrote:
i get everything from teenagers and up staring at me as of o was a chocolate cupcake that they want to eat.


Holy crap, I can’t believe someone would talk that way about themself.

Why are you single, then??

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


Because:

1. on the commute to work, it's the wrong bloody place and time to ask a random stranger out. I saw one girl on the subway checking me out, later on i saw that she had tracked me down and had visited my dating profile.

2. when try to take pictures of myself for a profile i always think i look like crap and have a hard time to throw something up. I've also been told on dates and by a female friend that i look good, but i had a hard time believing it after years of being bullied in school.

3. I'm also not social enough or have a high enough sexdrive to be desperate for a girlfriend and ask every girl i meet for a date.

Honestly, i would love a GF (just not anybody) - but after years of unsuccessful dating, i'd prefer if girl/woman would contact me so i'm sure that she is really interested. I can get a GF if i want to, but i don't want what i can easily get. I'd rather spend time playing VR games for now.

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I need to acquire some of your sweat, Ichinin.

Just say the price.


Uhm...? I don't sweat that much anyways, unless i go for a long hike on a warm day in the summer, so if you are serious you have to wait 6 months...


The face of boo was just taking the piss. After that comment, who wouldn’t? :lol: :lol: :lol:

I’m dissolving into a fit of giggles.


You think i were serious?


Assuming you think that's what people actually think, then yep. :lol: :lol:



The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Jan 2019, 6:37 am

^ You think I was kidding?



Ichinin
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05 Jan 2019, 4:08 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ You think I was kidding?


I know you are now.

Regardless, i don't care what she thinks, i know what has happened in my life.


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Runo Misaki
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06 Apr 2019, 12:44 pm

It may be legal but that doesn't mean it's not creepy. A 19 year old is still a teenager that just got out of high school a year ago while a 30 year old is a full grown adult that's probably old enough to have a child of their own. If a 30 year old man wants to date a 19 year old girl, he should get used to being called a cradle robber and a creep if he decides to tell people about his relationship. Just saying.