Need help.. She beats me why?
14 Oct 2016, 10:13 pm
So I met a girl at my current job and I used to have an x gf who is still on speaking terms.
So I dated a girl for a little while j, that I met earlier last year at my first temp.assignment. She seemed cool but that moved fairly fast and I made most of the "moves" like I initated most convos and such, especially in the begining. This made sense after she told me she was an aspie girl. She helped me get most of the confidence I have now tho. She encouraged me to be a man and have balls.enough to not get walked on. Also she was drop dead Gorgeous so why wouldn't that inflate my ego. So all was cool then I forgot a date cus I had to go to court to contest a ticket and missed a phone conversation and she was trying to tell me she was moving as I stopped working at the same place as her.
She then j moved. I ket up conversation with her and eventually went to go see her new place. She moved out of her house in a nearby major city, gave up two of her jobs, and moved out to the middle of nowhere in a crappy house. She also got alot of dogs , fish and what ever purely on impulse. She made more then enough to aford her rent but she said "my roommates moved out and I couldnt aford the rent." She made 18 dollars an bour at one job and 12 at another and she did photography as well when she was free. She told me she had made 3k+ at some upscale weddings.
So I got mad at her when she had said money was tight and had alot of pets cus they were free at a local book store, just going to a.good home and just so cute. I got mad cus her priorties were all out of whack we stopped really hanging out and we grew to where we talked rarely ever but for a while when we did.
Then one day she skyped me and she was crying saying I'm sorry but I need you right now. I was like yeah what ever (in my head), but I said "um whats up, she said she was high on oxycodone and she could feel it kicking in and immediately began to regret it. She said that she was an addict and should have told me and she relapsed. I was like fk that you could have told me and I wouldn't be this pissed I used to be addicted to cough syrup and I told you that in confidence. I was like until you can prove your 6 months sober dont even talk to me. I then proceded to just shut my phone off.
I just the other day got a picture of a certificate of one month sobriety from her rehab center and nothing else. I just texted her a text that said like I said six months sober. She didnt even respond. Nothing from her since
Then at the begining of this week I met this one girl let's go with the first letter of her first name for her pseudonym. We will call her B. B works near me at my new full time temp to hire job. She has only talked to me once for like 5 to 10 minutes. That was like two days ago. This was due to her working in my section im usually in.
Now she just randomly messes with me by giving me a hard time about nonsensical stuff and smiles when she does it sometimes even gigles softly. She has yet to really tallk to me again in the sense of small talk. she has initated almost all of it.
Im 21 B is 27, she has 3 kids she said.
Im kicking my self for it but I said "im glad I dont have kids". Idk about a man I assume she is single.
Im trying to act more shy and playing hard to get vs. socially ackword like I feel I am coming across to her.
My only problem here is that I feel like I cannot initate anything with her as I am not good enough and also im just very self-confident about everything so as not to turn her away.
I find it hard to look at her alot when interacting. I look down a bit when I talk to her then back up then down and keep doing what ever I was doing then back up and then down. I try to smile back but idk what my expression is in the moment.
I have an idea as how to flirt back at least once. Idk if I could even muster up enough confidence tho with out studdering.
Idk if she likes me I rather flirt vs. Just asking her / confessing my feelings just yet. This has only been going on for like 3 or 4 days now.
Yet I occasionally wonder if j is wondering about me and how she is doing yet I have a hard time reaffirming my statement to J.
Yet It's hard to say (not to jump the gun cus idk what she thinks and asumptions never did me any good. Purely just a last thought) but I feel like I like B is a good person, she just seems like she has a genuineness to her. As far as I know her She seems incredibly well rounded and confident. Idk what she thinks of me but I think she is incredibly nice and fun idk what else I really think as I hardly know her.
Something about B says B would be good for me idk what but I just sort of sense it. I'm more sure each day. I mean Like being good enough to keep a girl like her in my life is what I need.
Like being more responsible and less laissez-faire and lazy with my attitude twords the law, and about most chores isnt a bad thing anyways. No matter what at least this girl indirectly gets me to be more aware of my self and what im doing as to then have a shot with other girls such as herself.
What should I do...
1)To keep B interested
2) to not seem ackword and have more confidence
3)to know if B even has any interest in me. (Can give more detail if needed)
4)is it ok to date B if it even goes that far?
5) if I should even worry about women or just better my self cus being alone is making me go nutz.
