Why is it girls have an easier time getting dates than guys?

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Pineapplejuicex
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02 Dec 2015, 12:34 pm

Spiderpig wrote:
Probably because making it hard and risky to approach the girls is the whole point. It weeds out would-be suitors who get forcefully turned away by some badass, and those who, knowing what's good for them, keep a low profile.


No, it's likely because you are unlikely to meet a person who's number you want to ask to invite out on a date if you are at home, chilling alone or with one or two of your closest friends.

Also, who is the mysterious "badass" that turns men away from girls in a club? If you offer to buy a girl a drink or ask her to dance, the absolute worst that might happen is her saying "no thank you".



AR1500
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02 Dec 2015, 1:39 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Friends first, I believe, provides substance to relationships.



It often really DOES. The thing is that you don't want to be *that* guy who assumes that befriending a woman will guarantee that she'll wanna date you. Often when friendship leads to romance it is initially unexpected: There's no ulterior motive from either person at the very beginning.



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02 Dec 2015, 1:57 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Dating isn't really a thing in the UK. It's still seen as a bit of a strange American import. You hear people saying, thank goodness we don't do that here. We just hang out with someone until one day you're drunk enough to admit you fancy them.
Dating isn't a thing there? Really? :o Maybe that's a good system because in my brief relationship I hated the dating part and enjoyed the subsequent hanging out part. I really didn't understand why I had to get to know the girl in the worst possible environment, a noisy bar where I could hardly hear her speak.


Brits still go to bars, well we call them pubs. But Here's the experience of a Canadian discovering British dating culture.

http://www.expatica.com/uk/insider-view ... 04338.html



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02 Dec 2015, 3:15 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
I dunno, all the single guys I know who are over 30 are all pretty picky. No one seems to be good enough for them. They've also got used to their own lives and their own habits and don't seem to be able to let anyone in.

There really is no truth in the idea that one gender has it easier. Broken people of either gender are inferior and not going to be selected. That's the way it is. If you are sub-standard, you are not attractive. Doesn't matter what gender you are.
So that's my problem, it's just because I'm broken and inferior. That explains everything. :o
No I think that was more an example of idiocy.
Awww, what did I do?


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02 Dec 2015, 3:31 pm

Noone has it easier. That is all I have to say.



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02 Dec 2015, 3:48 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
I dunno, all the single guys I know who are over 30 are all pretty picky. No one seems to be good enough for them. They've also got used to their own lives and their own habits and don't seem to be able to let anyone in.

There really is no truth in the idea that one gender has it easier. Broken people of either gender are inferior and not going to be selected. That's the way it is. If you are sub-standard, you are not attractive. Doesn't matter what gender you are.
So that's my problem, it's just because I'm broken and inferior. That explains everything. :o
No I think that was more an example of idiocy.
Awww, what did I do?


I think she meant my original comment, not you. I was in a really bad mood that day and wish I hadn't said it. It's too derogatory and therefore not really contributing anything to the discussion.



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02 Dec 2015, 4:31 pm

hurtloam wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
I dunno, all the single guys I know who are over 30 are all pretty picky. No one seems to be good enough for them. They've also got used to their own lives and their own habits and don't seem to be able to let anyone in.

There really is no truth in the idea that one gender has it easier. Broken people of either gender are inferior and not going to be selected. That's the way it is. If you are sub-standard, you are not attractive. Doesn't matter what gender you are.
So that's my problem, it's just because I'm broken and inferior. That explains everything. :o
No I think that was more an example of idiocy.
Awww, what did I do?
I think she meant my original comment, not you. I was in a really bad mood that day and wish I hadn't said it. It's too derogatory and therefore not really contributing anything to the discussion.
Oh, OK.


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02 Dec 2015, 5:39 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Here's another thing men may not take into consideration because they've never heard women say this. I think it's a conversation we have amongst ourselves.

I hear women expressing the feeling that there are so many women for men to choose from that there's not much we can do to compete. It's like men are kids in a candy shop and can have anything they want, so the woman who is looking for someone to settle down with is going to have a hard time finding someone who is willing.

This isn't necessarily my personal view, but it's a view I have heard expressed often by people trying to explain how the world of dating works, but it's only served to knock my confidence more.

Some women feel they can't compete and feel like if the man they like hasn't tried to get to know them better then it means he's not interested in her and prefers someone else.


