Want to be in a relationship but don't know where to start

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TheAllanMuir
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12 Mar 2016, 3:56 pm

Hello all I'm 22 and I've been feeling this "hole" inside of me. An emotional one I've wanted to be in a relationship since high school but spent two and a half years being homeschooled (big mistake) but was in a school for the last two years that a very poor guy-girl ratio so my question is this. Where do I start? I tried the online dating shtick but the "matches" it presents me with I'm not attracted to. I honestly am in way over my head and have no idea what I'm doing. Anyone in my situation before or anyone who can help please respond. Thanks.



Alliekit
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14 Mar 2016, 6:54 pm

Hi I know you said that you already tried online dating bit honestly I'd give it another go. I was on ok cupid and I took me 2 years to meet someone who I am now in a relationship with. If it helps there are alot of tips to help you with online dating and I have found that to be the best site (I've tried a few different one hahah)

If not maybe it would be worth joing a social club or group of some kind

Also I have been exactly where you are I was home schooled for 3 years and felt that massive hole



yellowtamarin
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15 Mar 2016, 5:00 am

Yeah, OkCupid tries to help you along by showing who "matches more highly" with you, but it doesn't prevent you from checking out every other profile on there as well. There might not be anyone suitable on there this month, but people break up all the time so I see no harm in keeping a profile up and checking in on who is on there.

Sounds like maybe you were using eHarmony? I tried that and it gave me a tiny handful of matches and didn't allow me to see anyone else (as far as I could tell) and so I found it pretty useless. Try OkCupid :)



Alliekit
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15 Mar 2016, 6:57 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
Sounds like maybe you were using eHarmony? I tried that and it gave me a tiny handful of matches and didn't allow me to see anyone else (as far as I could tell) and so I found it pretty useless. Try OkCupid :)


I also tried eHarmony and found it was rubbish at matching. I also tried plenty of fish but that wasn't very good either

If you do join okcupid they have these questions you can answer that increase the accuracy of your matches :)



The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Mar 2016, 7:07 am

rdos
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15 Mar 2016, 7:42 am

Alliekit wrote:
If you do join okcupid they have these questions you can answer that increase the accuracy of your matches :)


Only to a minor degree, and there are no questions that can make OkC match you with only neurodiverse people. I still have my experimental account, and sometimes I get high matches that appears to be neurodiverse, but that appears to be because I selected "polyamory" and "asexual", and also answered those kind of questions like that. For somebody more mainstream in the relationship area, I cannot see any possibility for neurodiverse people to get mostly neurodiverse matches.



Alliekit
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15 Mar 2016, 10:12 am

rdos wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
If you do join okcupid they have these questions you can answer that increase the accuracy of your matches :)


Only to a minor degree, and there are no questions that can make OkC match you with only neurodiverse people. I still have my experimental account, and sometimes I get high matches that appears to be neurodiverse, but that appears to be because I selected "polyamory" and "asexual", and also answered those kind of questions like that. For somebody more mainstream in the relationship area, I cannot see any possibility for neurodiverse people to get mostly neurodiverse matches.


If you are looking for neuro dynamic specifically I do believe there are a few sites that cater to that :)



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15 Mar 2016, 10:22 am

I have been looking around at a few dating sites my self and okcupid does seem better. At least you can see if you align with someone more. But don't read into that too much as they say opposites attract you might be better looking at the 100% enemies :) jk but if someone is 50% they might just not have answered the same questions and who wants to be with someone who is perfectly aligned anyway might as well go out with yourself.

Been on there since the start of this year and only struck up a conversation with one women. That's the hardest part women don't really message they expect you to.


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rdos
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15 Mar 2016, 10:54 am

Alliekit wrote:
rdos wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
If you do join okcupid they have these questions you can answer that increase the accuracy of your matches :)


Only to a minor degree, and there are no questions that can make OkC match you with only neurodiverse people. I still have my experimental account, and sometimes I get high matches that appears to be neurodiverse, but that appears to be because I selected "polyamory" and "asexual", and also answered those kind of questions like that. For somebody more mainstream in the relationship area, I cannot see any possibility for neurodiverse people to get mostly neurodiverse matches.


If you are looking for neuro dynamic specifically I do believe there are a few sites that cater to that :)


Those are only targeting people that are diagnosed, and possibly those that suspect they are neurodiverse. This is only a small minority of people that are neurodiverse. Such sites will also tend to match people with lots of problems, which is not optimal.



yellowtamarin
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15 Mar 2016, 10:03 pm

rdos wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
If you do join okcupid they have these questions you can answer that increase the accuracy of your matches :)


Only to a minor degree, and there are no questions that can make OkC match you with only neurodiverse people. I still have my experimental account, and sometimes I get high matches that appears to be neurodiverse, but that appears to be because I selected "polyamory" and "asexual", and also answered those kind of questions like that. For somebody more mainstream in the relationship area, I cannot see any possibility for neurodiverse people to get mostly neurodiverse matches.

Write some questions about it! I've written three questions on there, because there were some things that I wanted to know that weren't being asked. The problem is though at this late stage, not many people will answer your question because they have to get through 2000 other questions first.

I have found that the higher the match %, the more chance they are higher than average on autistic traits. More likely to be similar to me. Despite the questions not being specifically about neurodiversity.