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rdos
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15 Apr 2016, 3:12 pm

I think some people might misunderstand what the preference to observe that many NDs have is really about. First, this is not meant to be a passive thing at all, because then there is nothing to observe. It can easily turn into something passive that doesn't go anywhere if people involved think they don't need to do anything to advance things. The primary reason this might not lead anywhere is that people are passive. Also, the girl has a similar role in showing off things as the guy has, so if the girl goes with the traditional gender expectations that "guys do everything", then a failure is unavoidable.



hurtloam
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15 Apr 2016, 3:22 pm

Is this a word that has been lost in translation? Observe means to watch, to look at, to discern.

You're still not explaining where the action is.


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rdos
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15 Apr 2016, 3:45 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Is this a word that has been lost in translation? Observe means to watch, to look at, to discern.


No, it wasn't lost in translation. It means what you wrote.

hurtloam wrote:
You're still not explaining where the action is.


The first action is that in order to be able to observe, you need to seek each others out actively. That's pretty easy if you are in the same school or part of some interest group, otherwise this can be very complicated, especially since you cannot plan it verbally if you use the observation method.

However, just to seek each others company is not enough to advance it. You also need to show off. This too can be quite complicated to do without direct conversation, but it's quite possible.