Worst decision - okcupid
20 Nov 2015, 2:19 pm
AR1500 wrote:
OK, here's where you went wrong: He asked you meet him and did you accept his invitation? The purpose of a site like that is to meet up IRL and not be online penpals. You should have followed up and made arrangements to go on an actual date. He disappeared because he likely found someone willing to meet him in person and thought you were just leading him on. If you really don't have the nerve to take an online correspondence offline, then dating sites are not for you
Why should I leave it up to him on when to meet? Men on dating sites must think they are God gift to women & they have to do whatever they want.
20 Nov 2015, 6:30 pm
AR1500 wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
I went on okcupid, I talked to this one guy , I thought he really liked me, we talked ALOT, one day, he disappeared, probably find a very beautiful woman to talk to. He did asked me to meet, we live in the same town. It really seems like when you talking to a guy, they can leave you without saying goodbye when another woman talks to him. I'm tired of blaming myself, I thought I wasn't pretty enough. I do want a boyfriend, but I don't know if I'm really ready to get one.
OK, here's where you went wrong: He asked you meet him and did you accept his invitation? The purpose of a site like that is to meet up IRL and not be online penpals. You should have followed up and made arrangements to go on an actual date. He disappeared because he likely found someone willing to meet him in person and thought you were just leading him on. If you really don't have the nerve to take an online correspondence offline, then dating sites are not for you.
CommanderKeen wrote:
I've noticed most of the girls on okcupid have super high standards. If you don't have a car and aren't upper middle class, you have a hard time on that site, if you're a guy. I think a lot of girls just get on there to try and find a guy that they can hook up with and have an easy life. I think that's the case more than wanting to meet someone who you actually care about and who cares about you. So, if you're a college student and a guy, I wouldn't even bother with it. You're better off joining a site where people just got to find people to have sex with, like fetlife. That is until you meet someone in person.
Fetlife isn't really that much of a hookup site. It's mainly a site for *sex nerds* to discuss fetishism, sexual deviance and compare notes.
Now when it comes to women looking for a serious relationship, it shouldn't come as a surprise that they expect you to have your s**t together and be financially stable. They are, and they're not looking to support a guy who isn't. They are plenty of college girls on okcupid and POF that would be open to meeting a male college student in the same situation so if that's you then just state it openly and stop chasing after professional women.
Obviously, you didn't read my other statement. Also, what is someone supposed to do if they're pursuing a doctorate, stay single the whole time they're in college? Most of the girls on there are not "professional". Most of them live with their parents and a lot of them, at least in my surrounding area, have higher standards for others than they do themselves. This isn't just true for a financial standpoint, but from a physical standpoint as well. I assume you're going to tell me how I'm wrong, but unless you've actually been to Baltimore, you really don't know how bad it is. Now, the girls in Virginia that I have seen on the site are way more open, but obviously they live too far away.
20 Nov 2015, 8:42 pm
Kitty4670 wrote:
Why should I leave it up to him on when to meet? Men on dating sites must think they are God gift to women & they have to do whatever they want.
If they do have someone else that will do what they want, why wouldn't they pursue that? Also, it should be a mutual decision on when to meet. If you didn't want to and he did, then there's a legitimate reason for him to move on. Yeah, it sucks because you liked him and you thought he really liked you.
21 Nov 2015, 2:49 am
CommanderKeen wrote:
AR1500 wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
I went on okcupid, I talked to this one guy , I thought he really liked me, we talked ALOT, one day, he disappeared, probably find a very beautiful woman to talk to. He did asked me to meet, we live in the same town. It really seems like when you talking to a guy, they can leave you without saying goodbye when another woman talks to him. I'm tired of blaming myself, I thought I wasn't pretty enough. I do want a boyfriend, but I don't know if I'm really ready to get one.
OK, here's where you went wrong: He asked you meet him and did you accept his invitation? The purpose of a site like that is to meet up IRL and not be online penpals. You should have followed up and made arrangements to go on an actual date. He disappeared because he likely found someone willing to meet him in person and thought you were just leading him on. If you really don't have the nerve to take an online correspondence offline, then dating sites are not for you.
