Posting a non-cynical opinion on L&D...

Post Reply New Topic

Personally I think resentment is wasted energy.

In terms of dating, the us vs. them attitude makes no sense, becuase resenting what you want is self defeating.

I will call out certain behaviour though. One was an "NT" person who I suspected was manufacturing drama, and basically confirmed saying it made things more interesting.

Nobody needs that, not least people on the spectrum who are generally well able to detect an deal with that.

Last edited by 0_equals_true on 21 Mar 2016, 6:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

This Katy figure is mythical to me. I must have missed her presence on this forum.

Sounds like an old school troll, dedicated to the craft, if you can call it that.

Yes. If the advice is sound. Katy doesn't post very diplomatically but IMO there is sense in plenty of what she says, there are things that can be taken from what she says. Just the belittling and insulting shouldn't be taken from it (unless that's what gives you your kicks - whatever works for you).

If I don't agree with what she says, it has nothing to do with the way she said it or who she is.

But I don't have to *like* it, that's different to acknowledging, understanding and accepting it, and hopefully even using it for some benefit.


She doesn't do that though, at least not that I've seen. Plenty of people interpret her words in that kind of way, but that's not what is actually being said, as far as I can tell.

You can't expect people to not be in the defensive while being insulted.

Oh yes, she did it a lot, ask all the guys here.

You just don't remember because she never attacks members of your gender.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 21 Mar 2016, 7:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Who is katy?

She came under many usernames, so pulling her post history would be too hard ;p.

Ahh, that would explain it, I tried searching.

What if you are Katy, Boo?

^ That's a good plot twist, I give you that. :p

No, I won't just ask the guys here. I read her posts. I see the reactions. I see people interpreting her words in an overly dramatic way, taking something different from it than what could be taken if they saw it from a different angle.

I'm not saying she's definitely not deliberately insulting or belittling people, but I know it's not for certain that she is, because when I read her posts I see a different interpretation to the ones the most pessimistic members here tend to see.

People can be defensive if they like, I'm not going to stop them. But it detracts from the message or advice that is being put out there. What use is it to insist that someone is deliberately attacking you, and discount the advice because of this view? It's just not productive at all. And that's the point of this thread, really, I think. When people try to help in this forum, they tend to get a lot of negativity in return. It's all nice and cuddly to support each other with hugs and "yeah it does suck, doesn't it?", but that doesn't solve anything or help anyone in the long run. It just makes people feel less alone about feeling bad, rather than working on improving things and therefore feeling better.

Last edited by yellowtamarin on 21 Mar 2016, 7:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Worthy of M nighty shiteyman.

She has stated that Aspies not "pollute the gene pool."

Yellow, you are unbelievable if you can't see the offensive parts in her posts -

how would you take it If I tell you something like:
You can't find a long term bf because ALL men of the World dislike YOU.

Deny also this that she never said something like that.

This statement is false too, because most of us only meet a very tiny % of men and women of the world; but the exaggeration is meant to be an insult.

You don't see her offensive because you were never the target.
Her posts *are* offensive, it's not not something subjectine that only few see it that way; you are the one blind to it.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 21 Mar 2016, 7:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Well, I didn't say that I can't see how it can be taken in an offensive way.

You seem to be missing my point and in a way giving an example of it. Maybe someone has said "something like that". That is my point. You have most likely changed the wording around after interpreting the original wording in your head and coming up with a new meaning. I have never seen this particular user saying "all of the women of the world hate YOU". But I HAVE seen her posts interpreted in that kind of way, when that isn't the wording she used and it didn't need to be interpreted in that way.

And maybe she has said that, and what kraftiekortie said she said (I tried doing a search on that since he put it in quotation marks which suggests it was a direct quote, but I couldn't find it). If she did, that was obviously insulting. I'm just saying that I haven't noticed that exact sort of phrasing being used, but I have noticed wording being manipulated in order to interpret in the most pessimistic and least productive way.

(I'm not sure we are supposed to discuss past users but I don't know any other way to discuss this interesting topic without doing so. I apologise to mods if I'm stepping over a line.)

She had said that plenty and plenty of times.

Remember that mods delete/edit insulting posts from trolls.

In that phrasing?

"You can't find a long term gf because ALL women of the World dislike YOU."

If so, yes that is insulting and incorrect and not good advice.

But I have seen plenty of other sentences being interpreted as her saying something like that, when that is not what she has said. These are the sentences I'm talking about, and presumably what the OP is talking about. He is not being deliberately offensive, he is trying to help, who cares if he isn't as skilled at diplomacy as you want him to be, is it good advice? Can you take something from it? That's the important part, I believe.