Question about Disclosing my aspergers

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Gauldivic
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Age: 36
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28 Nov 2015, 8:21 pm

Well here I am again lol. I have been talking to this girl on eHarmony and I was wondering if/and/or/when should I let her know that I have aspergers?



izzeme
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Joined: 4 Apr 2011
Age: 37
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30 Nov 2015, 4:28 am

I personally would wait untill you have had at least 1 succesful offline date, and tell them in person.
This means: disclose near the end of the 2nd or 3rd date. At that point, she knows you well enough to doubt any negative stereotypes she might have.

The first date is a bit early, but might be appropriate, if you feel like you made (too) many mistakes, but don't wait untill the end in that case: do it around half-way so you have time to explain.
The 4th date is too late, you will have shared several secrets and personality quirks, and aspergers is a big one.

During the online messaging (before the first date) is way too early: the stereotypes about aspergers are such that disclosing before actually meeting will (most likely) scare her away



dobyfm
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Joined: 21 Jun 2013
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30 Nov 2015, 2:25 pm

Honestly, it should be whenever you are comfortable with letting her know.

Remember: If she seems bothered by it then it is not your problem. It just means she was not the right one for you.



Pineapplejuicex
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Joined: 19 Nov 2015
Age: 40
Posts: 72

30 Nov 2015, 2:27 pm

After 2-3 dates is what usually do. Not so early to scare them off, not so late as to have lied about it.