CommanderKeen wrote:
I've noticed most of the girls on okcupid have super high standards. If you don't have a car and aren't upper middle class, you have a hard time on that site, if you're a guy. I think a lot of girls just get on there to try and find a guy that they can hook up with and have an easy life. I think that's the case more than wanting to meet someone who you actually care about and who cares about you. So, if you're a college student and a guy, I wouldn't even bother with it. You're better off joining a site where people just got to find people to have sex with, like fetlife. That is until you meet someone in person.
Fetlife isn't really that much of a hookup site. It's mainly a site for *sex nerds* to discuss fetishism, sexual deviance and compare notes.
Now when it comes to women looking for a serious relationship, it shouldn't come as a surprise that they expect you to have your s**t together and be financially stable. They are, and they're not looking to support a guy who isn't. They are plenty of college girls on okcupid and POF that would be open to meeting a male college student in the same situation so if that's you then just state it openly and stop chasing after professional women.
Obviously, you didn't read my other statement. Also, what is someone supposed to do if they're pursuing a doctorate, stay single the whole time they're in college? Most of the girls on there are not "professional". Most of them live with their parents and a lot of them, at least in my surrounding area, have higher standards for others than they do themselves. This isn't just true for a financial standpoint, but from a physical standpoint as well. I assume you're going to tell me how I'm wrong, but unless you've actually been to Baltimore, you really don't know how bad it is. Now, the girls in Virginia that I have seen on the site are way more open, but obviously they live too far away.
You're right: I've never been to Baltimore so I clearly haven't lived there either. And it sounds to me like after you finish your degree you might as well pack your bags and move away from there. Sometimes the problem with finding partners really *is* about where you live and sometimes the only real solution is to move elsewhere(if you can).
21 Nov 2015, 2:51 am
AR1500 wrote:
CommanderKeen wrote:
AR1500 wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
I went on okcupid, I talked to this one guy , I thought he really liked me, we talked ALOT, one day, he disappeared, probably find a very beautiful woman to talk to. He did asked me to meet, we live in the same town. It really seems like when you talking to a guy, they can leave you without saying goodbye when another woman talks to him. I'm tired of blaming myself, I thought I wasn't pretty enough. I do want a boyfriend, but I don't know if I'm really ready to get one.
OK, here's where you went wrong: He asked you meet him and did you accept his invitation? The purpose of a site like that is to meet up IRL and not be online penpals. You should have followed up and made arrangements to go on an actual date. He disappeared because he likely found someone willing to meet him in person and thought you were just leading him on. If you really don't have the nerve to take an online correspondence offline, then dating sites are not for you.
CommanderKeen wrote:
I've noticed most of the girls on okcupid have super high standards. If you don't have a car and aren't upper middle class, you have a hard time on that site, if you're a guy. I think a lot of girls just get on there to try and find a guy that they can hook up with and have an easy life. I think that's the case more than wanting to meet someone who you actually care about and who cares about you. So, if you're a college student and a guy, I wouldn't even bother with it. You're better off joining a site where people just got to find people to have sex with, like fetlife. That is until you meet someone in person.
Fetlife isn't really that much of a hookup site. It's mainly a site for *sex nerds* to discuss fetishism, sexual deviance and compare notes.
Now when it comes to women looking for a serious relationship, it shouldn't come as a surprise that they expect you to have your s**t together and be financially stable. They are, and they're not looking to support a guy who isn't. They are plenty of college girls on okcupid and POF that would be open to meeting a male college student in the same situation so if that's you then just state it openly and stop chasing after professional women.
Obviously, you didn't read my other statement. Also, what is someone supposed to do if they're pursuing a doctorate, stay single the whole time they're in college? Most of the girls on there are not "professional". Most of them live with their parents and a lot of them, at least in my surrounding area, have higher standards for others than they do themselves. This isn't just true for a financial standpoint, but from a physical standpoint as well. I assume you're going to tell me how I'm wrong, but unless you've actually been to Baltimore, you really don't know how bad it is. Now, the girls in Virginia that I have seen on the site are way more open, but obviously they live too far away.
