Acceptable Age Gap?

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It won't change because you complain about it. Personally, I'm not attracted to or interested in women my own age, and if I would need to find a new partner, I'll look for women 30-35, not 50-60. Part of the reason for that is that I don't think I have anything in common with people my age.

Still, if a woman my age behaves more like somebody around 30, then I might consider it.

In my personal experience, most women are interested in men who are the same age or older. Most men are interested in women who are the same age or younger. I've personally only dated one woman who was older than me and she was one year older. Almost all the women I dated before I got married were younger than me with the youngest being ten years younger. My wife is six years younger than me.

I don't think there are any hard fast rules about this. It just seems to me that it typically works out that way.

Some couples with large age differences. Some broke up but most are still together.


LOUISE FORD AND ROWAN ATKINSON - 28 Years Difference


ELLEN BARKIN AND SAM LEVINSON - 31 Years Difference


BILLY JOEL AND ALEXIS RODERICK - 33 Years Difference


MARTIN MICA AND SHARON STONE - 30 Years Difference


SUNNY OZELL AND PATRICK STEWART - 39 Years Difference

As a 31-year-old guy who in many emotional/social aspects feels around age 15 or 16 (or even younger, sometimes), there isn't an age for a woman that's too young, unless it's illegal. While I'd consider dating an older woman, either I'd gravitate toward a mother/son sort of relationship, or else the woman would need to be even more delayed in her emotional development than I am.

That's what I see as the main benefit of dating a woman who either is on the spectrum, or has some other developmental disorder--she's more likely to be emotionally in tune with me, and also to understand that age and maturity, and maturity in different facets of a person, need not even be remotely correlated the way it is for "normal" people.

No offense intended at all by this comment, but did you notice that all those examples were celebrities who have a lot of money? There's a phenomenon known as "Gold Digging" where people of both sexes will partner with someone much older than them -- or someone they are simply not physically attracted to -- in order to gain access to their money. Just some food for thought.

None taken. 'Gold Digging' is just a recent, and I think western term for one aspect of relationship patterns that has exsisted for millenia. There have been many forms of 'acceptable age gaps' thru history. Things like arranged marriages, political bondings (not just high level, like royalty. but also very small scale at the itchy clan level). Love and attraction were (and are) not always primary considerations in matches. Such traditions continue to this day in different cultures. The concept today has a very negative connotation in popular culture but has (and is) considered very practical and fortunate by others. I would never condemn any pair who went into it voluntarily and honestly, whatever their personal reasons are. I would only find a person who premeditated going in long enough to pillage financially and leave, reprehensible.

Thanks to people like you I still have hope.

I can give you two examples, that are neither for money nor any other reason, other than love and attraction. One being myself and my boyfriend who are 23 years apart, and my step aunt and uncle, who are 25 years apart, and they have been married for an infinity. It is more common than you think.

My father is 25 years older than his present wife.

My mom's 28 years older than me. According to Freud, my chances are pretty good.

Age gaps only appear to become more acceptable the older one gets, which is unfortunate because it means you have a lot of waiting until that happens OP, as do I.

At 16 I had a 19 year old girlfriend and even that was the source of a lot of comments by her family over it.

Once you're like 50, however, dating someone 35 apparently isn't considered inappropriate at all.

Otherwise, as evidence in this forum has shown, even 25 year olds or so are told they're 'a little too young' for, say, a 28 year old woman.

Again, 18 year olds must have it the worst of all, as they can't legally date younger, and they're considered too young for the vast majority of adults.

They can only date same age or, if they're exceptionally lucky, a girlfriend 1-2 years older.

This is true. When I was 17, I dated a girl who was 14 and people acted like I was Pedobear. I'm still platonic friends with that girl all these years later and I married a women three years younger than her. People don't care about the age gap if you are older.

For you young guys out there, you'll find that it gets a lot easier to date someone the older you get. Guys tend to peak in their late 20s/early 30s and then it's a lot easier to attract a partner when you are at your most handsome with more financial resources that come from years of participating in the workforce. Don't give up hope!

I think guys in their 40s and 50s also have good chances, at least if they go for women in their 30s or older.

Examples of large age gaps leads you to the rich and famous because that is what makes the news and you can Goggle it.

In terms of long term relationships, marriage, I think maturity is a more important factor then age. 100 years ago that was late teens, 50 years ago it was early 20s. Today it seems later, with marriage age worldwide averaging late 20s and in some countries 30+.

I wonder how far the trend will continue and what it means.

My husband is six years younger than me. In addition to being spectrumy, I also had a long, abusive relationship before I met him that probably stunted my emotional development (not being allowed to think for yourself will do that). I actually felt he was more mature than me in the beginning. Now we're about equal. It's funny, because he has gone gray and everyone thinks he's older than me now.

I did two equivalent poll threads for each thread in the adult section asking a question whether you prefer someone wanting you only for sex or wanting you only for money (and I added an aliens story of transforming all humans of the opposite sex into one of the two categories: either sex seekers or money seekers) - 99% of both men and women voted for sex seekers.

Conclusion: Gold diggers are the least desired type of partners. Even only-wanting-sex partners are better than them.