Acceptable Age Gap?

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But apparently that's 'dishonest', 'manipulative' and 'being something you are not'.

People demand an honest partner and one who 'be's themselves' and not one who 'pretends to be something they are not' but don't want a negative person.

I'm one to talk because I don't want to date super depressed girls, but I'm definitely far more realist ('pessimist' to most people) that it would probably hurt my chances.

Seriously.

Some people are naturally negative and actually enjoy or are content with being this way.

But the world seems to have no room for negative people and constantly wants to push everyone to be 'positive' and 'happy' and a good little worker.

Some people can only be something they are not when they decide to be positive.

Here, just take a look at this example videos. This isn't exactly about positive vs. negative, it's a little different.

It's about relaxed/monotonous sort of voice and mannerisms and behavior vs happy, open, extraverted, etc.

The first video is what the Youtuber Andrew Hails is normally like when he is being himself:



This second video is when he decides to put on 'the act':



Uncanny valley anyone?

I'm naturally very calm, relaxed and laidback. I'm definitely a lot like him, except for more 'open' body language (I don't constantly stand with hands in pockets and arms so close together, etc.) and instead of sounding cold and dead, my voice sounds like a more 'relaxed' monotone.

I could put on the happy sounding energetic extravert act with more emotion in his voice, but it would probably be just like Andrew Hails doing it.

Today I dated a 29 year old girl. Average looks. Matter-of-fact personality. Afterwards I went shopping and saw this cute girl with her boyfriend. She had vitality to match her looks. She literally jumped up to kiss him. He was was a lot taller than her, about my height.

I thought to myself, why can't I be with a cute girl like that. I thought about it and I knew the answer. She's about 20. Her boyfriend is about 20. I turn 29 in 5 days. 20 year old girls don't want to date 29 year old guys. My fate is to date girls my own age. It always was.

The only way I could have dated a cute 20 year old is if I had done it when I was 20 years old. I didn't. I flirted with a girl at TAFE when I was 20 and I didn't date her. It's too late now. I will never date a cute girl. I look in the mirror and my skin is mottled by age the same way my date's is. Time has no mercy for any of us.

After age 25, virginity, no job, lack of experience etc is all looked down on.

I've got about 7 years.

Quite sad, really we have to live in a world where likliehood of dating success dies so quickly despite our high lifespans.

Well you're right about girls not liking guys without a job. Virginity? Lack of experience? Most of the girls I've dated didn't care.

Most girls aren't turned off by male virgins. Most girls are not that shallow. The one I lost it too said it gave her performance anxiety, she said she felt she had to make it special

It seems to me that age gaps are becoming more acceptable in an increasingly secular and ethical world that is less governed by religious taboos than it used to be; in fact I know an Aspergirl aged 50 with a 30yo BF; they were embarrassed about it first but quite open now.

I am in a not-sure-where-it'll-end-up on-off friends-maybe-more confused-as-hell thing with my ex who contacted me after an acrimonious split a couple years ago (she's calmed down a lot now and my own mental health is somewhat better than then). Point is she's 10 years younger than me (I'm 51) and this seems a little on the large side as most men I know my age seem to have SOs around 5 years younger or, bizarrely, around the same. Then again since we both have AS it's difficult to know how much of it is due to that.

Both of us are wary of going beyond "friends" right now and both have profiles on OKC and PoF (though we keep getting matched by OKC - maybe it's trying to tell us something ) What I find odd is that OKC seems to want to match me with women in their mid-30s - mid 40s while PoF seems to match me with women in their mid 40s or older.

I guess at the end you find someone you "click" with and if it works and isn't illegal, go for it. YYMV if you want children though.

I also meant lack of indepened e.g. still living at home, cannot drive, etc.

It seems most young people only have a very brief timeframe straight after high school before they are expected to have their sh•t together and also if you aren't working at age 25 have to at least be halfway through studying at uni or such.

Truth is 7 years is quite a while but also not actually that long, the time goes by faster than one would think and I'm sure you are aware of this.

The fact each year becomes faster than the previous is not just a superstition, it's a proven mathematical fact due to the fact each year has less mathematical value in your life, e.g. when you're 10, one year is 10% if your life, when you're 100, it's only 1% of your life, and when you're 50, only 2%, and so on.

