Confidence is an innate trait. You can't build it

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Lifeistoohard
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24 Nov 2015, 9:52 am

Some people are just born with less confidence/self worth than others. It's genetics.

Emotional fragility should be accepted more. We need to stop calling people p*ssies and give them some spare whining time. Seriously.



Fnord
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24 Nov 2015, 10:03 am

There was a time in my life when the thought of having to address a crowd would make me sick. Since then, I've been able to develop the confidence to address entire church congregations, and even sing to them without accompaniment.

James Earl Jones - the voice of Darth Vader - had a severe stuttering problem when he was a child. He has since developed the confidence to become a world-renowned actor and voice-over artist.

Confidence can be learned.


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neilson_wheels
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24 Nov 2015, 10:15 am

Everything above is true apart from the title.

You can build confidence, I'm not saying it is easy or without challenges.



Kurgan
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24 Nov 2015, 12:24 pm

I've built confidence. Because my parents would bring me down a lot, because of bullying and all that, this was low when I was 20. Since then, I've almost finished my master's degree, I've benchpressed 380 lbs, and I have a hot long-term girlfriend.

Some people have inflated egos because they get told that they're "intelligent in their own way", that everything wrong is the teacher's fault, or because they MySpace-angled pictures on Facebook get comments such as "Oh my gosh u're beautiful!". If any of these people tell you you can't do anything, tell them to go f**k themselves.


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GiantHockeyFan
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24 Nov 2015, 3:09 pm

I've definitely built confidence over the years although I do have a long way to go. I found what really helped was Toastmasters. A diverse group who won't judge and was always supportive. I credit them with helping me land my current job as I aced the interview and was the top candidate out of 450 applicants.



CommanderKeen
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24 Nov 2015, 5:37 pm

Get to the point where you're deadlifting close to 400 pounds. You'll at least get some confidence. I have spent the past 5 years building up my confidence. Not just through exercise, but by other means as well. I am James Bond compared to how I used to be.



B19
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24 Nov 2015, 6:07 pm

I am far more confident than I was as a young person. I have been confronted by many obstacles in life and learned that I can survive, cope with and overcome even the most difficult situations - parenting three children, supporting five people financially and emotionally and caring for a partner who became paralysed from the neck down taught me that steel (and confidence) is forged in the fire. Of course you can build it - though not always in the ways you would wish. You build it in the toughest times, not the easy ones. Emotional fragility doesn't rule out the possibility. It's just another thing to cope with, when you have to. Nothing much scares me now, and I think I will cope as long as I have my basic faculties, and even if I go blind, (which is slowly happening), I will cope somehow.



cathylynn
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24 Nov 2015, 6:17 pm

having been able to handle many ups and downs has given me the confidence an alcoholic father couldn't impart. genetically, my set point is to be content. i was a happy baby. a rocky childhood knocked me down a peg. learning that we all have worth just due to being human built me back up. along with the confidence that i can deal with whatever is thrown at me, because i have in the past.