Do you think she might be into me?

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Joined: 24 Jun 2012
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 981
Location: Hamburg, Germany

09 Dec 2016, 2:29 pm

Hi all,

I currently have a bit of a crush on a woman at my new workplace (I'm a woman too) and I think maybe she likes me too, but I'm not sure. I know you can't really tell me either, but I have a bit of a history of over-interpreting things so I just kinda want to hear a different view from an outsider?

None of these things means much by itself but I think as a sum it might be hinting towards something.

- shortly after I started the job I went into the kitchen and she was already there. She asked me if I'm new, what my name is and in which department I work. That was my first contact with her
- at the first company party I went to, she asked to sit with me on the way there (by bus) and we talked a bit, on the way back she wanted to sit with me again (although she has been there for a year and definitely knows some people).
- we don't work in the same office but whenever we worked on the same issue, she came over to my office to ask or explain things instead of using the company chat program like most people do
- she also came pretty close to me once to show me something on my screen, which wouldn't have been necessary
- whenever we randomly are in the kitchen at the same time, she talks to me and only me, even if there's someone else in the room
- she kinda bumped into me once as she was entering the restroom and I was walking out, said 'oops' and smiled at me
- when I came into the kitchen today she was sitting with people from her department, the table was kind of full and I was about to sit down somewhere else as she pointed to the seat next to her and said 'you can sit here'. She then sat pretty close to me (like, turned in my direction with her arm mostly on my table).
- we left the office at the same time one evening and used the elevator together, there was this brief awkward silence then she started to ask me stuff like how I like my job etc and we talked all the way to the bus stop. I don't know, it might just be friendly coworker stuff, but I feel like she always makes an effort to talk to me whenever I'm around.
- dunno if she even likes women, but I do get that 'vibe' from her if I may get stereotypical for a moment. She doesn't dress or style very 'feminine' and she has an interest in stuff like sports, fishing, kitesurfing...

So. I feel like I wouldn't ever act like that towards a coworker if I don't have some special interest. I mean, everybody else has been nice to me, the new girl, but she's the only one not from my office to directly seek contact to me. But then that might mean nothing. Last time I had a serious crush I thought the person felt the same for me but that turned out to be wrong, although now that I think about it that previous crush never made it a point to spend time with me directly.

My current plan is to hopefully spend some more time with her in the next week and then on Friday we'll have a big christmas party and I'll see what happens there.

Your Aspie Score: 151 of 200
Your NT Score: 48 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie


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Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,250
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

09 Dec 2016, 3:56 pm

Sanctus wrote:

My current plan is to hopefully spend some more time with her in the next week and then on Friday we'll have a big christmas party and I'll see what happens there.

Keeper, right there! Whether as a friend or lover, you can never go wrong with a kiter! :D

Sounds like she may be into you.. and that your current plan is good, too. Just carry on and see what happens. Good luck! :)

No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 24 Mar 2016
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 160

09 Dec 2016, 8:16 pm

At what point did you develop this crush? I know as aspies we occasionaly assume things socially that end up being wrong because we tend to analyze every little thing, like in this case when someone is being so nice it can be difficult to read. I know it can be difficult for some people to attempt, but see if she wants to hang out outside of work. She seems real friendly with you like she atleast wants to be your friend, so it sounds like she would be up for that. From there you can figure out if she has other intentions by how the conversations go. If she does like you in the way you are hoping she probably isn't going to make it known when at the workplace, you've gotta start talking to her outside of work. Next time you see her just say "hey, would you like to go get a cup of coffee sometime outside of work" or something like that, and exchange numbers. As two females, this wouldn't come off as awkward as if a male asked a female this at work, so don't worry about it.

"I was born in a world where I don't fit in, so I guess the only choice is make a new one"