Just got rejected, and it is getting odd

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The_Face_of_Boo
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16 Jul 2016, 2:02 pm

Sabreclaw wrote:
Romantic interest can develop over time. The last girl I had a crush on, I thought was a strange looking git when I first met her. It was long after we became friends that I started developing stronger feelings for her. I sure as hell wasn't "pretending" to be her friend all that time.


Yeah that's true, but why she wouldn't develop it over time like I did?

Pfff



Sabreclaw
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16 Jul 2016, 2:12 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
Romantic interest can develop over time. The last girl I had a crush on, I thought was a strange looking git when I first met her. It was long after we became friends that I started developing stronger feelings for her. I sure as hell wasn't "pretending" to be her friend all that time.


Yeah that's true, but why she wouldn't develop it over time like I did?

Pfff


I was responding to something Sweetleaf said. I just couldn't be bothered using the quote thing 'cause I'm really tired.

I said romantic feelings CAN develop, not that they WILL. She probably just thinks you're an ugly old bastard and finds the notion of dating you to be horrifying. Best to just move on instead of dwelling on things.



The_Face_of_Boo
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16 Jul 2016, 2:24 pm

Btw, what's really saddening, that she goes clingy over every guy she thinks she may have a chance with, at least 3 guys who are mutual buddies complained to me (in mocking way) about her constant texting/facebook interactions with them.
Yet, she doesn't appreciate my texts and she rarely ever texts me. :| Meh.



Sweetleaf
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16 Jul 2016, 3:07 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
at Sweetleaf:

Quote:
No no, she simply said she doesn't find me attractive (she literally said it), her rejection wasn't due to something that complicated.



No one picked up anything.


She probably wouldn't have wanted to admit it if she felt you wanted to date her out of pity or doing her a favor.

But if not, could just be.....she simply doesn't like you back romantically and doesn't find you attractive which there isn't really anything you can do much about. Would you date someone you didn't find attractive?


But why she wouldn't find me attractive? No one finds her attractive....I am not exaggerating, no one. It's a fact, and I did feel sad for her because she's delusional.

If no girl ever found me attractive, then of course I am gonna at least give a chance to the first girl who likes me, is that wrong?


Well than I take it you don't find her attractive either?....why would the amount of people who find her attractive effect how attractive she thinks you are? Either way no it wouldn't be 'wrong' to give a chance to the first person who likes you.....but if you don't feel sexual attraction to that person it might be difficult to give them that chance.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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16 Jul 2016, 3:29 pm

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Well than I take it you don't find her attractive either?....


No, you are assuming wrong.


Quote:
why would the amount of people who find her attractive effect how attractive she thinks you are?


Because... she doesn't have much chances otherwise?



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16 Jul 2016, 4:05 pm

Oh man.. :lol:

I guess, that
she had put you in the friendzoned area and you illegally crossed the border into where she didn't ever imagine. She thought that you just did something illegal in a very sudden manner. Next time try slower entry.


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kraftiekortie
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16 Jul 2016, 4:53 pm

You're just too "available," Boo.

Those other guys she is intrigued by because of their inaccessibility.

That's the nature of male/female interactions at times.

I've been through the same thing, and thought like you, too.



Barchan
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16 Jul 2016, 5:45 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
No no, she simply said she doesn't find me attractive (she literally said it), her rejection wasn't due to something that complicated.

And that what drives me crazy, I mean she is not conventionally beautiful, all guys I know find her ugly and odd, I did hear their opinions when they talk about girls in our social circle.

Then why she won't accept me?


Well obviously she's very hung up on appearances. She sees herself as unattractive, she's insecure, so she seeks validation from men more attractive than herself.



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16 Jul 2016, 5:53 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
But why she wouldn't find me attractive? No one finds her attractive....I am not exaggerating, no one. It's a fact, and I did feel sad for her because she's delusional.


I think that that sentence may be part of the reason. From your comments, it sounds like you felt that you were superior to her and like you were doing her a favor by showing interest, and it's quite possible she picked up on it.



