I haven't actually dated anyone since I got diagnosed. I think that will change my goals. I will look for someone who not only understands my communication, but finds it enjoyable and useful to translate for me.
Otherwise, I guess it will stay the same. I tend to feel most attracted to bisexual feminists. Women who disavow feminism often use stereotypes to excuse or justify acting like jerks, in my experience, as in "You have to expect this kind of behavior from women." I'm heteroflexible, so it's nice to match in that regard.
Confidence will dissuade abusive guys, and encourage guys who like independent women. It has to continue, though. If someone tries to damage your confidence, don't date him. By the same token, some people will lie to you with compliments in order to make you care what they say before they switch to abuse. Real confidence will help you reject absurd lies, even if they are complimentary.
I can read a lot from a hug, at least on the level of physical comfort. People who don't feel physically comfortable with me usually can't fully surrender to a hug, and the same applies to me. Giving and receiving a nice close hug can focus, stimulate, and confirm mutual attraction, and it feels great.
I hope that helps. I've had friends who kept attracting abusers and I really root for them to find a way to change the game.
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"I find that the best way [to increase self-confidence] is to lie to yourself about who you are, what you've done, and where you're going." - Richard Ayoade