You're right: I've never been to Baltimore so I clearly haven't lived there either. And it sounds to me like after you finish your degree you might as well pack your bags and move away from there. Sometimes the problem with finding partners really *is* about where you live and sometimes the only real solution is to move elsewhere(if you can).
I plan to move to rural Oregon.
21 Nov 2015, 3:21 am
CommanderKeen wrote:
AR1500 wrote:
CommanderKeen wrote:
AR1500 wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
I went on okcupid, I talked to this one guy , I thought he really liked me, we talked ALOT, one day, he disappeared, probably find a very beautiful woman to talk to. He did asked me to meet, we live in the same town. It really seems like when you talking to a guy, they can leave you without saying goodbye when another woman talks to him. I'm tired of blaming myself, I thought I wasn't pretty enough. I do want a boyfriend, but I don't know if I'm really ready to get one.
OK, here's where you went wrong: He asked you meet him and did you accept his invitation? The purpose of a site like that is to meet up IRL and not be online penpals. You should have followed up and made arrangements to go on an actual date. He disappeared because he likely found someone willing to meet him in person and thought you were just leading him on. If you really don't have the nerve to take an online correspondence offline, then dating sites are not for you.
CommanderKeen wrote:
I've noticed most of the girls on okcupid have super high standards. If you don't have a car and aren't upper middle class, you have a hard time on that site, if you're a guy. I think a lot of girls just get on there to try and find a guy that they can hook up with and have an easy life. I think that's the case more than wanting to meet someone who you actually care about and who cares about you. So, if you're a college student and a guy, I wouldn't even bother with it. You're better off joining a site where people just got to find people to have sex with, like fetlife. That is until you meet someone in person.
Fetlife isn't really that much of a hookup site. It's mainly a site for *sex nerds* to discuss fetishism, sexual deviance and compare notes.
Now when it comes to women looking for a serious relationship, it shouldn't come as a surprise that they expect you to have your s**t together and be financially stable. They are, and they're not looking to support a guy who isn't. They are plenty of college girls on okcupid and POF that would be open to meeting a male college student in the same situation so if that's you then just state it openly and stop chasing after professional women.
Obviously, you didn't read my other statement. Also, what is someone supposed to do if they're pursuing a doctorate, stay single the whole time they're in college? Most of the girls on there are not "professional". Most of them live with their parents and a lot of them, at least in my surrounding area, have higher standards for others than they do themselves. This isn't just true for a financial standpoint, but from a physical standpoint as well. I assume you're going to tell me how I'm wrong, but unless you've actually been to Baltimore, you really don't know how bad it is. Now, the girls in Virginia that I have seen on the site are way more open, but obviously they live too far away.
You're right: I've never been to Baltimore so I clearly haven't lived there either. And it sounds to me like after you finish your degree you might as well pack your bags and move away from there. Sometimes the problem with finding partners really *is* about where you live and sometimes the only real solution is to move elsewhere(if you can).
I plan to move to rural Oregon.
Suit yourself, but your dating prospects won't be any better there. Usually there are more single men in rural places than single women. The best place in the country to be a single guy is New York City where single women outnumber single men by 200,000.
21 Nov 2015, 4:26 am
AR1500 wrote:
CommanderKeen wrote:
AR1500 wrote:
CommanderKeen wrote:
AR1500 wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
I went on okcupid, I talked to this one guy , I thought he really liked me, we talked ALOT, one day, he disappeared, probably find a very beautiful woman to talk to. He did asked me to meet, we live in the same town. It really seems like when you talking to a guy, they can leave you without saying goodbye when another woman talks to him. I'm tired of blaming myself, I thought I wasn't pretty enough. I do want a boyfriend, but I don't know if I'm really ready to get one.
OK, here's where you went wrong: He asked you meet him and did you accept his invitation? The purpose of a site like that is to meet up IRL and not be online penpals. You should have followed up and made arrangements to go on an actual date. He disappeared because he likely found someone willing to meet him in person and thought you were just leading him on. If you really don't have the nerve to take an online correspondence offline, then dating sites are not for you.