Besides, with rising lifespans, 7 years is such a minimal amount of time now.

When the average human died at age 25, 7 years was almost 1/3 of our life.

I think you'll be fine once you're in Uni.

Seven years is quite a while when you're 18.

I wish I was as good-looking and strong-looking as you are. I looked very young and scrawny at 18. Yet I did sort of all right with girls.

I wish there was a way you can get over the hump.

Do they have clubs for parkour? You can make good use of your music, too.

Statistics are a load of bollocks.

I'm 28 and doomed

I think 7 years is a reasonable time frame for you to get shared or indepenant accomodation and start learning to drive, if you haven't started already.True. Getting a place and getting your Ps can be accomplished in less than a year but education is something you have to plan for two years before you graduate high school, at an age when most people are not prepared to make that kind of decision.

Then it's a few years of uni before you get to work in that field. People often find that studying one field and working in that field are very different experiences.I am and it terrifies me.This is true.When the average human died at age 25 it was due to a third of the population living to 75 and the other two thirds dying in infancy.

Nowadays the girls actually like that sort of guy.

"I think 7 years is a reasonable time frame for you to get shared or indepenant accomodation and start learning to drive, if you haven't started already."

I'd only want to have shared accomodation if I had a gf, but I need friends to get a gf and need friends to get friends.

To live alone I am thinking of accessing disability services to assist with this sort of thing, but I'd have to partly overcome my severe anxiety.

My anxiety is general so it can be social anxiety, separation anxiety, agoraphobia, etc. anything and everything.

I have difficulty staying at home alone without feeling nervous and paranoid and feel paranoid at night when everyone else is asleep so actually living alone would be hell unless I have a social worker visiting to check up on my almost daily.

The problem is I have to overcome OTHER issues first.

Even N.T.'s have other stuff going on in their lives that slows them down, so they might be too busy to always be driving so some N.T.'s only get their full license at age 19 or 20 or such.

The fact I have to overcome my anxiety about getting behind the wheel first, which can take several months to years, is already a major setback.

The fact I have agoraphobia and am afraid of leaving the house even by riding my bike, a car and all the anxiety associated with that is a big step up.

This will take years. YEARS.

I've already made a lot of progress since I graduated Nov. last year, but it's still minimal.

I'm proud of the fact I can walk or ride a few blocks alone, lol when to 99% of people this stuff comes easily and naturally.

There are people my age who own cars, drive, live alone in a city hours away from their parents, work a part-time job and attend university.

I feel so alone as an Agoraphobic aspie as it's rare even here. People take for granted the fact they can feel safe outdoors.

"I am and it terrifies me."

I seriously think you're fine, or at least in the eyes of Aussie society should be.

You live alone, work a modest paying job, can drive, etc. All you need is to get a decent guy and educationally, financially and career-wise you're all good.

"When the average human died at age 25 it was due to a third of the population living to 75 and the other two thirds dying in infancy."

What do you mean?

I'm talking about when the life expectancy was low globally, the entire species. 25 is an exaggeration, actually. A few centuries ago it was about 45.

I didn't mean it that way. I just meant the increasing speed at which time seems to pass. Like one moment I'm 24 and then BAM! I'm 28.

Don't care about age. Never did. I had relationships with people w a -10 to +30 yrs gap.

DH was 23 and 4 years younger when we met. Lived at home, didn't have a car nor a job. Was almost a virgin. Never had a LTR. Never lived together. Has/had severe anxiety.

Didn't make any difference.
We just fell in love, connected instantly. Was a gut feeling and an instant 'just being myself and comfortable' with each other.

So you see, sometimes magic stuff just happens. Love/in love does this weird stuff with our brains and bodies that can help overcome so much more than I/DH thought possible.

Of course one can always choose to not believe in fairy tales nor magic

I'd like someone pretty close to my age. Within a couple of years or so. Maybe that'll change as I get older.

I didn't have my own car until I was 50. I didn't drive until I was 37.

I feel Outrider really needs a mentor who is slightly older than him (perhaps 25?)--sort of like a "big brother" type.

They can hang out together. The older guy can teach him "the ropes" gently, and not act like an ass about it. Teach him to drive, even. Starting with malls.

Outrider can benefit the "big brother" by sharing his knowledge and his music.