Maybe for upper middle class and above men. There's just about as many men as women so this whole men are scarce is just a false reality made by pretending men not deemed good enough or as real men don't exist. Reality is there's a bunch of men deemed as trash who would line up to date most women. I'm one.



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03 Dec 2015, 1:30 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
I dunno, all the single guys I know who are over 30 are all pretty picky. No one seems to be good enough for them. They've also got used to their own lives and their own habits and don't seem to be able to let anyone in.

There really is no truth in the idea that one gender has it easier. Broken people of either gender are inferior and not going to be selected. That's the way it is. If you are sub-standard, you are not attractive. Doesn't matter what gender you are.
So that's my problem, it's just because I'm broken and inferior. That explains everything. :o
No I think that was more an example of idiocy.
Awww, what did I do?


I mean the idea that having a condition doesn't make someone inferior or mean that they have no chance of a relationship is idiotic. You didn't do anything.


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03 Dec 2015, 2:35 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
I dunno, all the single guys I know who are over 30 are all pretty picky. No one seems to be good enough for them. They've also got used to their own lives and their own habits and don't seem to be able to let anyone in.

There really is no truth in the idea that one gender has it easier. Broken people of either gender are inferior and not going to be selected. That's the way it is. If you are sub-standard, you are not attractive. Doesn't matter what gender you are.
So that's my problem, it's just because I'm broken and inferior. That explains everything. :o
No I think that was more an example of idiocy.
Awww, what did I do?
I mean the idea that having a condition doesn't make someone inferior or mean that they have no chance of a relationship is idiotic. You didn't do anything.
So maybe I'm not inferior. Hooray :)


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03 Dec 2015, 4:49 pm

sly279 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Here's another thing men may not take into consideration because they've never heard women say this. I think it's a conversation we have amongst ourselves.

I hear women expressing the feeling that there are so many women for men to choose from that there's not much we can do to compete. It's like men are kids in a candy shop and can have anything they want, so the woman who is looking for someone to settle down with is going to have a hard time finding someone who is willing.

This isn't necessarily my personal view, but it's a view I have heard expressed often by people trying to explain how the world of dating works, but it's only served to knock my confidence more.

Some women feel they can't compete and feel like if the man they like hasn't tried to get to know them better then it means he's not interested in her and prefers someone else.


Maybe for upper middle class and above men. There's just about as many men as women so this whole men are scarce is just a false reality made by pretending men not deemed good enough or as real men don't exist. Reality is there's a bunch of men deemed as trash who would line up to date most women. I'm one.


I never said men were scarce. I'm saying that women who feel they can't compete with women whom they perceive as more attractive than themselves can think that men would rather have those attractive women instead.

Women can also suffer from low self esteem. It's not about numbers, it's about our perception of what the opposite sex wants from us. If we feel that other women have that appeal rather than us, regardless of the amount of men around, we can still feel unlovable.

Just as men can think, "women can have anyone they want" women also can suffer from the misconception that "men can have anyone they want" i.e. anyone can feel like "no one wants me". It isn't restricted by gender.

Also the older a woman gets sometimes their self esteem can go down, it shouldn't, but they can feel like all the single men they meet are far too young for them and wouldn't give them a second glance. Whereas no one bats an eyelid if a 33year old man goes out with a 22 year old. Mens dating poo,l for that reason, can feel a little bigger.



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04 Dec 2015, 6:03 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
I can see that making sense for some...but if you're not a female who wears stuff like that regularly, it wouldn't make sense to wear it to get dates since they'd eventually realize you're trying to fit a certain image that's not really you or they might find your usual style unattractive.


True. I think people should wear whatever to dates. I'm one of those people who doesn't really notice when someone dresses up.



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04 Dec 2015, 6:09 am

Easy = pointless. This isn't the free lunch subforum...


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04 Dec 2015, 6:34 am

Quote:
Why is it girls have an easier time getting dates than guys?

i am not sure that girls have an easier time "getting" dates than men, but i do think they often have more choice foisted upon them.
in most mammalian biology, males are able to copulate many times per day and so they can impregnate whatever lets them impregnate them without fear of their gene's benefactor pool being sullied by a single dud female who gave birth to one of his progeny. for this reason, there is less emphasis on considered selection, and more emphasis on casting their "seed" wide and far.

females generally have a gestation period that limits them to having much fewer offspring in the course of their lives than males can potentially have. therefore it is more important for the female to select suitable genes to fertilize her in order for her to have improved traits in her biological descendency.

i have no idea how this imperative is interwoven into all forms of life but it is. no animal is ever truly cognizant of every reason for it's attraction to something, but they all follow a plan that allows for evolution and evolution is the prevention of inevitable extinction.