Barchan
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16 Jul 2016, 6:01 pm

Alliekit wrote:
It's a shame but I guess the chemistry just wasn't there. Like even when you are desperate you still cant force yourself to be with someone who you don't have chemistry with.

Yes, this is true. Most women would rather remain single, than date someone they aren't attracted to. I'd rather wait for true love than jump into an empty relationship.

My current romantic prospect, I'll admit, I've kept teetering on the brink of the friend zone. I'm getting old enough to where I can't exactly afford to be picky, and I'd be willing to date him, but... I'm still not 100% sure I can't do better.

Stargazer43 wrote:
From your comments, it sounds like you felt that you were superior to her and like you were doing her a favor by showing interest, and it's quite possible she picked up on it.

Really. I wasn't gonna say anything, but reading Boo's comments makes it hard to blame her for not wanting to give him the time of day.



lidsmichelle
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16 Jul 2016, 6:23 pm

Barchan wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
It's a shame but I guess the chemistry just wasn't there. Like even when you are desperate you still cant force yourself to be with someone who you don't have chemistry with.

Yes, this is true. Most women would rather remain single, than date someone they aren't attracted to. I'd rather wait for true love than jump into an empty relationship.

My current romantic prospect, I'll admit, I've kept teetering on the brink of the friend zone. I'm getting old enough to where I can't exactly afford to be picky, and I'd be willing to date him, but... I'm still not 100% sure I can't do better.

Stargazer43 wrote:
From your comments, it sounds like you felt that you were superior to her and like you were doing her a favor by showing interest, and it's quite possible she picked up on it.

Really. I wasn't gonna say anything, but reading Boo's comments makes it hard to blame her for not wanting to give him the time of day.

Yeah I was thinking that lol.

I've rejected guys before even when I thought no one could ever be interested in me (despite how I feel about my appearance I've been told I'm attractive - I guess just not by my standards of what's attractive lol), because I wasn't interested in them and I wasn't going to date someone just so I didn't have to be alone.

Actually, when I was 19 in early December, I was really interested in this one guy but thought I didn't have a chance. My male friend was interested in one of our mutual acquaintances but she wasn't interested back, so he asked me out because"we're both single and miserable." I rejected him because I wasn't interested in him like that (things I could tolerate as a friend I could not tolerate in a relationship as well lmao), even though I felt unattractive and like the guy I was into would never want to date me

(Well, fast forward to late February, I'm 20 now, and the guy I liked actually was interested in me too and asked me out anyways lol).

My point is just because you are/feel unattractive and undesirable doesn't mean you are going to settle for someone you don't have romantic and/or sexual attraction to. Most women would rather be single than with someone where there was nothing on their end. Single is better then a mediocre relationship with someone you never wanted to date.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Jul 2016, 12:59 am

So now it's my fault? :|



Barchan
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17 Jul 2016, 1:23 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
So now it's my fault? :|

It's no one's fault. You can't help that you have these feelings, and she can't help that she doesn't. Love is beyond our control.



The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Jul 2016, 5:23 am

Barchan wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
So now it's my fault? :|

It's no one's fault. You can't help that you have these feelings, and she can't help that she doesn't. Love is beyond our control.


But you said you don't blame her, which means that you blame me.

Why didn't you respond like this in the equivalent thread? :lol:



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17 Jul 2016, 7:01 am

It's not her fault. It's not your fault.

It's just the way it is. It's just sucky luck.

I've asked women, many times, why they don't want me.....all they always say is: I can't really say why. It's just I don't feel romantic towards you (or variations on what theme).

I've had feelings that women should "give me a try." All the time. It doesn't work.

The chemistry just has to be there. If a woman starts dating you to "give you a try," it will always be unsuccessful.



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17 Jul 2016, 7:03 am

HighLlama wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Btw, I am more good-looking than her (even girls told me so)
That was so charitable of you to ask her out, then.
^ This. :mrgreen:


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