CommanderKeen wrote:
I've noticed most of the girls on okcupid have super high standards. If you don't have a car and aren't upper middle class, you have a hard time on that site, if you're a guy. I think a lot of girls just get on there to try and find a guy that they can hook up with and have an easy life. I think that's the case more than wanting to meet someone who you actually care about and who cares about you. So, if you're a college student and a guy, I wouldn't even bother with it. You're better off joining a site where people just got to find people to have sex with, like fetlife. That is until you meet someone in person.
Fetlife isn't really that much of a hookup site. It's mainly a site for *sex nerds* to discuss fetishism, sexual deviance and compare notes.
Now when it comes to women looking for a serious relationship, it shouldn't come as a surprise that they expect you to have your s**t together and be financially stable. They are, and they're not looking to support a guy who isn't. They are plenty of college girls on okcupid and POF that would be open to meeting a male college student in the same situation so if that's you then just state it openly and stop chasing after professional women.
Obviously, you didn't read my other statement. Also, what is someone supposed to do if they're pursuing a doctorate, stay single the whole time they're in college? Most of the girls on there are not "professional". Most of them live with their parents and a lot of them, at least in my surrounding area, have higher standards for others than they do themselves. This isn't just true for a financial standpoint, but from a physical standpoint as well. I assume you're going to tell me how I'm wrong, but unless you've actually been to Baltimore, you really don't know how bad it is. Now, the girls in Virginia that I have seen on the site are way more open, but obviously they live too far away.
You're right: I've never been to Baltimore so I clearly haven't lived there either. And it sounds to me like after you finish your degree you might as well pack your bags and move away from there. Sometimes the problem with finding partners really *is* about where you live and sometimes the only real solution is to move elsewhere(if you can).
I plan to move to rural Oregon.
Suit yourself, but your dating prospects won't be any better there. Usually there are more single men in rural places than single women. The best place in the country to be a single guy is New York City where single women outnumber single men by 200,000.
Where the crime rate is sky high, the rent is sky high, the number of hardcore progressives are high(I'm Libertarian), no self defense laws and non-stop traffic. No thank you. I'm moving away from Maryland to get away from all that. My prospects will be way better, because even though there may be less single women, the quality will be greater.
Last edited by CommanderKeen on 21 Nov 2015, 4:31 am, edited 2 times in total.
21 Nov 2015, 6:56 pm
AR1500 wrote:
Go out where? To bars? To nightclubs?
Places like that are terrible places to meet women unless you get really lucky or have really good social skills! Most of the women you meet there are drunk and just wanna flirt with you and give out fake phone #s.
There are however, plenty of internet sites and forums for people who have common interests and one place you could start is meetup.com in your area. Even though the social gatherings don't always have a huge turnout it can be useful for connecting with local people who share the same interests. But a word of caution: It is not a dating site! Keep your expectations low and don't assume that women there necessarily are going to be anything more than casual friends or acquaintances.
There are numerous places to go to meet people that does not involve drunk women. O.o
I do agree with meet ups and social gatherings though.
22 Nov 2015, 1:30 am
dobyfm wrote:
AR1500 wrote:
Go out where? To bars? To nightclubs?
Places like that are terrible places to meet women unless you get really lucky or have really good social skills! Most of the women you meet there are drunk and just wanna flirt with you and give out fake phone #s.
There are however, plenty of internet sites and forums for people who have common interests and one place you could start is meetup.com in your area. Even though the social gatherings don't always have a huge turnout it can be useful for connecting with local people who share the same interests. But a word of caution: It is not a dating site! Keep your expectations low and don't assume that women there necessarily are going to be anything more than casual friends or acquaintances.
There are numerous places to go to meet people that does not involve drunk women. O.o
I do agree with meet ups and social gatherings though.
Social gatherings and other social activities in general aren't good places for Aspies to meet each other. Online websites for people with shared interests really seem to work though.
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