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04 Dec 2015, 5:54 pm

b9 wrote:
Quote:
Why is it girls have an easier time getting dates than guys?
i am not sure that girls have an easier time "getting" dates than men, but i do think they often have more choice foisted upon them.
in most mammalian biology, males are able to copulate many times per day and so they can impregnate whatever lets them impregnate them without fear of their gene's benefactor pool being sullied by a single dud female who gave birth to one of his progeny. for this reason, there is less emphasis on considered selection, and more emphasis on casting their "seed" wide and far.

females generally have a gestation period that limits them to having much fewer offspring in the course of their lives than males can potentially have. therefore it is more important for the female to select suitable genes to fertilize her in order for her to have improved traits in her biological descendency.

i have no idea how this imperative is interwoven into all forms of life but it is. no animal is ever truly cognizant of every reason for it's attraction to something, but they all follow a plan that allows for evolution and evolution is the prevention of inevitable extinction.
That's very interesting. Maybe men still have prehistoric wiring that makes them polygamous. I find this difficult to deal with because I want to be in a monogamous relationship yet there are too many girls to choose from. A really pretty girl is the "perfect girl" yet another girl who's really pretty in a different way is also perfect. Perhaps this is a vestigial remnant from prehistoric times.

It was ok in the old days. In the paleolithic you had your tribe of ~100 people. In ancient or medieval times you had your village of ~100 people. Nowadays we have the global village, billions of people. More choices make it so much harder to choose.

How does this apply to me? I found a vein of girls on OK Cupid, several of whom want to get to know me. They're all really nice but in different ways. Who's to say if one kind of pretty is better than another type of pretty? They all have really nice personalities but in different ways. How can I say one personality is better than another?

I feel very conflicted, because even though we're just chatting on OK Cupid when I start chatting to a new girl, I feel like I'm cheating on the last girl, who I haven't yet cut ties with. I worry they'll find out about each other. It overwhelms me. It confuses me. Having too many pretty girls take interest in me makes me feel like I'm drinking from a fire hose.


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04 Dec 2015, 6:21 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
b9 wrote:
Quote:
Why is it girls have an easier time getting dates than guys?
i am not sure that girls have an easier time "getting" dates than men, but i do think they often have more choice foisted upon them.
in most mammalian biology, males are able to copulate many times per day and so they can impregnate whatever lets them impregnate them without fear of their gene's benefactor pool being sullied by a single dud female who gave birth to one of his progeny. for this reason, there is less emphasis on considered selection, and more emphasis on casting their "seed" wide and far.

females generally have a gestation period that limits them to having much fewer offspring in the course of their lives than males can potentially have. therefore it is more important for the female to select suitable genes to fertilize her in order for her to have improved traits in her biological descendency.

i have no idea how this imperative is interwoven into all forms of life but it is. no animal is ever truly cognizant of every reason for it's attraction to something, but they all follow a plan that allows for evolution and evolution is the prevention of inevitable extinction.
That's very interesting. Maybe men still have prehistoric wiring that makes them polygamous. I find this difficult to deal with because I want to be in a monogamous relationship yet there are too many girls to choose from. A really pretty girl is the "perfect girl" yet another girl who's really pretty in a different way is also perfect. Perhaps this is a vestigial remnant from prehistoric times.

It was ok in the old days. In the paleolithic you had your tribe of ~100 people. In ancient or medieval times you had your village of ~100 people. Nowadays we have the global village, billions of people. More choices make it so much harder to choose.

How does this apply to me? I found a vein of girls on OK Cupid, several of whom want to get to know me. They're all really nice but in different ways. Who's to say if one kind of pretty is better than another type of pretty? They all have really nice personalities but in different ways. How can I say one personality is better than another?

I feel very conflicted, because even though we're just chatting on OK Cupid when I start chatting to a new girl, I feel like I'm cheating on the last girl, who I haven't yet cut ties with. I worry they'll find out about each other. It overwhelms me. It confuses me. Having too many pretty girls take interest in me makes me feel like I'm drinking from a fire hose.


Chat away. To as many girls as you like. Until you're dating someone exclusively, the world is your oyster!