Relationships
I've had an extremely hard time getting into relationships. I'm not exactly handsome or have great social skills. My ability to connect with people is completely shot. My self esteem is pretty much at rock bottom due to among other things never being accepted by my peers and not having anything in the way of skills, etc that I can really take pride in. On top of that where ever I go, I tend to be a very poor fit when compared to the people living in the region in terms of hobbies, upbringing, and beliefs. All of this has pretty much ensured that I have no prospects for dating and at 35 I'm at the point of giving up.
So no, you're not the only one who feels this way.
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Diagnosed ASD 4/22/16
All magic comes with a price! - Rumplestiltskin
I don't make enough money and never will sadly. Though that's only one gate of many. I'm just not generally what women call a real man. I'm not well paid, I don't drive a big truck, I'm bit of a germaphobe so not into getting muddy or outdoors stuff too much besides some camping/hiking, I have anxiety, I don't kill things, I'm non violent and I don't have confidence due to having no experience with women and being raised to show emotions. Really male child peen shouldn't be allowed to be raised by only women as it leads to a man women find unattractive. Anyways sadly there's a over abundance of worthless men due to the poop economy. Not a lot of "real" jobs to go around.
Sorry you're alone, how did you have a boyfriend if you never dated? 0.o
Sorry you're alone, how did you have a boyfriend if you never dated? 0.o
I met him at a workshop where we worked together.
Sorry you're alone, how did you have a boyfriend if you never dated? 0.o
I met him at a workshop where we worked together.
And just decided to be a couple without any dates/hangouts? Seems bazaar to me.
Sorry you're alone, how did you have a boyfriend if you never dated? 0.o
I met him at a workshop where we worked together.
And just decided to be a couple without any dates/hangouts? Seems bazaar to me.
Workplace crushes, probably.
My first gf, never technically went on a first date back at school. Just asked her to be my gf because things were mutual, did sleep over her house once.
That's how it always worked for me. I've never dated, and wife and me just got together without any dating. We didn't even ask if we were together or not either, rather we planned our engagement a few months later.
Sorry you're alone, how did you have a boyfriend if you never dated? 0.o
I met him at a workshop where we worked together.
And just decided to be a couple without any dates/hangouts? Seems bazaar to me.
He saw me from across the room & he knew what he wanted. Later he asked to be my boyfriend & I ran away from him. When we were in a relationship, he never asked me out, we hung out together at work & we went on group outings (I know it wasn't the same as dating)
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,470
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
That's how it always worked for me. I've never dated, and wife and me just got together without any dating. We didn't even ask if we were together or not either, rather we planned our engagement a few months later.
How did you plan the engagement, if you and your wife never mutually agreed to be together before it? One of you just told the other 'we're getting engaged' and that was it.
It almost seems your way of getting relationships isn't the neurodiverse way but more specifically the psychic way.
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We won't go back.
AnonymousAnonymous
Veteran
Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 70,186
Location: Portland, Oregon
My current GF and I are dating secretly. I told her that my mom would get very pissed off if my mom ever found out that I was dating. If my mom knew that I was dating, she would call the police on me and my GF.
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Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat!
That's how it always worked for me. I've never dated, and wife and me just got together without any dating. We didn't even ask if we were together or not either, rather we planned our engagement a few months later.
How did you plan the engagement, if you and your wife never mutually agreed to be together before it? One of you just told the other 'we're getting engaged' and that was it.
It almost seems your way of getting relationships isn't the neurodiverse way but more specifically the psychic way.
Yes seems confusing to me a date is anything when a girl and guy get together romantically. Go to a self serve ice cream with your gf that's a date. Go see a movie with a girl you kiss and like romantically that'd be a date. Dates could be any activity and doesn't have to be walking up to person"wanna go on a date" fact I've never seen anyone do that or even mention date in any sentence when getting to together. It's only later when talking to a 3rd party such things are called dates.
So from what I gather, this is a case of one person in their mind deciding the two are a couple and in these cases the other is ok and feels same, however in most cases the other feels they are being harassed and stalked. Very interesting I see how these cases could have gone badly. Maybe I'm naive but I'd be asking the woman if we were a couple and I'd need some kind of get togethers, not just hey I saw you few times at work now your my gf. But then maybe I just need to know more about a person besides their looks before I'd want to be romantically involved in a relationship
One of us brought up the subject, and then we started to plan it. So I guess that was when we confirmed we were together.
nick007
Veteran
Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,125
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA
I had 3 girlfriends & I never really went on a date with any of em. We met on forums & became a couple. The 1st two girlfriends were mostly online & I met up with my current one a couple times before we moved in together. We just hung out mostly when we did meet. We never really did the whole going out thing.
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"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
"Hear all, trust nothing"
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