How do you approach women if you're shy?

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darkphantomx1
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02 Mar 2015, 6:45 pm

How do you approach women even when you're shy? That's my problem. I can't get myself to talk to girls because i'm afraid I will get rejected. And when I do talk to women, I never have anything to say so they think i'm uninterested. How do you overcome your shyness?



kraftiekortie
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02 Mar 2015, 7:25 pm

The best thing to do is attend a lecture where there will be a discussion afterwards. Then say something that will make someone think (it doesn't have to be controversial). Maybe a woman, interested in what you said, might come up to you and start to talk to you about what you said.

I think meeting people like this is productive.



KayteeKay
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02 Mar 2015, 10:46 pm

Girls/women are people too -- you talk to them in exactly the same manner in which you talk to boys/men/your mom.

Do you have any female friends? If not, you might want to try to make some (to get comfy hanging out with women) BEFORE trying to land a girlfriend.



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03 Mar 2015, 3:35 am

Drink alcohol= instant courage!


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Ichinin
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03 Mar 2015, 8:31 am

Talk to her like as if she is a normal human being, do not talk to her as if she would be the woman of your dreams - then the brain shuts down.

If you talk to her you get to know her. For all you know that girl you just saw and so much want to be with - could be a nazi or a drug addict - do not let the surface fool you.



BRew23
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03 Mar 2015, 8:34 am

You have to be more self-confident. I'm agree with KayteeKay, you should talk with girls the same manner in which you talk to your friends. You shouldn't afraid them. I think you should better start talking with girls by ethernet. There are a lot of sites for dating like kovla.com/datings/us/austin. On such web-sites I think it would be much more comfortable for you to start the dialogue with girl you like.



darkphantomx1
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03 Mar 2015, 9:53 am

KayteeKay wrote:
Girls/women are people too -- you talk to them in exactly the same manner in which you talk to boys/men


Ehhh I doubt guys want to discuss their "pretty women" collection/habit to girls they meet.



kraftiekortie
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03 Mar 2015, 10:10 am

Just talk to women like they are people. They like that the best.



darkphantomx1
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03 Mar 2015, 12:18 pm

Yah the thing is though is that I suck at talking to people unless its something im interested in such as video games, superhero movies, or the NFL which explains why all of my friends are guys. I doubt most girls could care less about owning noobs in call of duty/runescape or omg Thanos is gonna star in Avengers 3!

I really have no idea how to talk to people other then just ask dumb silly questions. So yea i'm not blessed with social communication skillz.



kraftiekortie
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03 Mar 2015, 2:54 pm

There are some women who like NFL football. Many of them are quite feminine otherwise.

Maybe go to a sports bar. Order some ribs and beer/soda. Nurse those, so you don't have to spend too much bucks. Then tip the waiter plenty if you've stayed at your booth awhile.

Or, if you could afford it, go to a football game. You'll see plenty of gorgeous women who wear the jersey of their favorite players.

Or hang out in the parking lot of the stadium.



goldfish21
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03 Mar 2015, 3:15 pm

Use your strengths & get in touch and communicate via text. Email, personal ads, dating sites, dating/hookup apps - thanks to the internet there are plenty of ways to approach new potential partners that don't involve actually approaching them IRL for first contact. Then meet them for a date.. and perhaps after a number of dates like this, you might not be quite as shy about approaching someone in real life.

But then again, maybe that will never really change. FTR I've never approached someone IRL and asked them out. In part because I've been shy about it, but also because I'm gay and you never know for sure who is or isn't gay, so it's really really safe & convenient for me to use internet text based communication to meet guys. I don't hang out in gay bars or anything so I'm rarely around a gay guy I find attractive and would want to ask out, anyways. Plus it seems that MOST gay guys have taken to using the net/apps for the reasons I described. I guess the scenesters at gay bars are more open to approaching each other in person - dunno, not my thing.

But yeah, if it's too difficult in person.. use the interwebs/apps etc.


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KayteeKay
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03 Mar 2015, 8:19 pm

darkphantomx1 wrote:
Yah the thing is though is that I suck at talking to people unless its something im interested in such as video games, superhero movies, or the NFL which explains why all of my friends are guys. I doubt most girls could care less about owning noobs in call of duty/runescape or omg Thanos is gonna star in Avengers 3!

I really have no idea how to talk to people other then just ask dumb silly questions. So yea i'm not blessed with social communication skillz.



There are plenty of women who are really into an NFL team, videogames, comic books, action movies, etc. -- so my suggestion would be to go places where you are likely to find them (and then talk to them in the same manner you speak to *people*). The more you practice, the easier (and thus less scary) it gets!

A great way to get more comfy talking to people (in general) is Toastmasters + a (very) part-time job (1-2 nights/week) bartending -- the latter is the best way I know to learn/practice the superficial chit-chat that folks on the spectrum often have a hard time with! Plus, a sports bar is a place where you're likely to encounter women who are into sports :-)

I was into comics in high school (anything Neil Gaiman or X-men, mostly) and used to volunteer at local comic book shows, ComiCon, etc. -- in exchange for free admission :-) I also did some work as an extra on a few sci-fi TV shows that filmed in my neighborhood (it was free to sign up with an extras agency, there's a lot of sitting around & craft services rocks).

Good luck!



MichaelBo
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26 Nov 2015, 10:27 am

This is very common problem. I think you should try some exercises to solve it. You can try to read pick up forums or to training, it works well, but it's a little scary too. You could also try online conversation at start. If you are interesting person she will like you even without personal meeting. Dating sites is good idea too, but there are a lot of scammers and gold-diggers, so try to be careful. I used only one https://www.bridge-of-love.com and not for finding "real love", but for conversation with beautiful girlfriends. It's good experience.



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26 Nov 2015, 12:22 pm

Just lie to them and say you make a lot of money, money is what makes the world go round.


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WantToHaveALife
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26 Nov 2015, 5:31 pm

be glad you are asking this question at age 20



The_Face_of_Boo
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26 Nov 2015, 5:34 pm

By being not shy.